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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Dreams, friends, out of my mind....

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Author Topic: Dreams, friends, out of my mind....
paradigmodel
Neophyte
Member # 5362

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Ah...I swear I'm losing it. Everything going on in the world...agh. Its hard to verbalize this.

I've been really sleepy all the time lately. I've been having weird dreams...dreams that aren't like the ones I usually have. More related to events that are actually happening in my life, even though my dreams are usually ultra-surreal and don't make any obvious sense. For example, yesterday I dreamt about moving back through my childhood, with all these younger people I know or have known...we were moving through caverns on a float, getting younger and younger, watching events from my life play on the walls. I woke up wanting to cry, it was really disturbing somehow.

I'm also really worried about my best friend. I love her to death, we've known eachother for going on eight years. Lately she's been hanging out with a lot of new friends. They *sound* nice enough, they don't really do anything together that's "horrible" or "bad", she's even found a guy that she likes who likes her in return. But now she's cutting herself...she only did that once before in her life, and it was in a fit of anger, and wasn't that bad a cut. But now all of a sudden she's sitting at home with a razor blade carving the word "slit" onto her wrist, and she acts so damn cavalier about it. Like, "oh, look at this, I cut myself...wanna go listen to some music?". I don't know what to say to her that doesn't sound harsh or judgemental. I don't want to insult her, I don't want to make her feel like I'm looking down on her, because I'm not. I understand the urge to cut, I've been depressed before and have really wanted to, but I never did. I also know that cutting is really really hard to stop, and once you start going its a long rocky road ahead of you. I don't want her to hurt herself, not now, or ever, but the timing is especially bad. I just don't know how to help! She's my best and only real friend...

School sucks, too. Too much work...and I'm so scared about things in general, war, "President" Bush, the whole lot. The world's just been weighing on me lately...

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[chickens are the only animal we eat before they're born and after they're dead.]


Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SolitaryTear
unregistered


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Dreams are theoretically figments of the things that have been thought about recently, sometimes evolving mostly around stress and things sustaining your emotions. So think about those theories and maybe apply them. I firmly believe, also, that they could sometimes be a "sign," telling you something will happen, and pretty much telling you what will happen.

Now on the self-mutilation, this girl is hurting, maybe she wants you to say something. Which do you care more about?: helping her to stop doing something that will potentially kill her and cause a lot of pain in her life, or risk being flamed and hurting her by being harsh?

After answering that question, then make your decision. It is probably a very sensitive subject for her, but you have to help her, you can't sit back and watch her ruin her life.

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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


~.*^*.aMaNDa.*^*.~
An Evanescent Beauty That Will Never Flee


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paradigmodel
Neophyte
Member # 5362

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You see, I'm afraid by coming off harsh I may do more damage than good. She's one of those people...if you tell her to do something, she'll turn around and do the exact opposite just to piss you off. She's like that, she hates being told what to do in any shape or form. I just don't know how to talk to her without seeming like I'm trying to be an authority figure. I did say to her, when she showed me..."Be careful, that sh*t's addictive", and I asked her why she did it. She just said, "I dunno, depressed about stuff. And I think it looks cool." Ugh...I don't get it. We've talked about cutting in the past, and she always talked like she was beyond that, like she understood that it wasn't a good thing to be doing. She knows a lot of cutters, and she's always trying to help them out. Now she's doing it to herself...I just don't know what to say...

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[chickens are the only animal we eat before they're born and after they're dead.]


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paradigmodel
Neophyte
Member # 5362

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I know this may not seem like a huge problem on the grand scale of things, but I would really appreciate any more advice anyone has to offer...I could really use it.

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[chickens are the only animal we eat before they're born and after they're dead.]


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Lady Moonlight
Activist
Member # 384

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It can be very hard to help a friend who's self-destructive, and heartbreaking to watch.

You say you're worried that if you come off harsh she'll continue her behavior or even get worse just because that's the sort of defiant person she is. What about trying to tell her that her self-injury bothers you without being judgmental about it? Something along the lines of, "You're my friend and I love you and I hate to see you harming yourself."

If she continues to harm herself, I would seriously consider telling her parents or another adult that you trust (like a school counselor or school nurse if you have one). This would take a lot of strength on your part, as I can't honestly tell you that it wouldn't end your friendship, at least for a while. However, it could get her the help she needs and possibly save her life.

As for your dreams, it seems very likely they're just a byproduct of stress. I know that during periods of my life when I've been stressed to the gills, I've had some really wacked-out dreams. Another friend of mine has awful dreams as part of her allergic reactions. Too much corn in her diet and all of a sudden she's having extremely weird and vivid dreams which inevitably include some of the more unpleasant elements of her childhood. In your case I'd bet on stress, though. Try taking some time for yourself to do something calming that you enjoy--listen to music, take a hot bath by candlelight, go for a run, medidtate, whatever works for you.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

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And I've got no illusions about you.
Guess what? I never did.
When I said, when I said, "I'll take it."
I meant, I meant As Is.
--Ani DiFranco, "As Is"


Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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