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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » The Randoms » In your own opinion, what sexuality would you consider me to be.

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Author Topic: In your own opinion, what sexuality would you consider me to be.
Member # 77394

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[Confused] At the beginning of summer, a girl that I don't talk to much (and don't like) called me a lesbian. I don't have friends to hang out with during the summer so the only thing I've had to do was stress over that comment. Before that girl said anything, I knew I was straight. I've never had a crush on a girl but I've had crushes on men ever since kindergarten. My mind sometimes wanders and I fantasize about women and sometimes I find them attractive but I don't think I could ever go out with one/make out/hit on one and definitely couldn't spend the rest of my life with one. I WANT to have a boyfriend (never had one) and I want a husband and children when I'm older. But now I'm not sure who I am anymore. When I go to highschool in September I'm hoping all of this will go away and I'll start having crushes on boys again and not questioning my sexuality. I'm worried that I've been thinking so much about it that I might actually be convincing myself that I'm interested in girls. Usually when I used to see a pretty girl I'd get jealous and she'd instantly be my enemy/rival. I had a crush just this year on a boy, too, but I found out he was a player and stopped paying attention to him. Do you think that when school starts I'll be back to my normal self? What happens is one minute I've convinced myself that I am straight and I'm back to my normal, happy self. Then the next minute my mind plays tricks on me and I think stuff like "If something like this can upset you this much then it's probably true" and I'm depressed again. The reason this has me so upset is because I get OCD from my mom and I have paranoia. I overreact about alot of things and this is one of those things. If it turned out that I was interested in girls I'd probably date men anyways (this has nothing to do with what people will think of me- but how I want myself to live and how I wwant to and I feel most comfortable with a man) I have nothing against Bi/Lesbians/Gays but I would never want to be one. Your response is appreciated! Please help me. [Frown]
I've asked questions similar to this (again, OCD) on Y!Answers here are the links: http:

[ 08-28-2011, 02:21 AM: Message edited by: Sunako ]

Posts: 1 | From: Canada | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 40774

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Hi Sunako,

We can't tell you what your sexual orientation is--that's only something you can know, though it sounds like you're attracted to men. I'm sorry you're so stressed out about this. When you're feeling paranoid are there any grounding techniques that work for you?

Can you talk at all about why you don't want to be attracted to women? I hear you saying that you have "nothing against" LGB people, but it sounds like you have a very strong aversion. Can you say more about why that is? What would it mean if you were attracted to women? If you wanted to be in a relationship with a woman, what would happen and how would you feel?

I know what you mean about this line of thinking: "If something like this can upset you this much then it's probably true." And I disagree with it. Things can upset us for a host of reasons. It seems anxiety disorders can definitely teach us that.

Something to remember about sexuality is that the whole point is doing things we're drawn to do. So, if something isn't appealing to us, we don't have to do it. Which brings me back to wondering: Why would it be bad if you were attracted to women?

[ 08-28-2011, 11:09 AM: Message edited by: bluejumprope ]

without tenderness, we are in hell. -Adrienne Rich

Posts: 407 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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