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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Oh, the LDR!

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Author Topic: Oh, the LDR!
Member # 47229

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In about a month, my partner and I are set to embark into the scary territory of being in a long distance relationship. Based on our current scenario, the time apart (a year) is going to end up being a bit longer than we've been together. That said, we both think it's worth a try.

I've read a few of the back posts on this as well as the article on Scarleteen, but I would love to hear from anyone who is currently in/has survived being in a long distance relationship. Any advice? Anything that surprised you pleasantly or positively?

I know that every relationship is different, but I am somewhat of a cynic at heart, so hearing any positive stories would be incredibly encouraging!



Posts: 6 | From: CA | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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If you're asking for personal anecdotes, I've had quite a few in my life, and while sometimes it really stinks to be far away from someone you care about and want to be with in-person, LDRs have not usually been THAT big of a deal for me.

Caveat: I'm someone who likes to have a lot of time to herself, extra time for friends and creative projects, and so forth. So, for me, one of the big upsides of LDRs have been that I'm able to have that.

I'm also a creative person, so one of the ways I've made them work for me when I have had them is by doing a lot of things like making and sharing care packages, doing cross-country or cross-country creative projects together, having a lot of letter writing, etc.

Certainly, too, I've found they're easier to have than they used to be. In college, we didn't have email, not did we have flat-rate long-distance, so LDRs could tend to be both expensive and tougher to keep in communication with. But tech advances have really helped!

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 45255

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I'm also in a LDR at the moment. Currently hitting the one year mark with 10 months to go.

I won't say it's been easy. I'm one of those people who loves spending lots of in person cuddling time and so forth. But, I will say it's been enlightening. I learned to do lots of things on my own that I might not have had the opportunity to otherwise. And like Heather mentioned, I've had lots of time for myself for art, writing and other similar projects.

But all in all, having a LDR really isn't that different than in in person relationship. You still care for that other person, you still argue and resolve conflicts, you're still there for each other. I think it really teaches you a lot about the nonphysical aspects of a relationship.

If I might ask, how far are you guys going to be apart? Will occasional visits be a possibility?

Posts: 43 | From: Raleigh, NC | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 20094

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I'm in a LDR as well, and in the almost four years (yikes! when did that happen?) we've been together, we've alternated periods of very long-distance (Canada and Australia) with living together. The last time I saw my partner in person was over the Christmas holidays. I do enjoy lots of time to myself, but I'm also a very physical person, and it has been hard going without hugs, kisses, sex, snuggles, etc.

What's helped us is scheduling phone calls, so that we have something to look forward to, and lots of emails, instant messages when we can, and care packages. We're both into photography as well, so we send each other photos of what we've been up to. Honestly though, as long as you can communicate well, you can figure out what will make it work for you. Visits really help too, if those are possible.

"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5799 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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