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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Helping my mother deal with my depression and anxiety?

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Author Topic: Helping my mother deal with my depression and anxiety?
Member # 61437

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I'm in the process of being diagnosed with depression and generalised anxiety, and this is something that my mother is having difficulty with.

I had a major anxiety attack, that she assumed had to be something physical, because if I wasn't thinking anxious thoughts, why would I have the physical reaction? The only explanation she really 'got on' with is that anxiety, physiologically, can be sort of similar to epilepsy in the way that physical symptoms can just -happen- even when there's no obvious external cause. Its just brain impulses.

She said she'd be open to reading books or articles, does anyone know of any that deal with depression and anxiety on a more physiological basis than on a 'psycho-babble' basis, as my mother refers to it as? She's incredibly practically minded, so she only really gets my depression in the terms of it-is-a-problem-with-serotonin-in-my-brain, seeing as I live a perfectly comfortable contented lifestyle, and have no 'reason' to be unhappy.

Any recommendations/reviews would be greatly appreciated!

Posts: 160 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Hey, techie. As a sexuality education organization serving young people, this is very far outside our scope. I'm happy to leave it up in case users can come and pitch in, but it's simply not something we should be investing our limited time and resources in.

Ultimately, I think your better bet would be to direct your mother to the mental health resources through the NHS for the books she wants.

Sorry, but we have to draw some limits on what we address here sometimes to try and keep a precedent of staying within our scope.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 61437

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Fair enough, I guess I got caught up in how good you guys have been with recommending books and workbooks for other topics I sort of forgot your main intentions...
Posts: 160 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Peer Ambassador
Member # 91788

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Hey techie, as a fellow user on Scarleteen who has been diagnosed with depression and a severe anxiety disorder, PTSD, I find that I really identify with what you're stating.

My mother has also been having difficulties understanding the issues that I've been having. I found that the most helpful thing to do, as Heather stated, is to link her to mental health resources. In my case, I encouraged my mother to talk to my therapist about how my illnesses are affecting me and about how best to support me. After a family therapy session, some phone calls, and some in-person conversations, my mother can support me much better now that she has the knowledge of what is affecting me and how it is affecting me.

I'm not sure if my post will be helpful to you, but I'll just put it out there.

"Sneak away, sneak away / If the fate is too sad / You are not a flower of hell / That kind of place... / Don't become lost, don't become lost... / Or you won't be able to grasp the entangled hand / The cry also has a limit...." - Naraku no Hana

Posts: 537 | From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Chocolate cures all
Member # 96217

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Hi there techie, as a parent and survivor of depression I sympathize with you. It bites being emotionally cut off from people due to depression/anxiety, right when we need support the most.

You know how when you feel on a roller coaster? You know how your heart races and you get short of breath if something happens that scares you badly? Your brain and your body work together. Think fight or flight response. Your brain has panic, your body engages to be ready to deal with what ever has caused the panic. Those physical reactions are NOT something you can control. You CAN learn to deescalate the panic in your brain before it causes your body to go to the fight or flight response.

Both you and your Mom need to understand the biochemical aspects of depression anxiety. Go to where you can get up to date fact based info and links to support.

When people lack an understanding of the biochemical nature of mental illness, they tend to look for someone to blame. The child blames the parent, the parent blames themselves or the other parent, or something else. Everybody's pointing fingers and nobody's getting the help that works. Most Mom's blames themselves, though they may not admit it. Your Ma may need time to work through this before she can be the kind of support person you need her to be. It's not your Ma's fault, it's not your fault, it just is and it's something you've got to deal with.

Best of luck my dear, you will get through this!

Posts: 2 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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