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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » A little social experiment

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Author Topic: A little social experiment
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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So, I'm wondering if I can get some of you to engage in a bit of a social experiment/exercise.

As some of you often talk about experiencing yourselves, I hear a LOT of older adults telling young people to make sexual choices (often choices they, themselves didn't make as young people, or didn't make in the same context), especially around abstinence.

You don't need me to tell you how disrespectful it is for a member of one group, especially a more privileged one, to tell another what choices to make, especially when the person being told isn't asking the person doing the telling.

But it's clear a whole lot of people doing this kind of telling don't get how disrespectful it is.

So, how about this: can any of you take the kind of unsolicited lecturing and dictating you hear from older adults to tens around sexual choices and turn it on its head? In other words, using the same or similar language and approaches, can you create a lecture to older adults coming from you telling THEM what sexual choices THEY must make?

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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(although I am no longer a teen, I certainly got a lot of this... so I wanted to try this as part of the experiment anyway, hope thats ok!)

I think mine would go a little something like this: "I think we need to talk... I found a condom in your room...You are not to see that guy anymore because he is bad news. Why? because I think you will be running off and having sex with him and next minute their will be a baby in the picture. You are not ready to be doing this, you are too immature for it, I don't care if you are 40, you are not ready. You can't have him staying over, I don't want to be laying up all night worrying that you are making bad choices. You are not married, you shouldnt be having sex. The best way to be safe is not to use condoms but to never physically touch one another. Also, no I am not okay with you using the pill as contraception, it just encourages you to run around having sex with every joker out there and I won't have it.

Trust me, oneday you will thank me for this, for helping you avoid the same mistakes I have made. From now on you are not to see him unless I am around, and I want you to come OFF those pills. I am also taking away all of the condoms so that it doesnt encourage you. I dont want you listening to these liberals running around telling you about how to enjoy sex, it is not for enjoying it is between a man and his wife...".

I got a lot of that.... taking away the pill and condoms only lead to me becoming pregnant... not a great plan mum, not a great plan.

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unfortunately-or rather, fortunately, I guess-I don't get a lot of this from my parents. Mostly because I'm not actually sexually active.
However, I do get a lot of teasing regarding sex-usually from my dad, along the lines of "and mom disinfected the knee massage for you, so it's all clean" "OK" "gigglegiggle she doesn't get it" "yes, dad, I get it" I have debated sometimes saying something about the knee massage in *my* room, but always shied away.

Things like this are why I kind of want to take some form of Psych in college.

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