I've completely lost patience with school and everything i have to do here lately. I dont want to go to class anymore and i find myself skipping a lot. Consequently, I'm not trying very hard in any of my classes and my grades are proving it.
Lately, I just want to go home...I think about how much easier it would be to just work my full time job with this great company i work for rather than do school. I find myself wanting to take a semester off, but then I know I shouldnt because i dont want to be in school forever. I feel so bogged down with work, that i cant handle it. I've also in the process gotten very far behind, which also makes me very upset and makes me want to go home even more.
There's only so much i can tell my parents that i'm going to pass this semester. Honestly, I dont know if I am going to...my grades are horrible!! I mean, I was on deans list with a 3.5 gpa in my 2 previous semesters...and now this. I've been rethinking my major, maybe i cant do it.
I get so frustrated with myself, because usually I'm a fighter and i'm motivated to get out and do the right thing and do better for myself and i'm usually up for a challenge whatever it may be...but lately i find myself wanting to just take the easy road.
I attend Penn State University, I'm a sophomore...and I just transferred to main campus this semester from another smaller PSU campus. I cant stand where i'm living, my roommate is kinda not my type of person...and to top it off I have no friends here because they're all back at the other campus i was going to school at. Everything just keeps getting on my nerves.
I know there's only 6 weeks of school left, but I honestly just want to go home! I miss my home, my parents, my brothers, my cat, my job... I just want to be with them. I want to be somewhere comfortable. I just feel so overwhelmed and I dont know how to get myself out of this funk!
I feel like everything i'm doing this semester is proving to me that maybe I just cant hack it. Maybe school isnt for me...maybe a major in Nutrition isnt for me. Maybe i should have just listened to my guidance counselor in highschool when she told me my senior year that i wouldnt make it here.
I'm just so frustrated with myself...and I dont know what to do about it. I guess why i'm writing, is that I just want to vent, and maybe hear that i'm not the only idiot who feels like school is getting too hard to handle. Is this a natural feeling in college?? Does everyone have a semester where they just feel like they cant do it anymore??
I feel so disorganized, no matter how hard I try to be organized...I forget to do my schoolwork, I dont study hard enough on tests. I have no motivation to do anything here. I feel so alone, because the only person i know and hang out with is my boyfriend, and thats not healthy. All I do is sit around my room... I feel like such a loser.
...and this post is getting very long, so I'm going to stop here.
Ask anyone who's ever been in college, and they'll tell you that what you're experiencing is definately normal. Everybody has those low moments where you just want to go home because nothing is working the way it should and nothing is turning out the way its supposed to and you're tired and stressed and at the end of your rope.
Give yourself a little credit here, sweetie. From your post, it sounds like you're going through alot right now. Difficult classes, a new place, a new roommate, homesickness...the whole nine yards! Also, it's really that point in the semester. The second half of the term is often much more difficult than the first both in terms of academics, stress, and just general moral (or lack thereof).
I will say though that you should keep in mind that easier isn't always better. Yeah, it would be easy to take that full time job. But is that what you are really wanting to do? You worked really hard to get in and to have that good GPA your first year, which is a fabulous accomplishment. You must have wanted it pretty bad to work that hard. So thinking in terms of your long term goals, is dropping out now really what you want?
I've got a couple of suggestions. First, take a "mental health day." Give yourself permission to take one day off from your worries. Don't stress over school. Don't stress over your roommate. Just don't. Go do something you enjoy. Have a day at a spa...or even just spend the day catching up on your rest. Secondly, find someone to talk to. Is there a professor in your major that you know well or even one that you would like to get to know? Go talk to them about your worries. I promise they won't laugh at you. Most faculty are perfectly willing to counsel their students. They may have some advice or encouragement they could give you to help getting through this semester a bit more bearable. And finally, remember that this is just one semester. You did well the past two semesters, so why would this one time indicate that you're just not cut out to accomplish the goals you've set for yourself? Try to think about this as just a bump in the road rather than a brick wall. If you truly feel that this is not the place for you to be or the thing for you to be doing, then yes, you need to get out...however, are you really in a position to make that life altering decision right now with all the stress you are under?
Hang in there, ok? I've been there too, as have alot of other people.
Thanks KittenGoddess I'm not going to quit school, i know that much...its just the thought that it seems so easy to just give up and take on that full time job and ride on down that "easy" path. But then i think...Do I want to help people? Or do I want to be interning with a rental car company all my life!
This is just my most stressful semester so far...and it kind of woke me up and got me thinking, "Well wait...is every semester going to be like this from now on??".
I never really looked at the facts that, I am at a new and bigger campus with new people, and a roommate thats kind of "eh". I guess i just assumed i would get here, and everything would be peachy and good, and I could go on my merry way. I never once thought over winter break that it would be a hard adjustment...but I guess thats exactly what it is now that i think about the words that you've given me.
I think the hardest part is missing my family. At my other campus I was only an hour from home, so I would go home and spend the day with my mom or she would come visit and we would go out for lunch or something. But now I'm 4 hours from my home...and I only get to see my family on breaks from school. I think it makes me a little more depressed, because my roommate is only about an hour or so from home right now, so her parents come visit all the time and she gets to see them.
It upsets me because all through highschool I wanted nothing more than to get away from my family..haha...and now I'm here away from them and I miss them all like crazy!!:P Its funny how things change i guess.
I try to take "mental health" days...in fact i think i've taken too many, haha...and then i regret it and think, "you idiot, you're sitting here laying in bed reading a book when you should be in class!" and then i go on the rest of the day like that, "I cant believe i skipped class today..what was i thinking". I think I make myself stressed out sometimes, without realizing it.
I was actually so stressed out before Spring Break that I couldnt see....literally, my vision was very poor and I couldnt eat anything, and everything i ate made my stomach turn. I would feel like my insides were shaking and i couldnt get enough done in a day. When i came back last week, I was kinda normal...I was eating, well rested, felt good. And then this week its like I'm back to how I was before break.
Oh, Faeryprincess, I feel for you. Many college students are suffering from what I've heard coined as either the March blues or "Done-itis"- where the end of term is so close, you can taste it, but before that, you've got term papers and finals to struggle through. I've been feeling the March blues since January, personally, but now that everyone else is coming into the mode of cranky, tired and stressed, I'm feeling it more than ever. The weather is blah, people are distant and snappish, and you've got mounds of work to deal with.
What you've got to do is learn to make concessions- for example, my philosophy class was really stressing me out. It was complicated, I was doing poorly on the tests and papers, and I was pretty sure my professor doesn't like me very much (I go to a rather small college, so professors tend to know people by name and sight after a while). I took a look at the overall picture, however, and realized that maybe when it comes to applying for grad school, no one is going to look at my record and say "Hmm, jane only got a 65 in existential philosophy in second year- that's going to have a big effect on her application to our journalism/law/theology school!" So, while I still do the work and write the tests in the class, I'm pouring more of my energy into my core courses and just letting that class serve as a reminder that I can't rock everything hardcore, all the time.
Mental health days are important, and don't let the thought of missing a class get you down so much. Eat well! I know that's tough if you're eating at a school cafeteria, or on a student budget, but healthy eating and exercising where you can does a lot to relieve stress.
You're on a bigger campus, and I'm assuming, a new town from before? Why not take a half day to explore the city? Meander the downtown area, take in some architecture, that kind of thing?
Overall, university is important, but I think 75% of the learning you do when you attend post-secondary (especially away from home) is done outside of the classroom. I hope things pick up for you soon!~
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