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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Feeling Alone

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Author Topic: Feeling Alone
Member # 8524

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I woke up with this empty feeling in my stomach and it soon turned into a pain. And then I realized... no one is coming down those stairs to hold me and make it better. Then I thought, what's the point of living if you'll always be alone? Distant things mean nothing to me now, I need something to make me okay now, to force feed goodness to me. I don't need an idea in my head, i need something there, something I'll never have...
Posts: 13 | From: Caldwell, Idaho, USA | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 1896

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i know how much loneliness and being down suck and that it can sometimes feel like one is stuck in a neverending tunnel of nothingness and darkness.

however, in my opinion and my experience, a partner or love or a bunch of friends will not cause a "zaaap!" and suddenly make life perfect. from how i've experienced it, life just doesn't work that way: the strength to make life good has to come from within you.
sure, other people can contribute and assist, but you are the base.

i know this sounds like i am putting an awful lot of responsibilty on you, which is just what you don't need, but that's not what i mean. i mean that you need to start reaching out to get help to get out of the loneliness you're currently in.

you wrote that you need someone to "force feed goodness" to you, but really, imagine how someone dragged you out to do something when you're not quite feeling ready for it yet and just aren't in the mood for it. makes you feeling even worse afterwards, doesn't it? so if someone would force you to be positive and around others, i doubt they'd be helping you much at all or help you feel better.

it sounds to me, hon, that you urgently need someone in real life to talk to about your loneliness and sadness. are there any adults you feel you can open up to? a parent or relative, a counselor, a member of your church (rabbi, priest or other spiritual leader), a family friend or your gp could be the right person to talk to and ask for help. a professional such as a psychotherapist or psychiatrist could help you figuring out ways to deal with and get out of your loneliness and sadness.
if you are currently already seeing a psychoterhapist or psychiatrist: have you been open to her/him about how you're really doing? if not, be open with them immediately. these pros can not help you to the best of their ability if you don't let them help you.

besides professional help, there are plenty of things that can make you feel better, less lonely, more useful and happier. i'm personally a great big fan of volunteering for a cause you care about. no matter what you do - help at your local animal shelter, or distribute food or do website or pr work for a local women's initiave, help kids with their homework, - you get out, you meet people, you do something valuable an get lots of distraction, too. most charities are thrilled to get volunteers and value your free work a lot.

other things you ccould try are group sports or classes for new sports (makes your body feel better, great way to meet people) or exploring your spiritual life, for example through groups or events your church or belief group holds.

i know it can seem like the biggest hurdle to just call some place and say "i'd like to help" or to go somewhere you've never been before and be faced with all these new people, especially when you're really down. but i promise, getting over that initial hurdle is definitely worth it.

hope this helps a wee bit.

~Scarleteen Sexpert~

"Through repetition the magic will be forced to rise."
Alchemical Precept

Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3741

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Originally posted by spiritual_anorexia:
Then I thought, what's the point of living if you'll always be alone?

To create something beautiful. Create something. A story, a drawing, a poem. Maybe you'll grow up telling the world what's wrong with it, how it's hurt you and others, so maybe things can change. Maybe what you create will lead you to people who understand and feel the same way. Maybe then you can understand the world around you, what must change, and what you must change within yourself.

Maybe being alone isn't all that bad after all. Loneliness, after all, is often a temporary state. Make the best of it, feel it, embrace it, so that when your scene changes, you'll have stories to tell, and you'll know all that much more about yourself and the world.

Posts: 37 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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