I am justinbieberfan and I have Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism.
I was diagnosed with it when I was three years old. People will sometimes pick on me or get on my nerves just because I have autism. My classmates pick on me, call me names simply because I am autistic and have different opinions and interests than they do. It angers me every day that I have to live my life being picked on my my friend, classmates, my FAMILY even - simply because I have autism.
During sexual education at my school, my classmates picked on me even more - called me names like "man-whore" and "filthy fag", said "you don't need a condom, just keep it your pants", "just abstain", and "abstain until you're married", even lied in front of me about birth control and stuff.
Nowadays, my family wants me to stay single all the rest of my 8th grade year and the whole summer after that. They want to only allow me to have a relationship with this girl that they "know will want to go out with me": Lacey. Now, she's a wonderful young lady known throughout my town for surviving a rare heart condition called Truncus Arteriosus. But the truth is, I'm interested in other girls my age and I'll do whatever it takes to get one...
Both of these harassment episodes have caused me to have suicidal pangs. But I called the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and I was saved.
Sometimes, it feels like my thoughts have taken the back door. This causes me not to focus as well as usual, among tons of other things. In addition, random sexual fantasies have been throwing me out of whack. All these things and what I do to manage my life with autism make me who I am.
I'm justinbeiberfan, and this is my life with autism.
-------------------- ~Prince of Equestria~ Posts: 65 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Jan 2011
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Well, you're in good company here: we have plenty of users who have Asperger's.
I'm glad you felt comfortable disclosing this here.
I do want to make sure you know, though, that being autistic does NOT mean that you have to live your life with harassment at school. We have several federal policies in place here in the states to help protect people with all kinds of disability from harassment, and to address and curb it when it is. If you want some resources on that, let us know and we'd be glad to get you connected.
quote:But the truth is, I'm interested in other girls my age and I'll do whatever it takes to get one...
I'm not sure what you mean by this, but I think you already know that girls or other people aren't things to "get." However, it sounds like you and your family could certainly stand to keep talking a little more about dating, what they want and feel comfortable with, and what you do, to see if you can't find some compromise so that if and when you're interested in dating someone who is also interested in dating you, that's something you can all work together to consider as an option, okay?
(I moved this from the yay forum for a couple reasons, btw. One being that feeling suicidal isn't exactly something most people experience as happy and positive, which is what that thread is for. But I also thought you might want to talk with other users here with autism, and that your post would be more easily seen in this area.)
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 66629 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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justinbieberfan, sometimes I'm glad I have aspergers because I think it may have made me less susceptible to peer pressure when I was younger, but I'm not sure if that's really the case or not? Do you feel like having aspergers has given you a shield against just doing whatever people around you tell you to do (though obviously it doesn't stop the harrassment and bullying from hurting)?
-------------------- Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see. Posts: 840 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2008
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I was diagnosed with the same condition at the same age (though I was in an orphanage at the time).
Has it made things difficult for me? Yes, especially with social interactions. Moving to the US when English isn't my first language made it even harder. But you know what? I don't mind having Asperger's at all. Sure I have no friends (not an exaggeration) and the one I had passed away recently, but I'm determined to make some, despite the disadvantages I have. I can't look people in the eye, have trouble reading facial expressions, stare at my feet and fidget with my fingers. I've been improving at this, so that gives me hope. You're at the age where children will take anything they hear related to Autism as a negative thing (I know, this happened to me too), but that goes away in time, you just can't let it get to you.
I'd like to recommend a book. Look Me in the Eye by John Elder Robinson. It's a memoir of a man who had Aspeger's before it was discovered as a condition. He has done amazing things in the book, and it inspires me. After reading that book, I'm not ashamed of having it, in many ways, Asperger's makes us better. We can concentrate on subjects that interest us and this allows us to excel in it. For whatever reason, statistics show that we have higher grades on average than people without it, so that's not so bad either.
What I'm really trying to say is that it's not a bad thing at all to have Asperger's, we're misunderstood people. We can live normal lives if we want to, just the same as anyone else. Don't let the bullies and harassing get you down, sure it hurts, I still go through the same thing. But I don't give them the satisfaction of thinking they've won. I live knowing that they are the ones who have the real problems. It takes someone to be really depraved to harass people just for that reason. SO keep your chin up, smile, and live you life
-------------------- "Always remember this little sister, no mater where you or I go, no matter what happens to the either of us, know that I'll always be with you in your heart." - R.I.P my friend. Posts: 125 | From: Lancaster, PA | Registered: Oct 2011
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