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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Advice/Tips on Getting most of counseling/Therapy

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Author Topic: Advice/Tips on Getting most of counseling/Therapy
breath
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 50014

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Hi,

I am wondering if you / anyone here can help me out in the following scenario.

I'm in therapy. I feel like there are always 1000s of issue I can explore/look at in therapy, but I only want to focus on my career, future life and how I can remove my mental barries. Sure there are other issues to think about but I don't think that those are always worthwhile for me or not as high yielding or will take my life in the direction that I want. I don't want to spend a lot of time taking about sex or sex with a certain person or a certain person, even if I mention them in therapy.

How should I go about it? I mean should I just tell myself to not mention a fling/a person b.c I don't want to spend a whole lot of time discussing it in detail or finding some underlying meaning.

im just really frustrated [Frown]

Posts: 357 | From: US | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
breath
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 50014

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I dont want to be a in place where I have situations with peope or have sex with them, only to spend money discussing them in therapy. That 's just a big waste to me.


My question is : is it my job or responsibility to stop myself from mentioning these scenarios or people in therapy and ONLY talk about my core objectives?

I am kind of unsatisfied with how therapy is going for me right now. I feel like we spend a lot of time talking about lowyield things. Just because I mention it doesnt mean that we have to go there [Frown]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I think one thing we always have to remember in therapy is that we're not the therapist.

In other words, a qualified therapist, after they get to know us for a little while, had the training and education to have a good idea of what we might need to explore, usually a better idea than we do, because a) we don't have that training or education (when we don't) and b) we can only see ourselves and our lives subjectively.

By all means, if you're frustrated with how your therapy is going and don't under stand why your therapist is choosing the focus they are, talk to them about that.

That said, knowing you over time in the way I do, and also knowing the impact interpersonal relationships have on our lives, I can certainly see many reasons why a therapist would want to talk about those with you. I can also see some reasons why you might want to avoid some of those discussions, and if that's the case, that's usually all the more a cue we need to be talking about something in therapy.

But it's not your job to lead your therapy or to micromanage a therapist: you and a therapist are a team, a team who ideally needs to be working together.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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