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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Just been diagnosed with genital Herpes

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Author Topic: Just been diagnosed with genital Herpes
525cem
Neophyte
Member # 50853

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Im only 19 and earlier today i got diagnosed with genital herpes...
I dont know who it cam from or when i contracted it.I'm scared, im embarrasses, i cant tell my family and i cant tell my friends.I honestly feel like i dont even want live any more..whose gonna wanna marry me?..who gonna wanna even be with me?..im never gonna be able to have kids the normal way..
i just feel like my life is over at this point, i just keep thinking about how i have to carry this FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!
and its sucks even worse that i cant talk about it.all i wanna do is cry.i feel so ashamed and dirty.

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Jaded

Posts: 3 | From: texasss | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Why don't you start with this link, okay: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/i_feel_dirty_and_irresponsible_because_of_genital_herpes

It's really going to be okay, I promise. HSV is nothing close to a death sentence, it's a very common virus many, many people have, and for most people, it does not have to have a major impact on your life, and will not radically interfere with things like finding a partner or having children.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Captain Girl
Activist
Member # 60279

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I'm offering anecdotes in the hope that they help you feel better:

I have two friends who have told me that they have genital herpes. One told me because she got it from an ex-boyfriend of mine, and she wanted to make sure I knew I had potentially been exposed. One is just generally open about her health among her friends. (I am certain that I know other people with herpes, who haven't felt the need to talk to me about it. That's fine. You do not have to share health information with all and sundry.)

One of these friends is unmarried and happy that way. She has two boyfriends who adore her, and are happy to share in her life on her terms.

The other one is married. She has four children, all of whom were born vaginally, three of them at home. If this woman were to have an active herpes outbreak when she went into labor, she would certainly opt for a c-section, but thus far it has not been an issue, and she can take anti-viral medication during late pregnancy to help reduce the chances of an outbreak.

(Tangential to this, I will add that c-sections aren't the end of the world either. I've had one vaginal and one surgical delivery. They were very different, but neither one was better and neither was worse.)

Posts: 129 | From: Boston | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
525cem
Neophyte
Member # 50853

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I just feel like IF i ever get married then me and my husband will have to use condomns for he rest of our lifes..because i would never want to put him at rish on contracting it.And i honestly feel like NO ONE is going to even want to be in a relationship with me because of me.And i dont think i will ever have sex again anyway..it's way too wierd i dont want anyone touching me "down there" i feel SO nasty.im just so disappointed in myself.this all could have been avoided=(

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Jaded

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Captain Girl
Activist
Member # 60279

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525, I think it's early to say what you're going to want for the rest of your life. Hang in. There will be a time in your life that is very different from today.

It may be worth talking to a doctor or social worker or therapist about the way you feel right now. I think you're experiencing a pretty common set of reactions, but they're a very unpleasant set. Someone who has talked to more people who have this virus may be able to help you get past them, and get a more grounded perspective.

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eryn_smiles
Peer Ambassador
Member # 35643

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525cem, sounds like you're being VERY hard on yourself. Genital herpes is a really common illness and many people with it are in happy relationships. You say that this all could have been avoided, but that is pretty difficult as many people don't even know that they have STI's and condoms don't provide 100% protection from herpes. Beyond choosing not to have sex with other people, I'm not sure how it could be completely avoided.

As Captain Girl mentioned, it can be good to talk with someone like a doctor or sexual health nurse. There are also discussion forums online for people with herpes, if you are interested.

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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