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Are you the object or the subject of your own sexuality?
Just google “objectification” and you will find pages and pages of articles, research and blog posts on the topic. But basically, objectification happens when a woman is reduced to her appearance and not given her own voice. This is all around us (think advertising) and it can start to make you feel like your only value is in your sexual desirability.
This may result in a woman worrying more about what her partner thinks of her body, the way she looks, the way she kisses, whether she is sexy enough. It may also result in women believing that it is their duty to fulfill their partner’s sexual desires, frequently ignoring their own erotic or physical needs.
Do you ever worry about being sexy to someone else rather than to enjoying sex yourself?
Being the subject of your sexuality starts with absolutely knowing that it is possible to have all the pleasure and fun you have ever wanted in life with or without a partner. When we learn how to turn ourselves on to life, instead of waiting for our partner(s) to do it for us, then we hold the key to being the subject of our own sexuality in our hands.
How do you navigate being the object and/or the subject of your own sexuality? It this something you struggle with or something that comes easy to you? What role does your partner or do your partners play in this?
***Note on objectification. Objectification is not about presenting yourself as as sexual being–or even as an object of sexual desire. After all, that is a normal and fairly universal human urge–who doesn’t like to feel attractive sometimes?
If this is something that peaks your interest check out these videos here, here, here, and here.
-------------------- Haleigh Posts: 176 | From: Kansas City, Missouri | Registered: Feb 2013
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(I'd just add that objectification isn't only something that can happen to or be about women! For sure, that's much more prevalent in most of our cultures, due to institutionalized sexism, but it certainly isn't only about women, nor are women the only people who can experience objectification.)
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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If you start by looking up objectification and gay men, then you should basically start a trail of writing and work on these issues in regard to men you can stick on and keep exploring further.
Too, you can explore the whole subject and cultural assignment of man-as-breadwinner (which is, of itself, an objectification, just not a particularly sexual one), and that'll give you some trails shooting from there to follow, too.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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I'm not sure why but I hadn't really thought of the dancing hawaiian girl and the hawaiian girl bobble head (you know, that people put on their dash) as objectification.
What do you think? Agree/disagree?
-------------------- Haleigh Posts: 176 | From: Kansas City, Missouri | Registered: Feb 2013
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