Last night was the Homecoming dance at my school. The first people I saw when I arrived were my exboyfriend and his girlfriend, who just happens to be this chick that made my life hell ever since Jr. High. This threw me off for the whole night, and all though I tried to have fun, my friend Summer and I decieded to leave to go to this party about halfway through the dance. When we got to the party, Summer started drinking right away. I, being the driver, just kind of stood in the background, sipping my sprite, becoming angrier with myself with every breath. I felt stupid just standing there alone, and I kept thinking to myself, 'if you were prettier then maybe you'd have guys talking to you like Summer does', or ' if you weren't so fat maybe you'd be more fun.' Then it happened. This guy Joe came over to me, and we talked for a few minutes before he lead me downstairs. We started kissing and I let his hands wander, mine did too. Then, before I could even get a rational thought in my head, he tried to put himself inside me. I stopped him, but I didn't run away in disgust, I told him to put a condom on. He did, and then, well, we did. Im not like this. This isn't the kind of thing I do. Im me, Little Miss Perfect to friends and family, straight a student, I spend twelve hours at school everyday, IM ON THE SPEECH TEAM!! I dont have sex with guys that I dont know! This wasn't my first time or anything, but when I was sexually active before, I knew the guy, I had been dating him for forever....it was much different.
Has anyone done anything like this? Does anyone have any clue as to why I did this? Does anyone have any advice to give me? I dread going to school on Monday, I keep worrying about if anyone is going to know. Joe goes to my school, he called me today. I feel so icky, so dirty. Someone, please?
------------------ No one's a virgin....Life screws everyone
It's okay to make mistakes. Live and learn, right?
I have to ask this one question tho ... Are you upset b/c this isn't something you normally do and you fear for your safety, or is it b/c you are worried about what people will think of you and that you look down on people who do things like this?
We can't tell you why you did it really. Why did you do it? Was it b/c you were feeling lonely and needed a little attention? Was it b/c you were looking for a little excitement that nite? Whatever the reason, it's okay. I'm very impressed, personally, that you had your head on your shoulders enough to request the use of a condom
So just take a deep breath ... relax. It was a mistake. It's okay to have regrets, but it's important to reflect and remember this next time you're in a similar situation.
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