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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » I cut my wrists, I just need to talk.

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Author Topic: I cut my wrists, I just need to talk.
rachelmarie76
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Member # 64203

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Im in the seventh grade. Thirteen years of age. I used to feel depressed. A few weeks ago. Theres nothong even wrong with me though! It was over guys, teachers getting on my nerves, and my mom just annoying me. When I was younger my mom would leave me hone alne to go do drugs and then she got depressef. In fourth and fifth grade I bassicaly took care of myself.because she was sio messed up. To this day it stills hrts to tjink about her dark days. I just want to get rid of these scars. Every now and then im still tepmted to make cuts, I just wanna talk. If you have advice or jyst been there before, pkease email me at [edited for your privacy/our guidelines]

[ 05-23-2011, 09:00 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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TextItUp(:

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September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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You know, you say there was "nothing wrong with you", but it sounds like you've actually had a lot of reasons to be depressed! Having a parent who abuses drugs and being left to your own devices at such a young age would cause most people to feel really depressed.

How are you doing now? Do you have anyone who's supporting you? Friends, family, a mentor? Are you getting any professional help? If not, can we help you find a counselor?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Djuna
Activist
Member # 29269

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Absolutely, your feelings are valid. Really, in a stressful situation like this, feeling depressed is likely, normal and temporary.

As well as the sources of support Joey mentioned, a good phone hotline is:

SAFE (Self-Abuse Finally Ends) Alternative
1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)

and a good website is self-injury.net. [Smile]

[ 05-23-2011, 11:13 AM: Message edited by: patrickvienna ]

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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soprano
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I was in 7th grade when I would cut. I had issues adjusting socially from home school to public school. I only did it a couple times.

It gets easier not to do. When I felt the urge to cut I would take myself away from all possible sharp objects. Or I would go for some exercise. (Helps release endorphins!)

Also, try listening to some music to help you get things out, or try writing! All very good outlets.

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LauraBrianne
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Im not the kind of girl that tells her sob story to someone she doesnt know. I keep to myself, and don't let anyone in. So, yeah. I cut myself. I guess you could say I'm "addicted" to the pain. My family knows. I've been seeing a counselor for um, about four years. I have body checks everyday. But what they don't know is that I'm still cutting myself, but only in hard to see places like under the armpit and on my upper outside thigh where my underwear hides it. I remember the first cut I ever made and I swore it'd be the first and last time, but then I found myself obsessing over it. In class all I'd think about is where I can cut myself next. But, anyways I'll get back to the point, I just don't care anymore. If i die, then I die. I'm not going to intentionally kill myself, I'm just not afraid of death. Death is easy, life is so much harder. There are reasons for my acting this way, but I'd rather not get that personal. I know I need to stop, but I don't want to.

[ 06-10-2011, 03:00 AM: Message edited by: LauraBrianne ]

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Djuna
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Hi LauraBrianne! Welcome to the boards!

Just so you know, I don't think telling a "sob story" to someone you don't know is something to feel bad about. Our stories are an important part of who we are. [Smile]

You said that you tend to keep to yourself and not let people in - so it seems like posting here and talking about this is a pretty big step. I want to congratulate you on doing that, okay? Awesome move for yourself, right there. [Smile]

Do you feel comfortable talking about your reasons for cutting, or how you feel cutting helps?

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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invisiblecreature
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I used to cut myself a few months ago and the thing that got me to stop was talking to someone that i really liked and didnt judge me. if you dont have that in your life please find a therapist a counsler someone and if you talk to them about very personal stuff they wont tell your mom unless they think your going to do suicide. i havent cut myself in four months. i also started when i was thirteen. every time i feel like hurting myself i just draw. drawing helps me a lot and brings such joy to my life. you dont have to but if you want persue a hobbie or just do something you love to keep your mind off cutting. im happy you havent cut yourself when you are tempted to and sorry you hate your scars i do to i always wear a sweatshirt to cover mine. hopefully one day we both will get over are scars and not care what people think about them and let our family and friends know what we used to do and know that we dont do that anymore. if you ever need to talk im here.
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Djuna
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Hi there, invisiblecreature! Welcome to the boards! I'm glad that you've found someone to talk to and moved on from cutting, that's awesome stuff. [Smile]

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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OpheliaBedelia
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I was also in 7th grade when I used cutting as a way to cope with the difficulties of my life.

I think what helped me find a better way to cope were several things:
-I found a place online where I could talk to people with similar problems. We could celebrate days we managed not to cut and try to understand ourselves on days that we did.
-For a while, the act of cutting made me feel stronger in moments of weakness. But after trying to understand these processes, I was able to see that cutting was more destructive than it was helpful.
-Cutting myself turned into an addiction. I got a thrill from the release and it almost felt pleasurable to create a physical manifestation of how I was feeling. In order to mimic the rush I would get from cutting, I started pursuing more constructive creative outlets. I hid my cutting implements and instead, whenever I felt overwhelmed, I would draw, write, and work on musical endeavors. Particularly playing music really helped me feel both the catharsis I gained from cutting and a sense of transcendence that I cutting could not give me. I'm now studying to make it in the classical music world; now I can appreciate how helpful it was to pour my anxieties into the creation of something beautiful and positive.

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chabellitaa93
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It seems 7th grade can be one of the toughest years out there since I as well went through my depression stage during that year. I felt alone and like things were changing to quickly. I would not severely cut myself, but at times I would inflict other kinds of pain. The advice I could give anyone out there with this problem, is to go to a counselor or therapist. Or look for someone who you can truly feel honest and truthful. The reason I say this is because this is what I had to do. Sometimes it will feel like no one is there to help & trust me I know how that feels. But someone is always there looking out for you. To my surprise, one of my teachers was truly worried about me, so was the one who set up meetings for my with my counselor and my mom. Now I am pretty free from those feelings of loneliness have gone away, except for those sudden drops & I hope every single one of you can find a way out of this [Smile]

But now my sister is starting 7th grade and I am terribly afraid she will experience the same :/ hopefully I can be there for her! and advice?

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EmmaLiv16
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Hey there, I definitely understand your pain, I battled a year-long bid of depression and self-abuse and now I'm a leader of a counseling group for middle schoolers at my high school. I've had several people tell me similar stories about feeling depressed and inflicting pain upon themselves. And though I've never cut myself, I've used other methods (burning, choking). I always needed someone to talk to and luckily I had an older brother to help. You on the other hand have me and others on scarlteen [Smile]
I really don't know your religious viewpoints, but after my bid of depression I basically had a "coming to jesus" moment. It was the most life changing event to occur to me and I feel like my depression was meant to be for some reason. So maybe what you're going through will lead you to a revelation of some kind (not nessacarily religious) but in general. So don't look at it as an awful thing, it will help you grow and change as a person which will, in turn, lead you to bigger and better things.
Your story is one of many that I've heard and yet is still unique, just like you. Keep pulling through it and be strong: "The night is darkest before the dawn."
Good luck, and remember, there's always someone who cares.

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kiss-a-chip
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Member # 63794

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cutting seems to be alot more common than i thought it was when i cut, about 2 yrs ago. Mom sent me to a counselor because she was so worried about me. I didnt actually stop until i had someone to stop for. I still want to cut sometimes. But i kno it will upset my boyfriend so much, and i dont want to upset him, so i keep myself from doing it. I talk to him instead. Another thing my counselor told me to do is snap a rubber band on your wrist when you're stressed or watever, because u get the pain without the damage. But find someone you can talk to about what your feeling.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Just want to make sure that the OP and anyone else in the states who might need support around this knows there is a toll-free hotline for support around/help with self-injury.

That's 1-800-DONT-CUT (1-800-366-8288).

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sonrisa1
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People cut for different reasons. I have trouble with this issue as well. Typically, I feel an overwhelming surge of emotion that subsides after causing injury or pain. I have been working on this issue. Kiss-a-chips rubber band advice is good. I clench icecubes in my fists, and this also works.

I'm currently using dialectical behvior therapy to help me understand my emotional responses and learn how to deal with them in more appropriate ways. Look up some tips related to this online. It might help you too.

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Smile. :)

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ilovetheatre
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I know how you feel. I cut from 5th-the beginning of 8th grade. I was so stressed, and the pain just gave me something to focus on besides how much I hated life. I eventually started building a tolerance to pain, so I would take a rubber band and snap it over the cuts throughout the day. I even went as far as pouring lemon juice and vinegar on my cuts to make the pain worse just for a distraction.
Then, I met Luna. She was the dog I had been begging for and working for since 4th grade. I finally got my puppy in the summer before 8th grade. She made me so happy and took up my whole summer with her crazy antics and troublemaker attitude. By the end of summer, I looked at my arms, and noticed that I had no cuts on them. I had been so happy and my whole life was consumed with this beautiful puppy that I was completely distracted, happy, and hadn't felt the urge to cut once that summer. Now I'm in 9th grade, and I haven't cut since.
My beautiful Luna just died on New Year's Eve. I thought my life was over when this happened. I even was in the bathroom rummaging through pill containers to try and commit suicide, when I heard her dog-tags jingle. That small noise made me stop. I broke down on the floor and cried my eyes out. I realized that Luna was the best thing that ever happened to me, and she would never want me to harm myself or end my life. Even if it meant I could join her in heaven. I'm learning to cope with her death, and I am so thankful for her. Without Luna, I would still be harming myself, and I might even be dead.

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Saffron Raymie
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Oh ilovetheatre, I'm so sorry for your lost, it sounds like she's had a perfect and joyful life with you from start to finish. It's sounds like you were an impeccable doggy parent. You're right that she wouldn't want her best friend to be harmed and will be watching over you. I'm glad you've found a little peace in your grieving. We're always here if you would like to talk.

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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