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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Lost

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Author Topic: Lost
Just Ace
Member # 95560

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So, I just I'll just cut to the chase. I'm a 16 year old female and I just recently (sort of) came out of the closet as a hetero-romantic grey-demisexual. I felt actually really excited because for the first time in my life I realize my sexuality was "normal." I however soon felt kinda lost because I didn't really have anyone who I could talk to about the feeling of being trapped within my own sexuality. I thought that, because I know of no people with even a similar orientation that I might be able to find comfort in my schools GLBT support groups.

However, I was actually kicked out of the Strait Gay Alliance, and the Queer Support clubs within my school because I'm "not gay." I've been called sick, and actually been threatened. I have had several guys and girls tell me after I try sex I will love it, and when I tell them I'm not interested and don't exactly plan to try sex that they would force me to try it. I just feel kinda lost and I don't know what to do =/

I just want support. Everyone I've come out to tells me I have a hormone problem or I'm just a late bloomer, or that I'm trying to be a "special snowflake" or that I just want attention. I know for a fact I am healthy and the attacks on my self-esteem are getting to me. I'm starting hit my breaking point =/ Can ANYBODY relate to me?

Posts: 10 | From: USA - East Coast | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 41657

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These people are harassing and bullying you, so is there any way you could report them to someone you trust who works at your school?

I don't identify my orientation the way you do, but I get how frustrating it is when people think they know your orientation better than you do [Frown] Plus I think that on top of being pressuring towards you and denying your orientation, just because someone is not asexual, doesn't mean they'll love sex the first time they try it, especially if they did it to prove something or because they thought they ought to rather than because they wanted to.

Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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Just Ace
Member # 95560

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Not really, as in some of the teachers were taking part in the harassment and I would feel so weird about my principal knowing about the situation
Posts: 10 | From: USA - East Coast | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, it's all about what you feel up to, and making sure you take care of yourself, but I'd say any administrator needs to know if teachers are harassing a student for any reason, is students are threatening another student, and if a GSA isn't being inclusive.

But again, this is about you, so if you think that'll only make you feel worse and don't want to bring it to the administration's attention, it's okay not to.

I'm so sorry people have been saying the things to you they have. That all really sucks, and is seriously beyond the pale.

While all of the ace spectrum is still largely unstudied, I don't know of anything to connect it to hormone issues, and honestly, that sounds a WHOLE lot like the kind of BS people used to lob at gays and lesbians, to boot. same goes with the late bloomer stuff. I mean, for sure, sexuality is fluid, so maybe someday you won't identify this same way or experience your sexuality this way, but the same is potentially true of everyone of every orientation, for crying out loud.

I'm afraid this isn't something that relates to me personally, it's not a spectrum I've ever been on, but if you like, I can certainly give a shoutout to some other ace and ace-familiar users if you like.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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