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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » The Randoms » confidence

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Author Topic: confidence
Member # 51877

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Not sure if this is the site to post this question, but I am 16 and I have confidence issues. I can't seem to talk to new people at all,and I know that lots of people are nervous when they first start to talk to someone, but I was just wondering if you had ay tips on how to boost confidence:) i have decent self esteem, considering my age, but i feel as though i am letting myself down and holding myself back:/?
Posts: 18 | From: Newcastle | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

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I think everyone finds it tough (at least sometimes) talking to new people, so you're definitely not alone there, but some of us do find it harder than others. Personally - and I know this may not be what you want to hear - I've found that practice is the best way of getting through that. When I was working with a therapist in university, trying to get through my social anxiety (among other things), she suggested one thing that you may want to try: have a friend or someone you feel comfortable talking to introduce you to someone else, get the conversation going, and then when it's established, that person can leave so that you're one-on-one with the person you've just met.

That's just one strategy, but have you ever considered talking to a counsellor or therapist about this? They're so useful when it comes to helping develop strategies for dealing with things like confidence issues, so that may be something to look into.

(I'm going to move this to one of the general areas of the boards so you can get some more input, rather than just staff and volunteer replies, okay?)

[ 01-18-2011, 01:21 PM: Message edited by: Karybu ]

"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Scarleteen Volunteer
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It helped me a lot when I finally let myself believe "you are worthy of being known." Make it a mantra of sorts if you need to. Remind yourself as often as you need that you are totally worthy of being seen, heard, acknowledged and experienced, just like everybody else.

Once I let myself know that it was a lot easier to go up to people and introduce myself, or throw out an idea, or talk in class - after all, why were my ideas any worse than the ideas of the person next to me?

Hey folks, my name is Andrew and I was a mod here for awhile a couple years ago. I'll be here for a couple weeks while Heather is out and the site is even more short-staffed than usual

Posts: 441 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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