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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » IS THERE HOPE FOR ME?

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Author Topic: IS THERE HOPE FOR ME?
mature18
Neophyte
Member # 46681

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WHEN I WAS A CHILD(5-7) I WAS MESSED WITH BY ANOTHER YOUNG BOY AROUND MY AGE(CLOSE RELATIVE 8-10). HE HAD ME THINKING IT WAS OK TO DO AND FOR MY MOM NEVER FOUND OUT BECUZ I NEVER TOLD HER. WE MESSED WITH EACH OTHER UNTIL HE WAS ABOUT 15 THEN AND I WAS LIKE 12. THEN HE STARTED SLEEPING WITH GIRLS AND HE HAS BEEN EVER SINCE. WHEN I RECENTLY TRIED LOSING MY VIRGINITY TO A GIRL I COULDNT KEEP IT UP. HOW COME HE CAN SLEEP WITH GIRLS WITH NO PROBLEM AND I CANT...

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MM

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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One girl can't represent all girls. Your experience not working out for you for that girl could have been about you and that girl specifically, about nerves, about any number of things.

What it's likely not about is your childhood and pre-teen sexual experimentation.

Please also understand that a lot of people have had same-sex childhood sexual experimentation, and that may or may not have anything to do with your sexual orientation. In other words, if it turned out that that guy had sexual feelings for girls and you had sexual feelings for men, that likely would have been the case even if you two had not done that. Understand?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mature18
Neophyte
Member # 46681

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YEA BUT NOW I FEEL LIKE IF I GET INVOLVED WITH ANOTHER GIRL THE PROBLEM MIGHT HAPPEN AGAIN...BUT THANK U THAT DOES MAKE SENSE

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MM

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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(Can you drop your caps, please? It's hard to read, and all caps on the 'net is interpreted as yelling.)

Well, that problem might happen again: just like women don't always get fully aroused or get aroused but them lose that feeling, or women's bodies don't always respond sexually as they'd like, the same can happen with men.

With this last girl you were sexual with, did you feel ready for that? Did you feel very comfortable with her before you did that? Did you have strong feelings about her? was this about trying to connect with her sexually and emotionally?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mature18
Neophyte
Member # 46681

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(sorry about the caps I wasnt yelling)

And I did feel comfortable with her and I have known her for 5 years but she has changed ever since she went to college so maybe I wasnt attracted to her. I was thinking about the situation too much also. But thank you for da info I feel better now that I know it is common

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MM

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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So, at the time you had the sex, you hadn't seen each other for a while, hadn't been building up to that, in-person, in your relationship?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mature18
Neophyte
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yea we hadnt seen each other for a few months. and we were building up to it just never got that far because of time

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MM

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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So, what might have happened is that you two rushed into something you were not actually ready for, and didn't have the skills and tools to be doing together yet.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mature18
Neophyte
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oh ok. I had few people tell me that maybe i was just tired or its not meant for me to be with her

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MM

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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And either of those things could very well be so.

Here's a piece that might help you some more with this: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/upstairs_downstairs

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mature18
Neophyte
Member # 46681

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ok thank you once again. I really appreciate it

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MM

Posts: 6 | From: Missouri | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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