A year ago my neighbor, who I had a crush on, tried to rape me. He had just gotten out of jail like a month before that for raping a girl. It was two days after prom and his birthday, so I guess he thought he would come over and get a "birthday present" from me. He came knocking on my window and I went and opened the door for him figuring he wanted a beer or something because that is what he always came over for. He came in the house and we talked for a couple of minutes and he started kissing me. I thought it was no big deal even though I knew he was pretty drunk. Then he started bending me over backwards trying to force me to get on the floor. He was a very strong guy and he succeeded. He kept on trying to pull down my underwear and kissing me so hard I couldn't get my face away from him. He unbuttoned his pants and physically forced me to touch him. I kept on telling him no and trying to push him away but nothing worked. My mom was asleep in the next room but I was afraid. I tried not to wake her and get him out of the house at the same time. Luckily, one of my friends was there at the end of all that terror and helped me get him off me and pushed him out the door. I didn't tell my mom what happened until two days later. I felt like it was my fault because I let him in the house. Now I can't handle guys touching me or getting too close, or at least some guys. It's like they send off these vibes telling me if I can trust them or not. You would think that after all that I wouldn't want to have sex with anyone, but it's like I'm out of control. I can't touch anyone done there but it's like I'm trying to get proof of something but I don't know what. I feel like all that was my fault, but I really know it wasn't. I just can't forget about it. It's like it is carved in my brain forever.
Posts: 61 | From: Mayfield, Ky | Registered: Mar 2001
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