well to start out...about a year and a 1/2 ago my mom passed away, i was 15, now im 16. so i had to move to NY with my aunt. at first things were going good, but than everything fell apart all at once. I started to meet a lot of new people.....well at 13 i lost my virginity but i was never having sex a lot, maybe once or twice. but once i moved to ny i started to fool around with a lot of people, sex, and other stuff. i've slept with 15 people, and im NOT PROUD of myself at all. i dont know why did all those things, i really wish i could take them back. a lot of people are thinking bad things about me, ya well who wouldnt with my kind of REP! i know i cant take it back, but now im jsut so00oo used to doing all those things, i dont wanna stop. but i know i have to and i should. please help me, what do i do?!?
Posts: 2 | From: dansville, ny, usa | Registered: Sep 2002
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Sit down with a piece of paper and a pencil and make a list of things you would like to be doing, and things you would not like to be doing. For each, write what benefits or pitfalls they bring to you.
Oftentimes, if we want to make changes in our lives, it's a lot easier to get to the point where we can figure out HOW when we actually know WHAT we want those changes to be.
Set aside, for now, what others may or may not think of you, or what you feel is expected of you, and when you make these lists, concentrate on wwhat YOU feel is best for you and most beneficial.
Start small -- it may seem tiny, but it's one way to actually get started. Change is never easy, so just saying "Shazaam! I'm going to be totally different!" often tends to be highly ineffective.
Paper. Pencil. You.
(As a side note, do also be sure you add to that start list annual GYN exams and STD/STI screens if you have not started them already. Even if all that sexual activity was safer sex, you still have risk factors and will for some time, so take care of yourself and your health. That's one real easy and positive change you can make that is certainly in your best interest.)
I'm sorry about your mom. That must have been hard on you. I lost my mom when I was quite young, so I can sort of relate to you there.
Having someone close to us snatched away is a good way for us to lose our bearings on life. And often people can hold things together for a while, but it eventually falls apart (as you said, it suddenly fell apart).
With respect to that, Miz S had some excellent advice. Writing down ways you want to get your life back on track is a good way of reinforcing them, so make sure you refer to your list often.
And sometimes you'll feel a little overwhelmed by it. That's okay, and it's natural too. Just keep ploughing along with it, and it will all come together in the end.
And when things get bad you can always come back to this thread and chat. Someone will be more than happy to support you with this.
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