hi, i'm a 17 yr old girl, you can call me A because i don't feel comfortable giving out my name.
this past saturday night, i lied to my parents, telling them i was sleeping at my friends house, when i was really at a co-ed overnight party at my guy friend, R's, house. a bunch of our friends were there, but only 3 of us slept over. me, R (obviously because it was his house), my guy friend D, and my girl friend K. D, R, and i had a lot to drink. K doesn't drink so she was the sober one in the house. after a few hours of drinking, we went upstaris, around 2am, to go to bed. i wento grab my cell phone in R's bedroom, and passed out on his bed before i got the chance to go to where i was going to sleep. when i woke up, R was kissing my neck, touching my breasts, pulling down my pants and underwear, telling me he was going to "stick his dick in me and i couldn't do anything to stop him", i was waking up, so i couldnt really move, but i managed to turn myself over so he couldn't do that to me. but, he kept fondling me, pulled down my pants and touched my genital area. once i finally realized what was going on, i jumped out of his bed, screamed, and ran to my other friends that were there. D and K locked R in his room while the tended to me because iw as crying hysterically. they went to talk to him and apparently he had so much to drink that the only think he remembers in crawling into bed and seeing me laying there and then he remembers me screaming. he doesnt remember violating me at all.
since then (3 days) i havent been able to think about anything else. he's making me feel so guilty for being angry with him because he 'doesnt remember' and 'i shouldnt blame him because he was very drunk'. he skipped half of school today to see a shrink because he knows he needs help....but im wondering what i should do? i cant stop thinking about it. i can feel his breath on my neck... i can feel his hands on me... i can hear his words....but it wasnt R in that room that night. it was the horrible man he became under the influence of alcohol.... i just don;t know what to do. please, help me.
While alcohol loosens inhibitions, it is no excuse for sexual assault, which is what happenened to you. You need to tell an adult. The least stressful way about it (if there is a least stressful way) is to go to your nearest ER and tell them what happenened. They can check you over and notify the criminal authorities.
You used questionable judgement in lying to your parents and getting drunk, but this in no way excuses the behavior of the one who assaulted you. You are not the one at fault here.
If you would tell us where you live, we could direct you to a rape crisis centre in your area.
------------------ I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
[This message has been edited by Bobolink (edited 06-06-2005).]
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