Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Stockholm Syndrome and rape?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Stockholm Syndrome and rape?
EliotDorian
Activist
Member # 37752

Icon 9 posted      Profile for EliotDorian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Five months ago, a guy I was hooking up with penetrated me at a point where my vagina didn't feel ready, and I told him to stop but he charged ahead anyway because "you wanted it, now you have to take it and you can't tell me to stop."
I feel so awful saying this out loud, but I have felt fleeting desires to call him to try to hang out over the last five months. I've also sometimes eroticized what happened to me when I replay it in my mind. It's not like I can't see that what he did to me was reprehensible, it's not like I forgot how uncomfortable I was feeling when it was actually happening, but I've occasionally actually missed him. Is this common? For people to miss people who raped them? I know people who get out of abusive relationships love their abusive partners, but...

--------------------
"What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if no one asks to see 'em?"

Posts: 87 | From: Virginia | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
EliotDorian
Activist
Member # 37752

Icon 1 posted      Profile for EliotDorian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Clarification: I've refrained from acting on any of these thoughts. Because I realize he is not safe. Just throwing that out there.

--------------------
"What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if no one asks to see 'em?"

Posts: 87 | From: Virginia | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sometimes rape hijacks our sexuality in some ways.

In other words, because our sexuality is something that's about our whole lives and experiences, sometimes we can wind up eroticizing or being aroused by aspects of rapes or the people who raped us. It's complicated as hell, and something obviously tough to talk about and deal with, but it happens.

Too, sometimes people can tend to either fantasize about or kind of mentally rewrite our own histories. It's not atypical for survivors of a trauma of any kind to rewrite things in our heads where the situation was different than it is, like us having more control.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67933 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3