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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Surgery

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Author Topic: Surgery
nixieGurl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 19081

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Hey,

Well I went to my Gyn and surgery is set for the 28th of august, they think there is a cyst on my ovary and I also have to have the endometriosis taken out, and they are going to put this thing in my uterus called a Mirena. Anyone heard of that? Its to stop my endo growing more and make me more comfortable. But I have to read up on it a bit.

Anyway, I called my mum, asked her if she would come with me to the surgery. I thought she would want to know cause she has endo too. She said she didnt want to see me at all and no she will not come. I was hoping this would make her come around a little. But I guess not. I will ahve to find someone to go with me, at the moment I cant think of anyone who will. Im kinda scared. I wish my mum would come, or my boyfriend, even a friend. Things are tough right now, and its not getting any easier. Im really hurt that my mum wont come. But i guess there is not much I can do.

Posts: 657 | From: NZ | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I'm running out the door, but Mirena is an IUD, nixie, and one generally found to be very comfortable and effective for most women.

You just HAVE to make sure you are NOT having unprotected sex with it per what STI risks can do, and have to be sure you don't have any existing STIs. Given the recent assaults, be SURE your GYN knows about them and knows you need a full STI screening FIRST.

I'm so sorry about the timing of this. [Frown]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nixieGurl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 19081

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Thanks Miz Scarlet,

I am not sure if I really want this surgery at the moment. Recovering from surgery is usually hard, but this is a bigger one, and Im doing it alone this time. Im scared, I guess. But if I dont have it now, I will regret it when the pain never goes away. It is so draining being in pain physically everyday and then emotionally on top of it, I feel exhausted from it all the time. So I guess if I can fix one of those this way, then I will just have to go through with it.

I had the STI screenings when my counselor took me to get checked out before we made the report. I was clean, thank goodness. So I dont need to worry about me. And I dont think I will be with anyone else for a little while.

I have had enough of all this crap going on [Frown] My friends still have not come around, or my boyfriend. I dont know if they will. I feel so dirty. And stupid, they are right in a way, it is my fault for letting it happen for such a long time, and my friend said I must have been acting in a way that sent him the wrong messages. I cant remember doing that though, Im so confused, it all started when I was young and I cant remember saying anything or doing anything like that, but maybe I did? I am so stupid.

I really am trying to get through this. Its just so hard, I havnt even had anyone to talk to for days, except for my counselor. Its not the same. No matter how hard I try I screw everything up.

Posts: 657 | From: NZ | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wobblyheadedjane
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 11569

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Nixie, these folks are not being your friends right now, at all. I know it's hard to completely discount people whom you've relied on, and cared for but what they're saying is false, false, false. People do not get sexually assaulted because of anything they did themselves; the rapists are the ones responsible for their actions. Your friends are making you doubt yourself, and are hurting you all over again. It's incredibly unfortunate that they're not seeing the irony of accusing you of waiting too long to report your assailant, but on the other hand, making the exact fuss that makes it hard for people to report their rapists. They are not right in saying these things. Again, I know it's hard when you feel so alone, but you really need to cut these people out of your life right now if they're making things harder on you. Friends support you, make the burden lighter. They are not being your friends.

Furthermore, you are not stupid. We believe you; your counselor believes you; if you were to attend one of the group support meetings, they would believe you. There's so little guidance in society for the appropriate way to act and feel after assault. I know you said before you're not ready for group support yet, but maybe your counselor can see about hooking you up one-on-one with another survivor to befriend you during the rough times. It might be worth it to have the kindness and support of a live person who's been where you've been to help you out.

I'm gone for the week, but there are plenty of people here to help you out and support you. You're a smart, wonderful, strong person and everyone here can see that in you. I know things are really hard right now, but you do have people who want to help you through it.

Take care of yourself - lots of vibes and strength coming at you from my end!

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Unlucky at cards; lucky at love.

Posts: 1679 | From: London, ON | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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