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Author Topic: Tell me everything will be fine?
Alergnon
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I really messed up. I have no idea. I'm crying.

Last week my cousin offered me a job and I was interested in it, then I slept with a co-worker, it was unprotected, he is 36. I'm 19. I could be pregnant.

I accepted the offer and I am leaving next Wednesday taking a 10 hour train ride there including having a layover. She is only keeping me for a month and if it's a good fit she will take me for two months or longer. What if she doesn't want me and I come back, come back with nothing, no where to live?

I told my landlord and I said sorry for the short notice, it's a job she should be happy for me, I live off Government Assist. She told me I have to be out by Thursday. I already paid for this month and she can't kick me out. She thinks I'm living here for free, I'm not I have proof when my rent goes for. She also is complaining she has no money. I don't have shit all. I have what a dollar in my bank account.

I just wanted out of where I live. I'm leaving my Church family my friends, and my mistakes behind for all this. To start fresh. I'm in credit card debt. I'm handling this the best I can. I have to leave soon for a meeting and I'm balling my eyes out not knowing what to do with all this shit.

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Onionpie
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Hi Alergnon, I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a rough time in life right now.

Can I ask if you've taken any steps around the possible pregnancy (and STI risks)? Often situations can be even more stressful if we feel like we have no control over them -- did you take plan B after your risk, and are you aware of all of your options and access to services if you do turn out to be pregnant? If you didn't take plan B and you're not sure of the options that are available to you, I'd suggest talking to your doctor ASAP, as that conversation could really help you out.

I definitely understand that moving and getting a new job can be so stressful, especially when nothing is guaranteed. Have you talked to your landlord, family, or friends for potential living arrangements for if the job doesn't last as long as you would like it to? I know it can feel pretty sucky to ask family or friends to take you in when you're having trouble finding a living space, but sometimes it's just what we've gotta do.

And I'm really sorry to hear your landlord isn't being very understanding about all of this. Have you made sure she's aware that you've already paid for this month and thus she shouldn't be kicking you out so soon? If you have and she's still insisting you leave, do you have anywhere you could stay until you leave on wednesday, like with a friend or family member?

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Alergnon
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Last STI testing I got was last May, May 30th, 2011 to be exact.

No, I didn't take Plan B. I went to the hospital but they can't give it out so the doctor wrote me a script and I took it to the Pharmacy but the Pharmacy I use is closed on weekends, and I didn't have 33 bucks on me. I still had a window for Monday but something came up and I couldn't go to the Health Unit to receive it for free. I am seeing a nurse practitioner this Friday morning to go over test results I had gotten last week, I can bring up the unprotected sex with her. But I would be outta town to really do anything, so I would have to buy a test where I have moved to or find my way to a clinic in a massive city that is the Capitol of Canada...

My landlord said I can stay till the end of the month but she has to come and pick up the keys due to she will be away and unable to pick them up, so she is picking them up Friday. I have to now make arrangements with my roommates of when I am leaving and coming back so they can open/lock the door for me. It sucks because then my roommates will know when I left and when I got back, etc., but what else am I suppose to do?

I think I should be fine with if working for my cousin didn't work out beyond a month, I'm not really going to spend my money on anything, besides a 20 dollar phone card for the month and to pay some of my credit card bill, other than that, if something happened, I should be okay. I know a lot of people who would help me out or find a place. And to pay a bus or train ticket back, isn't a huge cost, like it's expensive but if I have to leave I know there will be a place for me when I return.

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Heather
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Alergnon, I figure you already know that we'd be glad to help you find a clinic in any city in Canada and how to get there, no problem. And in the interest of working harder to take care of yourself, I think you need to make that a priority as soon as you can, okay?

(Also, I'd thought you recently started a hormonal birth control method: am I getting that wrong?)

I hope, too, you're going to talk to your counselor about the problems it seems like you're still having around making choices, especially sexual choices, compulsively, choices that do tend to just derail you more, and put more potential obstacles in the way to a different life for yourself.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Alergnon
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Hey Heather!

Yea that would be cool. My cousin is fine with me seeing a counselor/therapist, I told her. She supports me. So my therapist where I am living now said I can find a new therapist where I am moving to for the time I am away and when or if I return I can go back and see him. There is this town or something near where my cousin is moving to, outside of the capitol city of Canada. So, I will be in the capitol city for about a month and then she is moving.

When I went to the Pharmacy, it wasn't covered and I didn't have money. Then my busy schedule got in the way of going to a clinic and getting it for free. I would of started it about a week ago or something, because I started my period on Wednesday 13th and stopped the morning of 22nd, and that is when I had unprotected sex, well it was the 23rd at 2am-3am. Have no idea if my risk is high, low or something because of my period finishing.

I think getting away for a bit will help me better control myself and sexual desires. I know I still need to talk to a counselor/therapist and I will look for one where I am moving to.

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Alergnon
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13th to the 15th... sorry... of when my period was.
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Alergnon
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urgh.. and the 15th was when i had unprotected sex. I have important dates coming up that are in my head... sorry.
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Heather
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For sure, a move by itself isn't likely to magically change your behaviour. By all means, if where you're at is somewhere where you have those patterns firmly established, a move can help, but probably only if it's paired with professional help to help you change YOU, not just the place you're at physically.

And I'd be sure to bring things up with your current or new therapist like taking the time to get BC, to ask us so many questions about how to use it, but then not following through on actually doing so. Sure, we get busy, but I strongly suspect self-sabotage is also a big part of this picture, probably bigger than being busy (especially since time was still found to ask about the BC, to seek out a sexual partner and engage in sex, etc.). Being real with yourself about stuff like that is going to be important in changing things for yourself.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Onionpie
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Alergnon: I live in the capital of canada and know the local clinics, so I can help you out with that [Smile]
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copper86
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I'm not sure if other forum members (who aren't volunteers or staff) can post here other than the original poster, so please forgive me if I am out of line! Alergnon, I am thinking of you and hoping that you are doing okay. I know you're going through a very tough time; and my heart goes out to you. I truly hope that you are having a better day today!

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"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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Alergnon
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Heather: Your right. If I had the time to engage in sexual intercourse unprotected with someone older I should of had time to get some form of birth control. This morning I saw the nurse practitioner to go over some blood work I had gotten last Friday. All tests came back to be okay, very well, just my iron level was low but not that it would cause alarm. She also did a pap test and pregnancy test, which came back which she thought it would because it was early to tell.

Onionpie: That would be great. My cousin lives in that town beside there (still call it the capitol city) that area starts with the letter 'N' and she is moving to another place a month after I'm there and it's South of the capitol city about 30mins away, that place starts with a 'A'. Sorry if that is confusing, but since you live in the area you may know what I am referring to.

copper86: My day has been going very well. I called my co-op placement saying a personal matter had came up and couldn't come in, well, I needed to sort some things out before I move. Then, made an appointment and got in to see the psychiatrist today, explained my situation and he had an opening. I went to Church and helped out there for a bit, went to this counseling service to say hello to the staff who took care of me while I was in a group home (that group home closed and they went to the counseling service) it was very nice to see them.

Life in General: Yesterday I did have time to read I just needed to think before replying. I spent 4hours going threw my things and sorting it, to what I need to bring to donating to garbage. I still have more to get rid of. Right now just throwing things out and putting things to go to a donation center. Most of my night will be that.

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Heather
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I'm glad that you're able to have self-awareness about that disconnect. That kind of recognition of self-sabotage is basically the first step towards learning how to approach all pf this differently, so yay. [Smile]

Just as an extra step in doing these things for yourself, how about you go into Google, and enter "sexual health clinic" or 'sexual healthcare" and the city you're looking for a clinic in? We can help, too, but I think taking these steps for yourself is really essential, just like following up with the BC was after we answered all your questions about it and gave you the tools you needed to use it, okay?

If your searching doesn't give you results, let's help, but I want to make sure we're also not enabling you not to take care of yourself.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Alergnon
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I looked online in the surrounding area where my Cousin will be moving to a month after I arrive. There really isn't a whole lot. I did find a sexual clinic not far, but I would have to walk down a road which takes a car a 10mins drive to. I haven't yet looked to see if they have any bus services in the area. I do know, when I was looking at the map, there's a hospital close by. I could always go there and ask for help.

So my landlord has the keys to my room and the front door, so now I have to knock or text a roommate to open the door for me, I find it awkward, knowing when I am coming back, I can lock the door as I leave but I can't open it. But, it's for only a few days. I went out and came back at 6am and texted a roommate saying I'll be there in 5mins. I texted again when I was waiting, then knocked, one of my roommates opened the door for me.

I have a strange question, I've looked it up online but I'm getting different answers. So, I engaged in sexual intercourse and my partner pulled out and squeezed his penis and fluid came out. He cleaned where the fluid went, which was on me, then wiped his penis and continued. He did the same thing again. Then he told me it's embarrassing. I asked what was embarrassing. He told me he had peed. I just said, "okay," so my question is, how come I felt fluid inside of me and when he pulled out more came out? Can a guy really pee inside someone? Maybe I didn't feel the fluid inside (could of been something else) and the fluid seemed clear and very watery because it ran down me. Could this have a risk of infection for him peeing on/near my vagina? Why does it happen?

I am going to look some more on resources in the area and bus information as well.

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Onionpie
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Alergnon: No worries, I did understand where you're talking about. And the city has a pretty decent bus service that does have several buses going out to "N".

There are quite a few clinics in the city itself, and they're pretty easy to find (as heather said, google will have quite a few results). They're also easy to get to (google maps and the city bus system's website [google "octranspo"] always have decent directions), and the bus ride there from N isn't too long.

I live further out from the city than that and still have an easy time getting to downtown, so you should be fine [Smile]

For when you move out to A, busing downtown WILL be harder -- however, there are some clinics (mostly walk-in clinics -- but they will also be able to help you) in the nearby towns that are closer than the main city. So google the nearby towns/areas (there are two decent size ones between A and the main city that I know well, and I know of at least a couple of clinics in both places) and you should be able to find something.

The city's main bus system also has rural partner systems that go all the way out to A, so although it will be harder, you will still be able to find a route to the city. Good luck, and hope this helped point you in the right direction [Smile]

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Alergnon
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Hey Onionpie:

Hey, thank you. I will start looking this stuff up soon. Just feeling tired and lazy at the moment, have to get myself to go through my stuff and what not some more.

Thank You [Smile]

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Alergnon
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So, this afternoon I went to a Youth Shelter (youth homeless shelter)to talk to the staff there (I've been there a few times) and my favorite staff worker was working. I told her the good news of me moving and having a job. Well, she was outside while I came up to the door, and I said, "I have some very very good news," she's like okay com'on inside. I sat down. And I'm like, "I'm moving! I got a job!" Well, she was like... I thought you were coming to say your pregnant. I laughed. While I was there before, I had a pregnancy scare and I had told her this. Well anyways, I kept explaining, then she is like, "Your face is glowing." I'm like, "Glowing?" She then said, yea like your really happy and excited.

I am freaking out now. I mean, I don't know if it's just in movies or something, but in the movies I've seen in the past... it's a sign of pregnancy. Is this true? No one has ever said that comment to me before. Any knowledge on this theory?

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Redskies
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Alergnon, hi. I wouldn't worry about the glowing thing. I believe that some pregnant people can have hormonal changes that have that effect, but I've heard other pregnant people complain about how much the opposite of glow-y they were. For you, though, I think the big thing is that happiness can Definitely create a glowing effect. When I've talked to people about something that I was really, really happy and excited about, they said I was glowing...and I definitely wasn't pregnant. People usually think we look better and more well when we have a happy expression, and also, feeling happy is good for our physical well-being, so we might actually genuinely Be a bit better when we feel happier.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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Alergnon
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Okay, so I went to the hospital because I'm experiencing pain in my back side and stomach ever since I had unprotected sex. They did a pelvic exam and said I just had a little discharge. I also did a urine test for them. The doctor came back and said that my urine showed a infection. He wrote me a script and gave me the first dose while I was there. Now, I'm taking antibiotics for a infection in my urine. I got scared because he's like, "so is the guy you had sex with is he your boyfriend," I'm like no. He didn't say anything. I have to go back Tuesday evening to find out my tests results of these other tests. Explained I'm moving up North and that, I guess they put my tests on rush so they're back before I leave and if anything was abnormal since I'll be 9 hours away.
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copper86
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This is only my opinion, but I don't think the doctor had any right to ask if your sexual partner was your boyfriend; and his silence afterwards was also uncalled for and unnecessary. That is not his concern; as he is your doctor and is responsible for your health, and that is the extent of his involvement. It makes me quite angry that he did that. It is unprofessional.

I'm so sorry that you have an infection; and I will be thinking of you as you go through this. You're being very brave - you should be so proud of yourself! Try to relax and take some time for you. I hope you're doing okay!

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"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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Alergnon
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Hey copper86,
Yea it was a bit weird when he had asked that question. I don't want to go to my co-op placement, I have today and tomorrow at my placement, just I need to go threw my things still and pack. Also, have to drop my scripts off at the Pharmacy. I really hope this medication he gave me will clear things up for me because I wont have any money once I move for work until 2 weeks in next month. I'm also feeling sick, my stomach hurts and my back side does.

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Alergnon
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So, I have a question; I have a infection in my urine and soon I'm picking up my meds for it (the one the doctor gave me wasn't covered so the Pharmacy called the hospital requesting a new form of antibiotic that is covered so I can receive treatment)how would I know if my infection has gone away? Like, this pain sucks and I really don't need a kidney infection. I really don't care if I have to go to a hospital while I'm living with my cousin if it never got better, just the cost of buying the medication would be tough, I will be getting some money mailed to me on the second week of July and I would use that. Just how would I know if I needed to go back? If the pain never subsided at all? I've never had a infection in my urine before, I've been misdiagnosed a couple of years ago with a bladder infection later found out it wasn't a bladder infection. What strikes me the most is they never did any blood work to see if my kidneys are okay, since my urine showed a infection.
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Karybu
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Doing further tests to check kidney function isn't really standard procedure unless a patient is complaining of symptoms which may be caused by a kidney infection, or there's another reason to think the kidneys might be affected.

If your symptoms haven't gone completely by the time you finish the full course of antibiotics, or if they come back again, then you'll need to go back to the doctor to see if the infection is gone or not. Usually kidney infections aren't something to be concerned about if a urinary tract infection (bladder infection) is diagnosed and treated early - it's only when they go untreated that the infection can spread to the kidneys.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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copper86
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I hope you're doing okay, Alergnon. I've been thinking about you - how are you doing today?

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"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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Alergnon
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Hey copper86:

Yesterday was busy for me, 11 and half hour train ride up North was exciting. I'm doing very well, I'm busy helping my cousin out with a bunch of things. Right now my allergies are so horrible, but trying natural remedies then if they don't help, I'll take allergy pills. So much to do in the day, can't wait till we move again to a house, right now sharing her apartment with her. She also told me she is buying a Driver Manual and getting me my beginners for me, excited.

I'm feeling better, the antibiotics seem to be working wonders have a few more days left on them, my stomach hurts here and there but it's once in a blue moon now.

I am going to look into clinics here in town. I'm just not ready to explain to my cousin I need to go to a clinic, a sexual clinic. She knows I'm going to look into therapy, we talked today a little about my family life, not going into detail.

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Alergnon
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Okay my cousin is taking me to a clinic soon because my stomach severely kills. I haven't told her about the unprotected sex, if there is an issue where if I become pregnant I just may have to tell her because I am working for her and living with her on her rules. I felt like I was going to vomit, the feeling sick was painful, it is now gone, had the pain for 30-45mins. I really hope it's just the infection and not pregnancy, it's been 3 weeks since I last had unprotected sex. I'm not scared or worried. I'll post back after I'm back from the clinic and helping my cousin.
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Alergnon
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The Doctor at the clinic said I should be eating food with the medication I'm on- Antibiotic. He said a meal should reduce/eliminate the pain in my stomach. He said the medication I'm on is used for STI's mostly, that it's common to use it for that. Hmmm, wondering if I have a STI and wasn't told I did, kinda bothers me a little bit.

They did a pregnancy test and came back negative, so I'm not worried or scared of pregnancy.

Just this STI thing is bugging me, that they never told me what one, they just said I have a infection in my urine and this medication will clear it up.

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Heather
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You would have been informed if you had an STI.

My guess is your UTI was severe enough that instead of giving you the more standard, gentle antibiotic for it they usually prescribe, they gave you the big guns to tackle it, that's all.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Alergnon
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It has been a day since I finished the antibiotics and the pain is coming back already. I felt like vomiting and still do, this isn't an emergency to rush to a hospital and I think the clinics are closed by now, plus my cousin doesn't have a car and I have no idea where the hospital would be at or how to get there. Maybe it's menstrual cramps (which I never get)it's been 19 days since my last period stopped and when I had unprotected sex... then a week after had unprotected sex again.

At this point I'm just going to ignore the pain, take something, have PMS pills I bought a long time ago but I'm apposed to taking any pain management pills.

Have no idea what I am asking or looking for right now. I'm just lost and confused to if this infection came back or if it was a infection.

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copper86
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Hi Alergnon,

I see that you are living in Canada now, correct? This definitely does not replace an in-person doctor's visit, but you could attempt calling Telehealth. I know they have locations in Ottawa and Toronto. Their website says it's a free call; but I'm not sure if that depends on where in Canada you are or if it just has to be within Ontario in order for it to be free. You can contact a registered nurse and be able to ask them questions; so though it might not be as good as going to a clinic, it might be able to point you in the right direction should your pain continue. I hope you feel better soon!

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"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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Alergnon
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Member # 93204

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I'm in Canada, ON. Been living in the same province since I was born.
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copper86
Peer Ambassador
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Then you can definitely call Telehealth. [Smile] I recommend it. The only thing is that if you call in the afternoon or evening, you might be put on hold for a while. But they'd ask you whether you'd like to stay on the line or they could call you back later. [Smile]

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"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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