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Author Topic: Going through difficult times
cool87
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Everyone pretty much have gone or will have to go through difficult times during their life, that's an obivous thing, whether that's being diagnosed with a new disease, losing a loved one, experiencing relationships problems, difficulties at school or at work or other things which can have a big impact on our life and can leave us feeling depressed, anxious, stressed, what have you.

What are your own ways of going through those difficult times ? What have you found helps ?

[ 05-09-2009, 06:51 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
not_a_hobgoblin
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I'm in the middle of some difficult times right now- my partner's mother is becoming increasingly hostile and hurtful, and both of us are having an extremely hard time both with her behavior and the effects her behavior has on our relationship. We knew this was coming, so we actually sat down and came up with lists of things for us to do when we can't see each other:

-Email each other more.
-Take off on random daylong road trips with friends.
-Run with my dog.
-Make tea.
-Talk to our various conceptions of the divine.
-Write on stories.
-Practice my instruments.
-Go for a walk in the woods.

I haven't had a chance to put these all in play yet, but I hope they help some.

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"Cut her down."
"She is a witch!"
"But she's our witch. Cut her down."

Posts: 174 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bun Bun
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I've had two very difficult times in my life within the last five years. A couple of years ago, my mom's epilepsy got worse and she was hospitalized for testing in preparation for brain surgery. This happened just as I was pulling out of a very bad depression caused by an abusive relationship. Shortly after, my brother was arrested and in jail and under pyschiatric care for a month due to something caused by a bad reaction to depression medication. Needless to say, I've come up with some great coping mechanisms [Smile]

-If they're there, family can be a huge support. Obviously, it's not always possible and I've been incredibly lucky to have a father that while we may disagree on a lot of values, we both still value family over everything. Too, if the tough time extends to them, they are feeling the same as you and can be a great resource to talk too.

-Try to laugh, even if it's incredibly difficult. For example, we'd drive to the hospital every day to visit my mom and on the way we'd make up stupid jokes about seizures (nothing harmful, mind you. just... silly wordplays). Laughing really helps you feel optimistic, and even if you break down crying in the middle of it (hey, it's happened), you still feel much better.

-Don't bottle things up. When your friends know what's going on, it's easier for them to be more sensitive to your feelings, and not mention things that could hurt more because of the current situation. Also, you'd be surprised what a good support system they can be. Too, if you're still in school, talking to a teacher you like and trust can be a huge help. If you need to leave class or something, they'll understand.

-Drink warm drinks! Like not_a_hobgoblin, I suggest tea. There's a whole bunch out there that are incredibly soothing. If you concentrate on the warmth, smell and taste, you'll feel rejunvenated and more clear headed.

-Get lots of sleep. I find that when I'm stressed out over something, I find things that keep me up later than I should be. Not a good idea!! Sleep helps to clear and rest your mind, so you'll be better able to cope with your feelings when you wake up.

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not_a_hobgoblin
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Oh, and another thing (Bun Bun commenting on tea reminded me): ritualized behaviors help. Beyond tea being warm and soothing and rejuvenating, it's also a miniature ritual. I have to heat the water, and select a mug, and pour the tea over it... when things feel like they're falling apart/going crazy, having a stable ritualized behavior to return to can help immensely with calming down your thoughts.

--------------------
"Cut her down."
"She is a witch!"
"But she's our witch. Cut her down."

Posts: 174 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Silverwing
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I am going through some very tough times right now. I find that reading on Scarleteen has really helped me. I see so many issues here and some are similar to mine, some are worse. It makes me hopeful when people talk about their experiences and how they got over them. It makes me believe that I can too. And even if they haven't gotten over them yet, it gets me out of any silly suicidal or awful thoughts I might have because these people have it so much worse but yet they have the courage to continue.

I find helping other people with their problems really comforting as well. Or even just spending time with friends and family who really care about you. It takes the edge off of the pain.

I am also praying to God and that's comforting for me. And when I am low on strength, I repeat to myself that it'll be okay and that I'll get over it. Mostly I try not to obsess over the issue too much. Sometimes letting go and forgetting really is the cure to a lot of things. For me at least.

Posts: 53 | From: Toronto | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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