ever feel like you're a waste of space? i do all the time now. i just started university (first year, new town) and i can't stop thinking about how worthless i am. time and time again, i find myself thinking about just ending it all. how nice it would be for the pain to stop. even just for a little bit. because it never does stop. i've never cried so much in my life. everyday. every damn day i cry and its making me so tired. i mean, someone better could be in my place. i'm wasting space. nobody cares. nobody here cares about me. i keep on getting in one bad situation after another. its like i keep on beating my head against a wall, expecting it to not hurt the next time. but it hurts all the time.
Posts: 8 | From: Prince George, B.C., Canada | Registered: Nov 2001
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Of course you're not a waste of space! I'm sure there are people around you who certainly care about you, and around here, you'll find we're quite a caring bunch ourselves!
Going off to college the first time is difficult. It's very difficult, ask anybody. And you're not the first person to have gotten themselves into some sticky situations, and made some mistakes. But that's alot of what college is about, going out there on your own, and making your own decisions, and accepting the consequences. In short, it's about making mistakes and learning from them. This is my third year at college, and I can promise you, I still do incredibly stupid things on a daily basis. And that's ok! That's how we learn, and how we grow up.
Sweetie, whatever has happened, it's going to be ok. I'd highly suggest contacting your student mental health services office. That's what they're there for. To provide you with help and support and counseling. There's bound to be some sort of organization on campus that provides that. So I'd suggest calling them, and asking to make an appointment to talk to someone. And there's nothing wrong or shameful about doing that either...more people than you probably realize take advantage of those types of services on college campuses.
Hang in there sweetie! Keep your chin up, it'll all work out just fine!
Gandhi said, "Be the change in the world you wanted to see."
If you feel worthless and want to do something about it that doesn't involve just crying in a corner, may I suggest community service? I work in a hospital. I visit with patients hooked up to ventilators, patients in permanent vegetative states and comas and patients with severe brain damage. As depressing the scene is, I always come home feeling better because for that hour I spend with them, they're happy. Some of them don't get any visitors except for me, which I think is awful -- being forgotten in a hospital like that. Maybe you'd might feel better if you made a difference in someone's life like that. Maybe volunteer at a soup kitchen, or a children's hospital. You'll learn new things, talk to interesting people and help in your community.
Anyway, sorry about the tough time, I've been there too. But things really do get better.
------------------ Living proof that it's hip to be square .
Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000
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Hell yeah. I've been there, and I'm only just leaving.
Gummy's advice is excellent. Do something that makes a difference. If you've made someone's life a little teeny bit better then there's no way you can be classed as a waste of space. Be an activist for something you believe-human rights, the environment etc.,
And try not to be around people who make you feel worthless. Easier said than done, I know, but I used to have friends who were soo dismissive of my opinions, my companionship, my existence, that it made me feel like dirt. It's better to be alone than have friends like that.
------------------ You wanna save humanity, it's just the people you can't stand-John Lennon
Witness the infinite justice of the new century. Civilians starving to death whilst waiting to be killed.
i really hope you get some help because i feel like that a lto sometimes too.....i dont knwo what to say becuase i culd do with the same advice myself....the world just seems so big scary adn cruel sometimes doesnt it?...its hard to take your own advice and thsi is what i need to do to...adn im gonna try and that is 2 just learn to love yourself....when you do that....thigns will be alot easier. if you cant even love yourself....ya know....it causes problems....i know! im one of those people who can feel on top of the world one min, then want to end it ALL the next....its horrible....but wen i do feel good, it makies life so much better, becuase friends are happier around you, relationships are better and everything....then you get tired of being good adn it happeens agin doesnt it...but this site is ace....at least we are talking about our problems...AT LEAST WERE NOT PRETENDING EVERYTHING IS FINE...im sorry im not much help....but i thought i should write something...CUZ I CARE! take care hunny. xoxox
Posts: 30 | From: england | Registered: Jul 2001
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