Okay, I've been severely depressed for a number of years now, and have a few issues, and I'd like to get better. The obvious answer to this problem is for me to go into therapy, but I'm not entirely sure if that would work. See, I was in therapy for several years, and it didn't do much of anything, although I have doubts about the therapist's competence. Also, I've heard that two of the main benefits of therapy are having somebody who listens to you, and having somebody who points out connections and the like within your mind that you missed. I neither need nor want the former, and I seem to do a pretty good job of figuring out how my mind works on my own.
So, my question is, to those of you who've been in/are familiar with therapy, does it offer anything beyond what I've mentioned? Considering what I've said of my situation, do you think it'll do anything for me?
Posts: 266 | From: Portland, Oregon | Registered: Jul 2000
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You could really have anyone to listen to you, but i think the main point of therapy is having someone objective that can point things out to you that you didn't see before. Whether or not you agree w/ it is really irrelevent ... A therapist isn't there to tell you what to do, they're simply offering advice.
I thought i did a pretty good job of trying ot understand how my own mind works too, but to be honest, i suck at it. Talking to a family member or friend doesn't always work, as they're listening for personal reasons, and a therapist is listening b/c it's their job.
To be blunt, if you're not open to suggestions from your therapist, i don't see how you can benefit from therapy at all. Yes, you'd have someone to listen to you, but you might as well talk to the wall for all the output you'll actually hear. I was in therapy for years as well, and i wasn't interested in what the therapist had to say to me, so it did nothing for me. I do just as much listening as i do talking and i finally feel like i'm getting somewhere.
I've got to agree with Smurfie on this one - the one thing you *MUST* take with you to therapy is an open mind, and a willingness to think "outside the box."
Therapy is about self-discovery, to a degree, and no matter how well we think we know ourselves, we cannot escape the inevitable, subjective bias that occurs when we try to get to the root of our own issues. Ther therapists job is to listen to what you are telling him/her, and try to sift through the biases you might not even be aware of. Medical professionals have helped many, many people, even those who might have felt they were beyond help...
see i'm confused here too! i probably do need therapy, and i think sometimes it might be a good idea. but it really seems pointless to me, very pointless. sitting there and telling them stuff. It really hasn't worked very well, and i'm not big on talking about it. And then the therapist lady tried some new thing, where she uses this wierd series of beeps and hand movements to connect all the thoughts and reassociate themselves in another part of teh brain. it just made things worse. so i figure i'll stick with this action plan, ie doing nothing, for a while.
Posts: 433 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2001
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You know, cupcake, I really think you should give it another try. But well, just as Smurfie and Lisa have said, if you do not want to do this, it won't help anyway.
I personally have found therapy helpful not just because someone listened to me and showed me new insight, but because, just as Smurf said, this person doesn't have any personal motives or any obligation to help get on the road to feeling better. Having regular appointments also gave my week some structure, which helped when I was at my lowest.
The relationship to your therapist is the most important thing here, really. If you don't connect, you won't be open and it won't work. Same goes if you think the type of therapy itself isn't right for you, like the EMDR therapy (Eye movement desensitizationand reprocessing) you had here. - And that's fine. You have rights as a patient, too, and if your basic starting point (and theory on what's bothering you) isn't the same as that of your therapist, it won't work and you should look for someone else if possible.
Doing nothing isn't such a good choice, dear, really. Depression is very often cyclical, and it's important that you prepare yourself and try to get out of that cycle. It doesn't have to be all negative, really. You just need to find the right people out of there, and it sounds like your current therapist just isn't right for you.
------------------ Caro ~spanking new Scarleteen Sexpert~
"Through repetition the magic will be forced to rise." Alchemical Precept
quote:Originally posted by cupcake: And then the therapist lady tried some new thing, where she uses this wierd series of beeps and hand movements to connect all the thoughts and reassociate themselves in another part of teh brain. it just made things worse.
Actually, I've heard of this.
My mom is a therapist, and she has learned something similar for trauma and post traumatic stress. (EMDR, like Alaska said. There are different versions; I'm not sure if they have different names, as my mom's technique is slightly different.) As I understand it, the idea is to disassociate the memories from the emotions they cause, so you can remember the bad stuff without re-living all the emotions it caused.
Keep in mind that some therapies are like antibiotics. When a patient gets a prescription for antibiotics, he or she is always warned to finish the entire course of the treatment, otherwise the patient might end up sicker than at the beginning, and with a resistance to antibiotics, to boot.
If somebody wants to try a particular theraputic technique, it's a good idea to ask all the questions you want, first, and one of those questions should be, "What if I don't like it and want to quit in the middle." If the answer is, "That's not a good idea," then consider whether you really want to try it and whether you have the committment to see it through.
------------------ And I've got no illusions about you. Guess what? I never did. When I said, when I said, "I'll take it." I meant, I meant As Is. --Ani DiFranco, "As Is"
[This message has been edited by Lady Moonlight (edited 10-26-2001).]
quote:Originally posted by Lady Moonlight: Keep in mind that some therapies are like antibiotics. When a patient gets a prescription for antibiotics, he or she is always warned to finish the entire course of the treatment, otherwise the patient might end up sicker than at the beginning, and with a resistance to antibiotics, to boot.
Agreed. My therapist and I had a few disagreements at first, but I kept seeing her, and I still am nearly 17 months later. She is fantastic, and I'm glad I stayed with her.
Of course, sometimes therapists just don't "click" with you, and other times they can't identify the problem, or worse, misdiagnose. I was sent to, well, basically a grief counselor a few years after my mom died. I was suffering from extreme anxiety and depression symptoms, but all he ever did was talk about my mother. I was close to my mom and missed her, but at the time I had other problems. I stopped seeing him, and later was referred to my current therapist who has done wonders.
------------------ "I talked for hours to your wallet photograph And you just listened. You laughed, enchanted by my intellect... Or maybe, you didn't."
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