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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Worried to tell my mom?

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Author Topic: Worried to tell my mom?
Member # 74040

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My mom is very trusting with me and I pride myself on being able to discuss my sex life with her. She and I discussed how I wanted to wait to do things with the guy I was involved with. That day, I went on a date with said guy and we did more than I thought we would. At the time, I felt okay doing what we did, but afterwards I worried about telling my mother. I couldn't share with her what we'd done, no matter how hard I tried. I'm not ashamed of what I did, but I'm worried about what my mom will say. We really didn't go too far, we made out, he fingered me, and I gave him a hand job (sort of).

If this happened to you please help, I really want to be able to talk to my mom about this but I'm afraid she'll think the worst and assume he's a bad guy now.

Help! Thanks...

Posts: 6 | From: United States | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 49582

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Is there an age difference between you and the guy?

'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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So, when you and this guy engaged in these things, was it about you finding that your feelings changed? In other words, before you went out on that date, you felt you wanted to take things more slowly, but on the date, you found you instead wanted to engage in the things that you did?

Or, was this about you having a tough time asserting what you did want, which your feelings hadn't changed about? In other words, you still wanted to wait for these things, but he initiated them and you had a hard time setting limits with him?

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 74040

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RaeRay2112, there is only a year age difference. Heather, I had originally set some boundaries with him, but at the time I felt comfortable doing more, so I did. Now I'm just afraid of explaining this to my mom and I worry she won't let us go on a date again. She's relatively rational, I'm just trying to figure out how to tell her without being insensitive about it.
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Moire O'Searcaigh
Member # 75063

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Always, always, ALWAYS tell your mother about stuff, especially if she and you have open, trusting relationships. Just bring it up alone with her. Believe me, hiding something like that does not go over well with the parents.
Posts: 17 | From: Northern Ireland | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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