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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Sexual Preferences (the kind we can all agree on) (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Sexual Preferences (the kind we can all agree on)
Dzuunmod
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Some people refer to homosexuality or heterosexuality as a sexual preference. Some do not - and in fact those who do irritate many people greatly. I think, however, that we can all agree that an attraction to blondes, or people over six feet tall, say, is a sexual preference.

So, then, what are your sexual preferences? Do you feel okay about them? Are some of them a little more dubious than others? Do you like redheads? Or people with short hair? Maybe it's Russians? Perhaps you're attracted to people of a specific race... or maybe amputees? For many, it's a fair bit more touchy to say that you're attracted to someone with a physical disability, or someone of a specific race.

Is anybody here uncomfortable with their sexual preferences? Feel free to talk about all of these issues here, without necessarily getting into the particulars.

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"Love is blind, and I don't blame her/'cause lately I ain't been too much to see/I'd ask a girl home, but I'd have to pay her..."
-Old '97s Ray Charles


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Pumpkin_Pie
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I like thin petite girls, which seems to be the ultimate sin in today's politically correct world. I'm considered to be a bit sizeist because I don't like big women, but just like I can't control the fact I'm attracted to girls I can't really control the type of girls I like you know?

I just find the thought of a slim little body very arousing.

I have nothing against larger women, I just like thin, petite little Kylie-esque women.


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magpie
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I'm attracted to bigger guys. I like someone that I can really hold on to. I think it seem akward to me to date someone shorter/smaller than me, but I don't think I would ever not date someone just becuase of that fact. I also tend to gravitate toward shy guys, witch is interesting becuase I'm not shy in the slightest. Most of my sexual preferences have to do with personality... I'm not a big looks person. I do like facial hair though.

I guess I'm not that picky when it comes to this. Personality is much more importnat to me.


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badly_behaved_badger
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I think it's considered a little bit weird to have no sexual preference at all. Attraction works in mysterious ways for me, I mean, there is no logic in who I'm attracted to at all. I honestly can't say there is any particular feature I like a person to have in order to be attracted to them. People say things like, don't you think that guy is cute? And I have to say I don't find anyone's appearance more pleasing than the next person's. It's all about personality with me...now there I CAN say I have some preferences...warped sense of humour, dirty mind, silly , unusual...
*Badger*

[This message has been edited by badly_behaved_badger (edited 10-07-2002).]


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TifaStrife
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I'm usually into guys who are slightly dorky. Or who have a dorky side. Just the fact that they feel comfortable enough around me to show something about themselves that is outside of the norm is really attractive; kinda gives a guy flavor.
I also prefer guys who are a bit on the heavy side. There's that whole "more to hug" thing, but it's also like a security thing too; the last time I dated someone thinner than me, he told me I needed to lose weight.

Right now, the whole dynamic of dating a younger guy is really awesome. I get to teach him things about relationships and romance and it's a lot of fun being in the more experienced role.

And humor. Guys I date usually HAVE to have a great sense of humor. He doesn't have to make me laugh (but it's a plus!) but he has to at least love to laugh.

Nothing turns me on more than a guy who's dead honest. Because that's the way I am. If I ask if something makes me look fat, I REALLY want to know so I don't make an ass out of myself. I love to know what a guy wants and how he's feeling. No poetry needed.

I'd rather have a guy tell me: "I'm cranky because I miss you." than "I love you like a rose blooming in the rare prairie of blehblehbleh..."


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Gumdrop Girl
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okay, I admit it, I am a shameless Anglophile. Speak your sweet-nothings in the Queen's English, and I will be putty in your hands! I was watching Jaime Oliver on FoodNetwork the telly, and lemme tell you, it wasn't the cake frosted with sugar and orange zest that was making me salivate! Anyway, the conflict that arises here is that I'm a red-blooded, flag-waving American. I have Stars and Stripes stickers on my car, and yet I have the Union Jack pinned to my bookbag. How could a gal like me be so fascinated by the colonial oppressors we fought in 1776? Ehh, it happens, I guess.

My boyfriend's got an interesting preference, too. He's one of many guys I know who has "yellow fever." So far, he's only dated Asian girls. He doesn't deny that he graviates towards Asian girls, but he gets very defensive whenever people try to speculate on why he is preferentially attracted to Asian girls.

There are some people who speculate that white guys stereotype Asian girls as submissive, demure, exotic, etc. (who's stereotyping who?). An Asian-Am galpal of mine discussed this with him. He said that the Asian girls who tend to date interracially are the ones who are more assimilated into American culture. These girls are not the submissive, geisha types (me? submissive? *laughs maniacally*). Therefore, the exotic stereotyping argument doesn't hold. So why does he like the Asian girls? When asked, he simply said, "I think you're pretty."

gotta hand it to my boy, he knows just what to say

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"Things are only fragile till they break."

[This message has been edited by Gumdrop Girl (edited 10-09-2002).]


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Celtic Daisy
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I really tend to like guys with accents, especially English, Scottish, Irish and Aussie.

I always notice blue eyes first, but I'm not quite sure if it's a preference of mine or just something I think sticks out. I tend to lean more towards guys with darker hair as well, and who usually are on the tall side.

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'You've got the eyes of ten women. Not in a jar! I wasn't accusing you. I just mean your eyes are really nice'-coupling

Erin Jane
~Scarleteen Advocate~


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CutiePie4eva
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i find that i'm attracted to guys who are pretty thin... thin but it helps to have some kind of defined body... i mean i melt when i see nice, defined arms... oooo so yummie! lol

i dont like any really muscular guys... or anything like that... and i notice that skaters seem to turn my head more than anyone else. i dunno why... mayb cause my ex was... but its all good...

mostly i like guys with darker hair... i dont seem to have a racial preference... but anyone nice, outgoing, and funny helps... and sarcastic (not too too sarcastic... that can be just mean...)...

i seem to go for guys that are around my size... as in height. i have a friend who refuses to go out with a guy who's shorter than she is... and she's pretty tall herself. i'm totally indifferent. height isnt a qualification for me, but age is... they cant be in a lower grade than i am... its okay if they're a few months younger and IN my grade... but they have to be born at least the same year as me... or older.

and i think thats all i can think of at the moment. =)

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dont worrie b happie... its like a law! =)

hunt for clothes NOT for animals. =)


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Daydreamer24
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I tend to go for guys who only gel their hair sometimes, because I have a thing for hair: it's cute, cute, cute. Leave it down and un-gelled!

I like guys who don't shop at Abercrombie and Fitch, don't love only cheerleaders, only see the exterior, and aren't like most of the guys at my school.

In other words, I dig a great personality. I used to like the GAP goer, hair-gellers, and really clean-shaven guys, but now I am head-over-heels in LUST with Rivers Cuomo of Weezer. *sigh* ... those glasses ... *swoon* and he's so EMOtional! And the songs he writes are fromt he heart. Not like NSYNC.

Anyway, I am a very, very, very hopeless romantic. I dream up things in my head all the time. *sigh*

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Proud member of the "Yes-I-Am-In-Love-With-Rivers-Cuomo" Fan Club.

To Do Is To Be -- Plato
To Be Is To Do -- Socrates
Do Be Do Be Do -- Sinatra


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Celtic Daisy
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I forgot stuff.

I'm really attracted to guys who have piercings and tattoo's, but who are nice. I like the 80's punk look a lot too. Grungy, or hippy i'm really attracted to as well. I don't tend to go for guys who are preppy in the least or are jocks or actually, who are considered to be in the popular crowd.

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'You've got the eyes of ten women. Not in a jar! I wasn't accusing you. I just mean your eyes are really nice'-coupling

Erin Jane
~Scarleteen Advocate~


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AlwaysWorried
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I'm attracted to blonde girls, preferably short or tied back hair (no idea why). I prefer girls that are shorter than me. I seem to like a certain type of face, can't describe it, but I know it when I see it.

Other than the physical, she needs to be fun, can't stand girls who think they're above other people.

So there's me.

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Life rocks

[This message has been edited by AlwaysWorried (edited 10-12-2002).]


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Whatsthatmommy
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Well looking back at the girls i go for i concluded a major factor; I like a nice smile and nice ass. Personality is a big plus. I've been asked out a bunch a few times but i said no and i asked outed a few people and they said no. Im shy. I like to go for the Abercrombie and Fitch Cheerleader look. (I'm the A&F football player) The current girl i like is from denmark

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"I believe everyody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string."
-Scott Adams


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'rin
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nifty topic.
i like men who are older than me but shorter/skinnier by a noticable amount. which i am not embarassed about at all although it makes us look like an odd couple.

i am also attracted to cross dressers. but only ones who are attached to their physical sex if not to their gender - i'm not attracted to transexuals. i spent years being uncomfortable/denying that attraction and have only relatively recently come to terms with it. which is a good thing b/c my current guy dresses....

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who is rin?


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-Jill
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I've actually been waiting for dude_who_writes to answer this one for me - he finds my sexual preferences quite amusing.

However, he seems to be slacking so I'll just do it myself. I'm attracted to what Tim calls the "Johnny Bravo" type and what I call "folk who could break me and half." I simply prefer someone to be bigger than me, with males I'd prefer that to be more muscular, with females I love the well-rounded look.

And, regardless of what Tim may tell you, I really prefer the folk I'm attracted to be much smarter (but just as well intentioned) as Johnny Bravo.

Ooh, and let me second the males in skirts. I don't care why they're in the skirt, I just want to see more of it.

And anyone that I can look at and be in the dark about their gender. I love the androgynous look...

And, as always, these are not certainly not requirements - as any picture of my last partner will tell you.


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Blue Roses
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I tend to be attracted to slightly geeky guys, who are lanky and...is "floppy" the right word? That sounds sort of wrong somehow, but I hope someone knows what I mean. I like longish hair, preferably red or ash brown (platinum blondes just don't attract me for some reason, unless they've got a lot going for them otherwise)...eyes really attract me (show me a picture of Frodo from LOTR and I will melt). I will also melt over cute Celtic guys in kilts. (I do Scottish dancing and my sister plays the pipes, so I get to see LOTS of cute guys in kilts ;-) )

Especially in girls (I like both), I like darkish skin...hispanic or Indian women I have always found beautiful. I haven't found a pattern for what shape of girl I generally find appealing, but I notice faces more than bodies. Smiles are a must in both genders ;-)

For personality, the person must be funny and intelligent, and preferably a bookworm (or any other kind of nerd)


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Dude_who_writes
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Conversation skills and a correct usage of language, whatever their native may be (although, I must admit, my exposure to those not midwestern has been limited... oy.) I refuse to let myself be attracted to anyone who says "funner."

As for the physical aspect, I have to admit that I've been attracted to people who run the gammut. I've swooned (internally, of course) over the ultra-thin, slightly built American Eagle guy, then there has been the curvy pseudo-popular girl with great hair and eyes, and I've even been attracted to someone who falls into the Johnny Bravo-category that I've been credited with creating.

To say the least, physical attraction is a weird thing for me. There is no method to my madness in that area.

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Tim

I am not Dr. Freud, nor is he on staff. The talking cure this ain't.


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Daydreamer24
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quote:
Originally posted by Dude_who_writes:
I refuse to let myself be attracted to anyone who says "funner."

<...>

To say the least, physical attraction is a weird thing for me. There is no method to my madness in that area.


Me too, Tim. Stupid people (not that one grammar mistake labels you stupid) who can't tell the different in "your" and "you're" really bug me. Intelligence is key!

And yeah, I have to agree with you on the second. Lately when I've been with my friends they'll say "he is HOT" and I just can't agree. It's like a mental block ... hard to explain.

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"I was in London meeting Milly for lunch when a big wind swept both of our skirts up. I noticed how cute her black underwear was until I remembered that Milly didn't wear underwear..."


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sapphirecat
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The most physical thing I like is hair... long hair, and unshaven legs. Razors are unnatural

Personality-wise, they have to be intelligent and have a sense of humor, along with a compatible sexuality.

Wearing clothing in my size was an unexpected bonus....

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Sapphire Cat, a feline who can be both pink and blue...


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LaChicaQueSuena
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I was wondering if a female would prefer a shorter male..
Personally, I'm indecisive when it comes to looks. I seem to find beauty in every face. I don't know, but I suppose in guys, I'd prefer someone taller. Personality is definately key, along with intelligence. I like to have conversations! I love a good dry sense of humor. As for females, I prefer someone about my size. Good looks doesn't hurt, but personality is what I look for.

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cupcake
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Mine's close to my height, and I'm about 5'6"
I can honestly say his height's not something I think about much...or ever.

I was thinking about this..and then it hit me liek a brick (well not QUITE as hard) I'm really very attracted to the activist-type guys. Clean activist guys. Or a bit artsy..I saw a pic in my trash magazines yesterday...It made me nearly swoon. Very art-refugee-activist.

And slightly dorky guys. It's not a conscious thing.


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Rizzo
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My boyfriend is shorter than me. I don't mind it. It kind of makes me feel powerful, actually, even though he's stronger.

As for my attraction preferences... they vary greatly. I like body types that range from moderately thin to stocky (boys) or curvy (girls). A nice face is very important. I usually prefer deep coloured eyes. I love longish hair on boys... I think it says a lot. I like the androgynous look (for males and females). I also like girls who look like me (except prettier). I'm least keen on blondes. But I'm very flexible on everything, because personality matters greatly.


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KandyKorn17
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I LOVE shorter guys. I think that is so hot! Hehe.

And with girls, it's all about the hips...


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Dzuunmod
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Lemme throw something else at you.

For those of you who are sexually attracted to men, do y'all have a preference about circumcision?

This is something that most men didn't have a say in, of course, so I think it applies.

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"Love is blind, and I don't blame her/'cause lately I ain't been too much to see/I'd ask a girl home, but I'd have to pay her..."
-Old '97s Ray Charles


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lemming
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I've never been with an uncircumsized guy, but sometimes I wish that my boyfriend was. Why? Because I feel kind of angry about it, that something unnecessary was done to his body and he didn't have any say in it. But he says he's accepted it - since, after all, it's done and he can't do anything about it. Meh.
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Gumdrop Girl
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likewise, i've never had an uncircumcised partner, but i have asked my boyfriend about the matter, and he's *proud* of his trimmed penis. in fact, i can't say i've ever talked to a guy who was angry about his circumcision. granted, they can't miss what they were never aware they had. nonetheless, my boyfriend reports that he still gets sexual pleasure, and he likes the way his organ looks. since i'm not the one with a penis, i probably shouldn't argue with him over things like that *shrug* ehh, i actually don't have a problem with circumcision, and i suppose *yes* i prefer them (but consider this an unsubstantiated claim since i've never tried the alternative).

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"Things are only fragile till they break."


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Beppie
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Since whether or not a man was circumscized would have no bearing on whether or not I'd be likely to have sex with him, or whether or not I'd want to, I don't think I could be said to have any sexual preference at all in that area.
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en_particular
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For some reason I always lean towards the really tall, abnormally thin guys with tiny muscles and a small chest. Ilike longish hair, kind of like a retro 70's look. Also, little imperfection in teeth like slight spaces or a crooked tooth are really cute, if you do it right. I like tight pants and tight shirts.

Personality wise they have to be intelligent, voice their opinions and feel strongly about their beliefs, they have to know how to have have fun, but be serious too. I like a guy who takes things seriously. Also, someone who can be open with their emotions and tell me when something is wrong, and if I do something wrong. Honesty is key. They should also be creative in some way.

For girls, body type isn't that big a deal, there are some that i don't like but i like either tall and thin, short and thin or short and just a tad chubby. Girl who wear their makeup the right way and with short hair. Eyes.., big smoldering eyes make me melt. Nose rings also, make me swoon. On thin girls, protruding hipbones and small breasts are cute.

Personality wise the same thing, i love a creative girl.

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hearts can never be owned. hearts only come on loan. if i want it back, i will take it back. i'll take my heart.


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sapphirecat
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quote:
Originally posted by Gumdrop Girl:
granted, they can't miss what they were never aware they had.

But if I'm aware I once had it, then I can wonder about what it might've been like. That's what bothers me about it... that I can never experience the alternative firsthand.

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Sapphire Cat, a feline who can be both pink and blue...


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~jess~
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i actually am attracted to bigger guys and taller. I like black hair. I find myself attracted to any one who resemble my last crush. weather if they have ance like him. i dont know, its weird.
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DC_WillowFan
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Hey !
It's been a long time since I haven't been in here. Well, I find an interesting topic.

So, about preferences. Well, I tend to prefer brunettes, with long curly hair, although I can't deny that a cute blonde is always welcome. Doesn't need to be thin, just average is acceptable too.

But I guess the major physical turn on would be the face. It's just that I need a cute well shaped face. Make-up is usually good but natural can be very good too.

For the looks and attitude, I've always liked calm, slightly shy girls, maybe because I'm the same. But lately, I've been mostly looking towards the rebel type; which include the rock-punk girl, or the "goth" ones, except smokers.

Of course, like a lot of people said, intelligence is a must, sense of humor is appreciated, and romantic is a plus.

So, if you look at celebrities, my type would be like Jennifer Love Hewitt. The sweet, cute, funny girl.

David

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- I hope I shall be able to confide in you completely, as I have never been able to do in anyone before, and I hope that you will be a great support and comfort to me.

Anne Frank to her journal
(1929-1945)


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BruinDan
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quote:
Originally posted by Gumdrop Girl:
nonetheless, my boyfriend reports that he still gets sexual pleasure, and he likes the way his organ looks...

...and I can vividly remember him saying that at one of our patented Debaucherous Barbecues a few months back.

I was not consciously aware of my preference until a few years ago. I was moving at the time, and came upon a box full of pictures of girls I had dated or had crushes on. Seventeen in total, covering a period from about 1991 through 2000. It dawned on me that all of them looked alike! Almost eerie to see the progression, to be truthful.

All were brunettes, half with bangs and half without (and I can remember begging the half without to grow them, heehee), all of a similar love-letter-writing style, and all with infectious giggles. I failed to notice it at the time, but I clearly had one solid type I was after, and I stuck with that for a full decade. Breast size varied (as they tend to do), and I really have no preference whatsoever. I've never dated a woman with breast implants, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I tend to be attracted to women who are comfortable enough with their bodies not to get them. Hair length varied somewhat too, though I've always preferred it long enough to be braided or pigtailed or have cute things put into. Other than that though, my little preference held perfectly tight.

Until I began dating a blonde.

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BruinDan, "Number Three"

"Battery Stolen; Youth Charged"


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Dzuunmod
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What do you all think it means that when someone is in a relationship with someone of a different race, many people (rightly or wrongly) look at the couple (or more) and think that one of them must only be interested in the other because they like Asians, or blacks, or whites?

What does it say about our society that while that goes on frequently, no one looks at people who only date partners of the same race and thinks that that person must be racist, and afraid to date blacks, or Asians, or whites?

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"Love is blind, and I don't blame her/'cause lately I ain't been too much to see/I'd ask a girl home, but I'd have to pay her..."
-Old '97s Ray Charles


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Rizzo
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About race... almost all my crushes have been on white people. I think that's partly because they're the people I'm most in contact with (the ethnic diversity at my school isn't fantastic), but also because of stereotypes I have of different races. I know that there are exceptions, and my experience is very limited, but many black and arab guys I've met seem to have a lower opinion of feminism, and that's a major stumbling block for me. (I'm gonna get a lot of heat for saying that, but please realize that this is just my experience. I have met some exceptions to this. Also, many white guys have a low opinion of feminism too.)

Oookay... the other sexual preference I have, that I feel a little bit guilty about, is the fact that I prefer guys with no facial hair (except eyebrows and eyelashes, haha). It makes me feel like a big hypocrite. I don't shave anything, and yet I expect guys to? I don't know how to resolve this inner conflict. Maybe I should stick with girls (just kidding, Dzuun!)


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lemming
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Rizzo, I hear you about the facial hair thing. I have the same conflict: I don't shave, why should I expect him to? But I really, really like a clean-shaven face on a guy. Right now the boy has a little goatee-thing, but I've drawn the line firmly at a mustache. They hurt too much to kiss
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faelori
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Oof.

For guys: I like tall with dark or blond hair and green or brown eyes. Nice chests are very good. Lean, but not flabby, and DEFINITELY not with big muscles. That turns me off so much.

For girls: Small and slim - as somebody said earlier, people think I'm all prejudice and stuff because of it - with straight, dark hair, fair skin, green or brown eyes. She doesn't have to be very curvy at all, but I like to be able to tell she's not a guy. ^_^

So, yeah. That's what I like.


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