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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » alcohol.....i want to not want it

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Author Topic: alcohol.....i want to not want it
Member # 30279

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Ok, so heres the deal:

My boyfriends dad died a year ago from alcoholism and I know that HAS to be hard. Before we started goin out I would drink whenever I could get my hands on it. I loved it. But when we got together he told me that alcohol, drugs, and cheating were the only things that could break us up. Of course I had no problem with the third one, but the first two are really challenging me. I have cravings everyday for alcohol. Sometimes it gets so bad I can taste it, like right now. I want to talk to him about it cause he is the closest person to me, but if I do hes reminded of his dad and I dont want to do that. The hold it has on me is sometimes overwhelming and I start to cry cause I want it so bad. But then I remember the whole reason I quit in the first place is for the one I love. That takes some of the pain away but the rest is still there. I told him Id stop and I havent done it in a year, so why am I still craving it so bad? Ive seen what it can do. My parents are divorcing because of it...yet I still want it...has anyone been in a similar situation? And if so what should I do?

Posts: 22 | From: Athens, TX | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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How about you ask your partner to go with you to an AA meeting, or a partners of alchoholics meeting?

Anyone who has been around alchoholism KNOWS that this is how things go, that alcoholics DO have cravings this intense. So, there's no reason to hide these feelings from a partner this close to alcoholism.

I think your partner would likely see meetings as a very positive step, and be really quite touched you'd ask him to go with you, to boot. Both of you likely need that sort of support; it would likely be a help to you both.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29269

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Also, when you actually have a craving, try meditation. I seem to recommend this for everything. [Roll Eyes]
Honestly though, it's a really good way to relax and clear your mind of anything that's bothering you (a craving, for example).
Just put some relaxing music (with or without lyrics) on, and lie down where you're comfortable. If there are lyrics, sing along. It's important to try to visualize the music, if that makes sense. Like if this is the soundtrack, what's the picture? Try not to just picture the song's video though. For this reason, it may be a good idea to use classical music, like a piano CD.
Alternatively (if that doesn't work or if you can't lie down because you're on the train, for example,) try visualizing the place you've been happiest. Recall everything, not just the view but the warmth of the breeze and the smell of the grass too. Or cold gales and the aroma of dung if that helps you. [Wink]
I really hope this helps. The AA meetings are a really good idea, this is more useful actually when you have a craving.

“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mr. Matthew
Member # 29890

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I've known a lot of alcoholics. I know several who, after years of terrible cravings and bouts of drunkenness, started going to AA and haven't touched a drop since. They still call themselves alcoholics.

I knew a man who was on again off again until one night he drank himself to death.

I know another man who was pronounced dead three times from alcohol poisoning, but the hospital revived him. Finally he went to AA and stopped, and some years later he gave up smoking. Now he has a wonderful family.

Miz Scarlet is absolutely right: Anyone who has been around alchoholism KNOWS that this is how things go, that alcoholics DO have cravings this intense. She is also right that you need support from those who have been there. I've seen AA be very effective for people like yourself. People who are smart enough to ask for help.

Posts: 220 | From: Massachusetts, USA | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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