I got it now, and I appreciate your asking.
The best way I know how to answer your question is that we ask that discussions and approaches at Scarleteen be open to every users OWN choices, ideologies and beliefs.
Meaning that if I were to say, for instance, that I feel not me, but EVERYONE should remain abstinent until marriage, I would essentially be saying and assuming the following:
1) Everyone believes in marriage, sees marriage as a sexual union or even a sexual/romantic bond or even has marriage in their cultural tradition or personal beliefs.
2) Everyone wants to marry at some point, or is ABLE to marry at some point should they want to.
3) Everyone's cultural traditions of marriage or union, should they have them or ascribe to them, hold sexual celibacy of any or all types prior to marriage as an ideal.
4) Everyone defines sex as the same thing, or as heterosexual intercourse, or what have you.
...and none of those things are so for everyone here, or even for a lot of people all around the world. Assuming they are so is basically a sort of intolerance which makes it very hard for most users to feel safe discussing their issues here.
So, if you can't come to the boards with the understanding that all users get to make their own choices, and that when made with their own and their partners best interests at heart, all of those choices are valid, then no, putting forth what are your choices for yourself, based on your individual mores, religious beliefs or what have you, an ideal which you feel everyone should ascribe to really isn't okay, anymore than it would be okay for us to say we feel all teens or adults really should be sexually active and that being so is better than being celibate (which we do not).
Our general mission here at Scarleteen, in the most general sense, is to provide as much relevant and useful information for our user base -- as we know it -- as we can. That given, since we have many users who are sexually active, yet also many who are not yet, or who are in degrees, as well as plenty of users who may be active or inactive at any given time, and many levels of cultural, religious, social and other diversities, we try and make it the most comfortable and applicable to all of those groups. Thusly, both the boards and the site have information that is applicable to EACH user whether they choose to be sexually active or not. That is even why when discussing things like birth control and safer sex, you will not hear myself or other staff say things like, "You should do this or that," but rather, "If you do not want this or that result, and these are the choices you are making (or are not, or may), this is the information for you to evaluate to make your choices with so that whatever choice you make, it is as informed a choice as possible."
If, on the other hand, you want to talk about your own choices, how they effect you, and how you're working with them and talk to others making the same or similar choices with the understanding that they are no better or worse than anyone else's choices, than you are completely welcome to do that. For instance, tallking about how celibacy benefits you or how it's hard for you at times, or how you use it as an excellent safer sex method, or how you see your sexuality working within your own religious or personal beliefs are all just fine. That is a lot of what the boards are, in fact, here for, with all of the diversity of choices, beliefs and practices here.
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen
My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson
[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 12-27-2001).]