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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » finally over it

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Author Topic: finally over it
ilovemysoldier
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Member # 23042

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Hi everyone!-

I just recently came out and told a few of my closest friends (and my mother) my deepest darkest secret that I've been keeping for almost 5 years now. The summer of my 7th grade year (I just turned 13) I was sexually assulted and almost raped by my older cousin. It was probably the most difficult thing I've ever done, but I finally decided to tell my mom one night.

I think I'm finally over the whole situation and am able to move on. The thing is, I'll be turning 18 next month and I've never gone to see a gyno. When my mom took me to get birth control almost a year ago, I almost broke down because there was a possibility of me having to "get checked". I was shaking horribly and in tears. My mom, at the time, didn't know what had happened with my cousin so she didn't understand why I was so nervous about the doctor.

Anyways, now I feel it's time for me to go to the doctor just to make sure everything is normal. I'm just afraid that if I go, I might freak out again. I'm pretty sure I've gotten over my past but there is a part of me that still isn't sure. What do you think I could do? I really want to make sure that everything is healthy before it's too late. Thanks so much!

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"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all of its pupils."

"Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved."


Posts: 23 | From: Wisconsin, USA | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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Member # 568

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you can have a talk ahead of time with your doctor. say you were molested and you have some issue. your doctor will be very understanding and try his/her best to assuage your concerns.

read Your First Gynecologist Visit for more info.

And have you considered seeking some counseling? It's great that you were able to open up to your mom and get some support for what happened, but a trained professional can help you work through the emotional issues that you may still have.

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LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ilovemysoldier
Neophyte
Member # 23042

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Thanks for replying!

My mom suggested that I go and see a psychologist, but I don't think I can. I have a very hard time trusting people, especially after what happened. I don't think I would be able to talk about something like that with a complete stranger.

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"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all of its pupils."

"Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved."


Posts: 23 | From: Wisconsin, USA | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
dailicious
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It may be a good idea to look into counseling, because a good relationship with a counselor or psychologist is something that can really help you in the long run, but more importantly is something that you should be able to build over a long time.

It's very easy to run into bad counselors and people you can't trust, but finding a good counselor who you can build a relationship with can be a wonderful thing.

I definitely know how it feels to be thrust into counseling you don't want or aren't ready for, especially if the issue at hand is brought up first thing and it isn't something you're comfortable about talking with strangers to.

Maybe, though, you could look into meeting some counelors and having a couple sessions, and make it clear with your mom that you don't want to bring what happened to you up until you are comfortable telling the counselor yourself, if you reach that point.


Posts: 3382 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wobblyheadedjane
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One of the comforting things I found about seeing a therapist was that to me, a stranger was someone who didn't have a vested interest in what I was telling them - in a sense, I found her innately trustworthy because she's there to help me, as her job, and only me. For the one or two hours I was speaking with her, she was focusing on helping me, and that was very soothing.

Luckily, you don't have to be ready right away to trust someone - as far as I know, a therapist won't immediately thrust you into the things you're not comfortable with right away. You can build a rapport, and if for whatever reason it's not working (and that's okay!) you can try and find someone you do connect with.


Posts: 1679 | From: London, ON | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ilovemysoldier
Neophyte
Member # 23042

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Okay...so if I did decide to go to the gyno, would it be wise to wait until I'm 18 or just go as soon as I can? If I didn't tell them about my past, would they be able to tell anyway?

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"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all of its pupils."

"Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved."


Posts: 23 | From: Wisconsin, USA | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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Go now, you don't need to be 18. you just need to be female and at least in puberty. And be upfront about the things that have happened to you. It is super important to always be 110% honest with your doctor. not tell the truth and the whole truth can lead to misdiagnoses and at the worst can lead your doctor to make potentially injurious or fatal errors. Your doctor needs to be someone you can trust because you are going to have to tell them a lot of stuff.

------------------
LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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