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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Too cliche for your own good.

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Author Topic: Too cliche for your own good.
The Unchosen One
Member # 42566

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I have been around this site for almost a year and I must give the biggest thumbs up to Heather-san (I'm sorry but I don't know your last name) for making this amazing site and basically helping me to know a lot about myself and the other sex.

Now here is the long part. I must apologize if it does sound like you have heard this a million times but just let me finish.

Here goes:
I have known this girl and her sister for basically my whole life (here it comes they must be saying)and for the last 2-3 years I have taken a great interest in the older sister Catheryn. I mean, not that I cant stop thinking about her but she is on my mind mind sometime and every time I think about her I absolutly know within myself that she is the one. I really do love everything about her. Her smile, the way how she has her "blond" moments sometimes even when she lets out a rare but equally funny snort when she laughs. I even love it (tho still painful) when she tells me sternly that i'm doing something wrong and i need to change.

I hope you have already figured out the gist of what i'm about to say but I have NO IDEA how to approach her on this one guys... seriously. I remember sometime last year she said that she would like not to get married because "medical students like me just won't have the time to get married" (of course this, to me was the equivalent of getting shot in the leg, but i hid the pain and pretended as if what she said had no effect on me). Also i remember that she said that she looks on me as if I am her little brother (ouch!!) she is 21 and I am 19.

I don't know how your going to understand this but I really do LOVE her and I want (even eventually) the friendly relationship we have to someday move to a little more than that, how do I tell the person that i have liked since grade school that I truly love her and NOT make it come out all creepy which btw IS my BIGGEST fear. That she will, as soon as she hears this, will just slap me in the face with a 1-ton load of rejection (which I wouldn't know how to deal with).

Even if I do let her know and she does reject me, I don't even know where to start! Iv'e been around her so long that trying to know somebody else would just be too much for me and the awkward-ness that would exist between us would be immeasurably uncomfortable. Oh my God I swear if i hear that she has a boyfriend before I get to her I would deam my life as over (overstatement).

I definitely don't want to, one day come shouting at her "I LOVE YOU!" when thing are too late AND I don't want to mess things up in any way (she would be my first girlfriend->[insert shock and awe here])

The one thing I did hear about her is that she is really insecure about herself and I was wondering how (when I/she is ready to use that to make her feel good about herself). I could just try to come on to her and she, feeling insecure would just try and shove me away.

She goes to a different university than myself but it's a 5min drive. Also i have kinda-ish-maybe gone out on a date with her but there were other people there so I don't think that counts.

I could be over-reacting to everything or I could just have a really complex situation on my hands. I just want you to know that I will as long as she is single never give up on her.

Well there it is guys... my beating heart on the table... If I wasn't clear on anything or if you want to know more details on anything just ask! I'm afraid of no question...

Also if you did read all I had to say I appreciate any help you left me and the the time it took you to read this overly cliche love story.

Posts: 4 | From: A little island in the Caribbean | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The Unchosen One
Member # 42566

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I don't need a long reply I just need some help.
Posts: 4 | From: A little island in the Caribbean | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

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Sorry this sat.

I think jumping from a friendship to a serious, committed relationship (which it sounds like you want) can be next to impossible, but gradually transitioning is completely doable.

Why not try to spend a little more time with her, preferably one-on-one so you can talk to her and see how she feels? When I say talk to her, I don't mean pour your heart out -- declarations of undying love are a bit much at first. Instead start off smaller, perhaps by asking her on a proper date.

I hope everything works out well for you.

“I would have girls regard themselves not as adjectives but as nouns.” --Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The Unchosen One
Member # 42566

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Well i was just waiting to see if anybody else had any more info or advice. Thank for the help! I'll post back here in the future~ *insert 50's alien SFX here* and let you know.
Posts: 4 | From: A little island in the Caribbean | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 43709

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Me and my boyfriend, it seemed, started out as just friends. To be honest I had several guys to "pick from" at the time, and he wasn't at the top of the list. However, it was summer and he lived on my street, so I saw him a lot. We grew closer one day when one of his friends assumed we were together and kept making comments about how cute we were--so I started thinking of us as together, and liked it okay. I did like him since I saw him, but I hadn't imagined at all that our relationship would grow to what it is now, 3 years later. As it turns out, we both liked each other from the beginning and never said anything direct about it, and sort of gradually ended up together over the course of a whole summer. We officially started dating in October.

All I'm saying is that you never know what's going on inside people's heads, even your own, and also that things turn out all sorts of ways you wouldn't expect. Hang in there.

Posts: 87 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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