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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » had an abortion? (Page 1)

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Author Topic: had an abortion?
dotta
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im going to have an abortion and i seriously feel like $hit about it. I don't want to kill this thing in me but I know an 18 year old in college is not able to. Is there anyone that can help me out and give me some advice or something!?!?!? pleeeaze
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LilBlueSmurf
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I personally don't have any experience with abortion.

We have an article here that i think you'll find helpful.

Good luck *hugs*


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christinejones
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dear dotta
i have had an abortion and if you wish to know anything please feel free to ask me.
however, i didn't have the option of a clinical abortion so i took a pill called the ru 487 (or something similar) which brings on a miscarriage so i am not sure whether i could help or advise you with any details of aftercare in the case of a clinical abortion.

don't be afraid to ask at the clinic you go to (i must have phoned up my clinic about sixty times afterwards with worries and questions and they were always lovely and reassuring and didn't get annoyed with me hassling them every five minutes).

in my case the bleeding went on for at least at week but with the clinical procedure i expect it should be a lot less than that. i didn't find it painful. cramping is all that happened to me and it didn't hurt.
i was just scared because i imagined the worst - i didn't want to haemmorage i wasn't sure what was normal, or if i was making myself infertile or what should be happening at a given time.
i was absolutely certain, by the way, that i did NOT want the baby this was not only a logical decision more an emotional one --- i did not want it; i was shocked i was pregnant and the moment i found out i KNEW i didn't want it and i don't regret it at all (i regret getting pregnant). that hasn't changed for me and i do think it is important to go with your 'gut' feeling. lots of love to you - i know it is a tough thing to go through and i spent almost all of my time in tears as soon as i found out until the termination.


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dotta
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so i had mine!! december 2, 2004....im surprised that i went through with it being the scared little **** that i am. but theres nothing that scares me more than someone calling me mommy. When they did the ultrasound i found out i was 6 weeks pregnant and that kinda killed a piece of me to know that something that has been living in me for 6 weeks and is going to die in afew minutes, but the way you felt is totally how i felt!!!! even still the first day afterward i am still kinda emotional but idk...did the termination have any effect on your relationship with your significant other? bc i have a feeling somethings going to happen for the worst with my boyfriend and i. i didnt take the pill and had the surgical which didnt hurt at all! (too drugged up to feel) but i did throw up a few times right after. They told me that i cant wear tampons and to wear pads till the bleeding stops but i havent had too much bleeding and i hate pads! i feel like im wearing a diaper.
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dotta
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christinejones how did the pill work out for you...ive heard so many horror stories and it and scared me so much that i had surgical... we should have a forum about abortion!
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christinejones
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hi dotta - the pill worked fine for me. i would much have prefered the clinical abortion just because it is a surgical procedure and much more is known about it, it is more common etc. etc.
but initially i was referred to a clinic run by Dr Josepha ****** but she was away on a conference for another five days and i just couldn't wait so i was referred to a different clinic where they only offered the pill (although if that went wrong somehow then they would do a surgical - but they didn't offer they surgical straight off). i think there are some walk-in clinics but i didn't want to go somewhere unpleasant/dirty/i don't know.

also it was very early on - just a few weeks and with the surgical they suggest you wait until after five weeks because up to that time the collection of cells is no bigger than a grain of rice and it is possible to miss it in the D&C apparently so the pill is better...
at least that is what i was told (personally i don't know anything so i just accepted what they said).
the main thing for me was they would do it the next day.

re. the procedure it was fine... you take a pill orally the first day; the next day you get a vaginal suppository and a couple of hours after that you start to get cramps and miscarry.
afterwards you bleed a LOT - really a lot and pass big clots too. and you continue bleeding for a week at least until it finally stops. the only thing i don't know is how it has affected me physically long-term (my periods are MUCH lighter now and i don't know why... maybe i'll go back to the doctor and ask).

then you go back later for a check-up and a sonogram to make sure everything is fine and that's it.

re. the pads - i found 'always' to be much thinner and more comfy than any other type. i would definitely recommend those!

about your boyfriend - i can't answer because we were splitting up (very acrimonously) and i had to deal with someone shouting badly down the phone at me but somehow everything i was going thru helped me put it more in perspective and instead of being upset and shouting back --- i just let him shout until he was finished i didn't care.

i'm glad you're feeling fine about it - i still do and when i look at babies in the street all i can think still now is relief!!!!!

all the best to ya. cj


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dotta
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i was actually scared when i started bleeding so much knowing that it was from the abortion. Just paranoid that they messed up or something, but things seem to be going well. I'm taking my perscription to prevent bacterial infections and everything, but i want the bleeding to stop. christine how long ago did you get your abortion? I have noticed ever since I got pregnant my boobs have gotten soooo much bigger!! hahaha all that milk. i like em....did that happen to you? and did they stay like that?
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christinejones
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hello dotta
i have terrible boobs!!! they kind of grew downwards so although they are quite big anyway they're saggy and i didn't notice them getting any bigger but i was really quick to have the termination and maybe the hormones in the ru487 stopped all of that side of things too???
no the sole difference ii have noticed is my period is much, much lighter - that's it. i am glad you are feeling better and sure that your bleeding will have stopped by now - have you already been for your post check-up? all the best to you.

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dotta
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my check up is three weeks and ive had my abortion on december 2nd so i need to make an appointment. well its been about 17 days since so i need to make my appointment...but im still bleeding and its realllll anoyingggggg especially after two weeks...its llike a nonending period!!!! i hate it...but ya know ....its my consequences!! i also gained like 10 lbs. while i was pregnant. probably bc i was depressed about the whole thing but **** i got some big *** titties!! haha ever since i had my **** i never realized how sweet boobs where!!! haha ..sorry kinda intoxicated
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Heather
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(Just FYI? Six weeks of pregnancy does NOT cause breast changes. Milk production also does not begin even close to that early.)
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Heather
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And dotta, two weeks of solid or heavy bleeding is actually NOT typcal after a surgical abortion. So I'd suggest you get in that office ASAP.

For the record, drinking while healing from ANY sort of surgical procedure is not a smart thing to do, and some of the excessive bleeding may be because of the effects alchohol has in the body if you have been doing this routinely.

[Note: This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet]


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dotta
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the paper they gave me afterwards says that "light bleeding may continue for 3 weeks". but im about due so im gonna go in and get it checked out. What would you suggest the bleeding pattern to be?
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glitter695
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On the Planned Parent Hood Site this is the information i got:

quote:
Will I bleed for a long time?

You may bleed off and on for a couple of weeks. Some women have cramps and pass a few large blood clots for up to 10 days. Use sanitary pads — not tampons.

When will I get my period?

Abortion begins a new menstrual cycle. You should have a regular period in four to eight weeks.




I would make an appointment to go see your doctor if you are bleeding longer than they say you should be.

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[This message has been edited by glitter695 (edited 12-22-2004).]


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dotta
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thanks glitter! i appreciate the info.
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nikkibeei1185
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i had an abortion almost a week ago, when they did the ultrasound they said it was so tiny that they could hardly see it and i might want to wait to make sure they got everything, but i did it anyway because i wanted to get it over with and so did my boyfriend, now im scared its not complete and i will have to go through all that again. does anyone know how long i have to wait to take a pregnancy test to make sure im not still pregnant
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nikkibeei1185
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also, miz scarlet, the clinic told me that 2 weeks of bleeding after surgical abortion is COMPLETELY normal, some bleed for up to three...also, 6 weeks of pregnancy certainly DOES cause breast changes, mine grew a whole cup size and were very sore and felt heavy and i was only 5-6 weeks... in fact it is well known that changes in breast size and feeling is one of the first early signs of pregnancy
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Heather
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Heavy bleeding for 2-3 weeks may NOT be normal and always SHOULD be reported. Eve if it does turn out to be okay, that's just something to be cautious about. Spotting, on the other hand, or on and off bleeding akin to a light period, sometimes with clots, should however be expected.

But very heavy bleeding is something that really shouldn't last more than a few days, and you want to get on that if it does, because it could be a signal of a complcation or even a miscarriage due to an incomplete procedure.

Substantial breast changes really don't occur THAT early. Bear in mind that's it's normal for plenty of women to have breasts that change by a cup size just during their normal menstrual cycles.

Some tenderness can occur, but that's usually about it in very early pregnancy. Since milk production doesn't even begin until the second trimester big changes can't happen that soon. However, in adolescence very subtle changes may appear more marked, and to boot, typical adolsecent breast changes may simply be happening concurrently with a pregnancy or be boosted by the hormonal changes (unfortunately, most data on pregnancy is compiled together, without showing possible differences between adults and adolescents). But no, massive breat size changes are unlikely in the first few weeks of pregnancy from pregnancy alone because glandular growth that causes substantial breast changes in pregnancy does not and cannot begin that early. Feel free to check in with your OB/GYN about it, or standard OB/GYN texts if you like.

(Please remember folks, that we don't pull this stuff out of thin air, or glean the information we post here as staff from one personal incident, one single book or one clinic or doctor, but on a wide variety of sources, and in my case, many years of work doing sex ed. I assure you, our primary interest is in being as sure as possible that the information we give y'all is as accurate as can be: that's the only reason we have this place here, after all. None of our staff here should give a fig about being in the right or being a big expert: it's about making sure the information is current, accurate and as comprehensive as possible.)

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 12-27-2004).]


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dotta
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when i go back for my 3 week check up, what exactly are they going to do? What if they tell me somethings wrong? What if it's worse?Sorry, still a lil' nervous & this isn't over yet. I'm still wearing pads!!!! GROSS.

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christinejones
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hello dotta
i don't know if they do different for the surgical but the check up i had was simple --- as far as i remember you have to go pee then they just took the ultrasound/sonogram wand thing and stick it up you it doesn't matter if you are still bleeding (i was too as i went in earlier than you) and i was embarrassed to get blood on the bed and on the condom thing over the wand but they must be used to it. they look to see that everything is fine - that there are no large clots left that everything has cleared out and there is no infection or anything to worry about and that is pretty much it. (i ate loads of raw garlic aswell because i heard that that helps to stave off infection too - certainly worked as an indirect contraceptive method at least??!!!)

for nikki i reckon if you have any queries or are worried you are perfectly justified in asking them (i phoned my clinic all the time i was so stressed and they were lovely - they didn't mind at all) so asking for them to give you an extra sonogram or an early one to put your mind at rest seems fine to me.

although i am sorry i don't know the answer to your question about when the pregnancy test would be accurate again. i know everyone hates to be a 'bother' but i genuinely don't think the doctors/clinics mind --- i couldn't have been more of a pain in the neck but even so when i came to pay my bill and the doctor realized i wasn't using health insurance he grabbed the bill out of the receptionists hand and put a line through the $800+ amount and wrote $200 --- so it is not as if he was cross or pissed at me for being anxious and speaking with him all the time.

i would phone them - i am sure they will be able to put your mind at rest because although they likely have to mention the possibility of 'missing' the cells i expect it is incredibly rare that they do --- others here i am sure can be of more help but don't worry too much everyone probably goes through the same anxiety until it is all over.


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Heather
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(Nice post, Christine!)
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BabyGirl205
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how far along are you? if you are not father than 3 or 4 months than really your not killing the baby because it really isnt a baby yet so yeah.

if you are father than you know its better to just not have the baby if your not going to care for it as if you were to have a baby that you wanted.

hope i help


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wobblyheadedjane
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Baby, since Scarleteen is a pro-choice site, we're really not too fond of users telling people what's 'better' for them or not, especially given the abortion in question has already occurred. Please try and read posts more carefully before responding.

Have you seen the New to Scarleteen? thread? It might be a good place to get started.


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BabyGirl205
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sorry i was just trting to help and if it doesnt help now then maybe it will help in future prefrence........MY BAD!!!!!!! :O
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dotta
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so im bleeding definatly more than normal....after everytime i peed ,the toilet was an orangish red bc of the blood! im scared. the bleeding has been pretty light compared to today!
/\/\/\/\fReaKiNG oUT/\/\/\/\/\

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glitter695
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MAKE AN APPOINTMENT TO SEE THE GYNO-TOMMORROW!

We are not doctors, but I think its time that you go see one. You have been complaining about bleeding for awhile now. I think thats its smart to make an appointment now.

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[This message has been edited by glitter695 (edited 12-29-2004).]


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dotta
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this can't be happening to me! geez. what next?! you guys are great because i can't really talk to just anyone about this stuff. ya know, but i guess its time to get checked out....
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glitter695
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That's why we are here. I'm glad we can be of some help to you. Good luck!

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Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable


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dotta
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right after the abortion the bleedng was liight and now its clottng and bleeding more. what could be to cause?/? what's happeneninig to me?
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Heather
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Dotta:

Call your clinic.

Aftercare and question answers are PART of the service you paid for. Smome clotting is normal post-abortion, but WE do not have your medical records, the details of your procedure, dates, et cetera to know what is and isn't okay in YOUR case. THEY do.

So, call them. Please.

When people come here panicking again and again and we continually tell them, in situations where that is the best, most responsible advice, to call their healthcare provider and they patently refuse, there really is both nothing else we can do, and it becomes rather difficult to take the concerns seriously, since someone unwilling to simply pick up the phone doesn't appear to be taking them seriously.

Capisce?


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dotta
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alright so i went to my follow up exam and told them about the bleeding and everything. they said i probably bled right into my period, which makes sense since i am on the period pills of my birth control. but the bleeding is so much. They didn't check it out or anything and i was in and out in maybe 25 min. all they really said was call if there are problems. so i guess i was freaking out for nothing...whew.
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christinejones
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hey dotta - glad to hear it went well (didn't they check you out at all with the scan though? maybe it really is different for the pill/clinical) and all is well with you now. happy new year!!!! all the best cj
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dotta
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that's what i thought was really weird! i mean even on the paper they gave me after surgery says they give an ultrasound at the follow up examination....but idk..they gave me a pregnancy test. anyways i still have a few questions....umm so i took my laslt period pill, does that mean that is going to be the last day of bleeding???! i hope! and i can now wear tampons???
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christinejones
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ummmm well if it said they would scan you on the aftercare surgery leaflet then i don't know - maybe see what miz scarlet (or other sexperts logic/barbarosa/gumdrop) think as they have experience and medical knowledge.

although the clinic must know what they are doing --- and i don't want to worry you. how do you feel in general? if you are not feeling ill or light-headed or anything maybe it doesn't matter about the scan.

but just for your own personal reassurance, and as you are still bleeding, i think it is pretty shitty that they didn't scan you when it said on the leaflet that they would. that's all part of the doctoring as far as i am concerned you ought to walk out of there feeling that everything that needed to be done and checked was and reaassured that everything is fine!!!!

it depends on how neurotic you are - i would be on the phone right now saying i want a scan because i wouldn't be able to cope with not having had one. i would be having panic attacks and not sleeping etc. but if you feel ok with it - then that's ok.

but i wouldn't use tampons until your next period just to be safe.


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glitter695
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Dotta, just a quick question..?

When you go to the doctors why don't you ask them what you are asking us?

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Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable


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dotta
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i get nervous especially at an abortion clinic..... also i figure they know what they are doing and nothing out of the oridinary went wrong ....but anyways i feel fine and the bleeding is over with ...and i think this whole thing is done with for good!!!! new year = new vagina.
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