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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Left behind

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Author Topic: Left behind
Mandy26
Neophyte
Member # 11636

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Hey everyone!
My boyfriend and i have been going out for more then 3 years. Hes 18 and just left yesturday for college ( 4 hours away). Im a year younger so i still have a year of highschool left. I love him so much, hes is my best friend, and the only person who i ever want to talk to or hang out with. We decided that we are going to stay together. but saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing i have ever done, and ive cried more in these past 2 days then ive ever cried. I dont no how to deal with him being so far away from me, and not seeing him for so long, and him having a different life that i am not a part of. I just really dont no how to deal with all of this. If anyone has any advice or similar experiences it would be great to here from you. I just want to be happy.
Thanks!!
-Mandy

Posts: 9 | From: NJ | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, for starters, it'd be a good thing to increase your social circle.

Even when a partner IS present, having them be your WHOLE life, the only person you want to hang out with, generally isn't healthy for you OR the quality and longevity of your relationship. And part of sharing your life with someone is having a life to share to begin with, which includes aspects in which they may sometimes be part of, but which are about you, not them: goals, your work, your hobbies, your friends and family, your own endeavors.

So, why not get started on those things? Not only are they essential in the first place, they're a fine way to get more comfortable with this separation, and to understand that in adult relationships, it's normal for both partners to have different lives which they share, rather than monopolize or live all siamese-twin-like.

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Heather Corinna
Editor & Founder
ST homepage • ST blog • about Heather & Scarleteen


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MadLittleGirl
Neophyte
Member # 25213

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I know what you are feeling. that every time you think about him you cry and you don't want to go anywhere cause you might miss his call. When you hear his voice it makes your day and you don't want to hang up. What made me feel better was I told him how much I was crying and I cried as I told him how much I missed him. It made me feel better but you also need to go out with some friends and talk to other people if you just put your life into hearing from him you are going to get sick. It will be ok.

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As you get older life gets harder


Posts: 22 | From: Somewhere in Tx | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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