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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Feeling out of control

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Author Topic: Feeling out of control
**headintheclouds**
Neophyte
Member # 95379

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I want to say that this website is very informative. I have reached a point where I feel like I am losing myself. I've actually felt like this for a while. I've tried talking to my mom & friends about my feelings but I feel like they don't understand. I constantly worry about something every single day. The smallest issue can lead to me feeling tense and overwhelmed. I got a full std test done in October in which everything came back negative. I also had a HIV test done in Nov which also came back negative. Around November I started dating this guy and I eventually ended the relationship about two months later because being with him just caused more stress that I didn't need. Now within the last couple of days I've convinced myself that I have a std, in particular HIV. The last time I had sex with my ex was Jan. 5th. Like always we used a condom. About a week ago, I started having cramps and a low back ache. The pain didn't start until I was in the second week of the new birth control I just started. Some how I convinced myself that I have chlamydia another STD because of the pain. Then that made me started thinking that he took the condom off at some point when we had sex. So now I'm paranoid and going to get a HIV test tomorrow but I am so scared. I hate feeling like this, it's like I'm a slave to my thoughts. Thank you for taking the time to read my long post.
Posts: 2 | From: MD | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SittingPretty12
Activist
Member # 94883

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Hi! Though I am not a Scarleteen volunteer, I can totally relate to what you are going through. Read my post a few down if you want [Smile]

I can tell you that I have been TERRIFIED of getting an HIV test about 3 times. You should feel proud that you are taking initiative toward your help. That's how I always talk myself into getting the encouragement that I need.

It's always so silly. I've gone into the testing centers so nervous and the nurses always tell me I'm low-risk and are always like, "I told you so" after they deliver the results.

You are totally not alone, I am scared to take my HIV test, too! Mine is on April 10th and I'll be sure to post the results. Keep us posted [Smile] I PROMISE you'll feel better after you take the test. The worst part is getting in there!

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xo.

Posts: 113 | From: West Coast, Best Coast | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 79774

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Hi, headintheclouds, and welcome to the Scarleteen community!

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way - it sounds pretty rough.

I hear you describing quite high anxiety levels. Just to make sure I'm understanding you correctly, the anxiety you experience, is it solely around sexual health issues, or do you experience it about other things, too?

When you had the tests done in October and November, were there specific risks that you were concerned about, or a person that you felt unsure of or didn't trust? With your recent ex, was he someone who you felt was generally trustworthy and treated you with respect? I'm asking those things because sometimes, intense worries about our sexual health can be traced back to a person, relationship or situation who/which actually isn't positive or healthy for us; in those cases, even though the health worries we have aren't always practically reasonable, they actually have a very, very sound cause - that is, we have a real reason to be concerned about our well-being.

If what you're experiencing is more to do with general anxiety, there are a range of ways that that can be approached so that it doesn't interfere in our life and happiness so much. Have you ever received any treatment, help or guidance around anxiety?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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**headintheclouds**
Neophyte
Member # 95379

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I usually have anxiety about every little thing. When I have anxiety in regards to sexual health it usually came from the fact that I guess I didn't trust my ex. FYI the test HIV test I took last Monday was negative. I was relieved but unfortunately I have found new things to stress out about. I've thought about getting help for my anxiety but then I convince myself that nothing is wrong
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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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It sounds like a lot is wrong if you keep worrying that you have something.

Just to be clear, are you currently sexually active in any way with anyone?

Is there anything particular right now that is leading you to think you have something?

Anxiety is something that can often be helped, and it's one of those things that the sooner it is dealt with the better you'll feel. What do you think about talking to a doctor about this anxiety?

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Robin

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SittingPretty12
Activist
Member # 94883

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Hey! Congrats on your HIV test being negative, I'm currently mustering up the courage to take one as well. I'm sure it was quite the weight off of your shoulders. [Smile]

Just butting in, but I too suffer from health anxiety. I find that it flares up when I am stressed out about school, family, money. It never just comes about on its own. Do you have someone you can talk to about it? I have found great support in my mother and friends about my health anxiety. They always kind of help me point out the problem and find solutions. Maybe find someone you can really trust to get your worries off your chest, I promise it will help. It can be at least a stepping stone to helping with anxiety [Smile]

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xo.

Posts: 113 | From: West Coast, Best Coast | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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