Donate Now
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Words Can Never Hurt You

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Words Can Never Hurt You
pink
Activist
Member # 1071

Icon 1 posted      Profile for pink     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I got this idea from the bullies topic.

Is there an actual point where teasing gets too be too much? Like, are you just supposed to take it no matter how constant it is? Or is there really a point where your ONLY option is suicide?

Some of this probably depends on the person. If they're emotionally unstable in the forst place, a breaking point is probab;y much more likely.

If you were in the girls situation, what would you do? For me, it's so absolutely horrible I couldn't think about it. I would probably kill myself, if I couldn't stop it.

------------------
Sin by thy lips? Oh trespass sweetly urged, give me my sin again!


Posts: 615 | From: New York | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lin
Activist
Member # 2050

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Lin     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It all boils down to what you think about yourself.

All my life, people say i am too skinny and while that sounds like a compliment, it isn't. And I could hide myself in baggy clothes and stuff my face with food to make them happy but I don't.

I love myself and I believe that my opinion matters the most to me.

So it probably wouldn't affect me but I can't say I would do the same thing if I was 4 or 5. I would probably just cry my eyes out.


Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Beppie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 94

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Beppie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't think that there is ever a point where suicide is your only option. You always have the option of getting yourself together and moving on. I don't think you can blame bullies directly for anyone committing suicide- it's the decision of the individual.

Having said that however, yes, I do think that words can hurt an awful lot. Even you you know, within yourself, that it's not true, having people taunt you all day long is sort of like having a fly buzz around your head all day- the longer it goes on, the louder and more annoying it is, and the less you can ignore it.


Posts: 2710 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gaffer
Activist
Member # 2105

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Gaffer     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Suicide is never ever ever the only option. It is all too often the easier option. Why live in hell when dying is so much easier? I don't know.

I think that name calling can get to be too much rather quickly and many people just throw the old sticks and stones excuse at you if you tell them about it. But words do hurt, and self esteem often takes longer to heal than physical wound. Well, I suppose if it was something like a massive head trauma or something it would take longer to heal, but now I'm just being silly.


Posts: 356 | From: Phoenix--name that plurally | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
towel42
Activist
Member # 3118

Icon 1 posted      Profile for towel42     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, I'm pretty damn glad suicide isn't the only option. All through grade school and junior high I was teased relentlessly. Luckily, where I'm attending high school now, the kids are a bit nicer, though I know I still get whispered about and pointed at once in awhile.

When I was younger, I considered suicide many times. Its easy for a lot of people who aren't in that kind of situation to say "you just have to hold your head high and move on". Its just not that easy when you're surrounded by inescapable hatred for years on end. I still suffer from low self esteem to this day. I'm getting better, thankfully, but I know I'll never really have a good image of myself, like I had before I went to the school where I was bullied.

During seventh grade, I luckily discovered some music and some people outside of school that helped me get through those last years of junior high. I view life, now, as something of a test. The Powers That Be are gonna throw everything They've got at you, and committing suicide is like just laying down and giving up. That may sound bitter, but it's how I feel.

------------------
...an angel who didn't so much fall as saunter vaguely downward...


Posts: 256 | From: Illinois | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ella
Activist
Member # 1168

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ella     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I know that words can hurt and if there are no words that do not hurt then some people feel that they have no other option. Every human needs someone to depend on for love and support. It's difficult to have inner strength without at least some outer support. I know that as of now, because of the love and belief that I had when I was little (from my parents) I'm much stronger emotionally than some. SUpport is necessary, because no one is self-sufficient.
Posts: 303 | From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lynne
Activist
Member # 713

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Lynne     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yes, teasing hurts and can be damaging. But suicide is never the only option. Even if all reasonable methods of stopping the teasing don't work, the person being teased should realize that school, and thus the teasing, won't last forever. I'm all in favor of telling that fact to and giving support to people who are being bullied, particularly the ones who already have emotional problems, but if someone can't realize that teasing is a temporary state and not the end of the world and choose to kill themselves because of it, then their death is ultimately their own choice.

I was teased, myself. It hurt. A lot. But by the time I was in middle school, I knew that killing myself over something that would be over in a few years was rash and a waste of life.

------------------
To the rational mind there can be no offense, no obscenity, no blasphemy, but only information of greater or lesser value.
-- Jennifer Diane Reitz

[This message has been edited by Lynne (edited 04-02-2001).]


Posts: 266 | From: Portland, Oregon | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ErinK
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ErinK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
What I think that teasing can do is multiply and compound the problems that people with depression face.

If you are depressed, you have lovely voices in your head telling you that you are worthless, lousy, lower than whale poop, and you deserve to die. And these feelings don't go away, and they never end, and it feels ilke there is no end in sight.

And then you go to school and people are *telling* you that you're worthless, lousy, and lower than whale poop. so all of a sudden you have external evidence for your internal reality. And because of your depression shrouded fog, you can't really feel any hope that it will go away.

So yes, ultimately the death of a suicide is their choice, but I don't think it's as easy as "they chose to not understand that it was temporary." Depression feels like permanent lifelong hell, and when it's exacerbated by the deliberate and wanton cruelty of others, can make death feel like an extremely wonderful option.

Been there. Done that. Got the souvenir keychain. NOt going there again.

Erin


Posts: 3077 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
italienprincess
Activist
Member # 3087

Icon 1 posted      Profile for italienprincess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
suicide is never the ONLY option.
there is always another way out.
i had a friend who used to be very over weight and all through jr high people made fun of her really bad. she cried alot, and felt awful. the funny thing is, the second she got to high school, the teasing stopped. she met other people that "are even fatter than me!! " sooner or later eveyrone is going to realize that everyone is different.

Posts: 130 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Celtic Daisy
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 2971

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Celtic Daisy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I would never kill myself, and i would never think of killing myself. I'm the kinda person who always manages to find the bright side of stuff and be pretty passive. I've never really been bullied, so i dont' really know how i would react in that situation, but i think for some, it just gets to the point where they can't take it.

I'm so lucky to have a supportive family, and if something like that were to happen to me, my mom would be the first to know, and we would do something about it. I hope others are as fortunate as myself, and have someone to reach out to.

------------------
"A six foot tall anorexic bimbo,with plastic breasts is making me feel weird about my own body."
-Miss Bif Naked


Posts: 1747 | From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3