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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » The Randoms » The Bad Day Rant

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Author Topic: The Bad Day Rant
Cian
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Because I am having an awful day adding to my awfully stressing life, I just need to get things off my chest.

Problem. No apartment in the fall.
Why? Because I can't undo my lease on the one I'm currently living in until the end of August. All studio flats are currently on the housing market and in this city, there are very few studios (single room)available. They're going to go now, not later, because people are not willing to wait until they let. Why would they keep their apartments empty for a couple of months when there are people who want to let right now?

By autumn, all studio flats will be gone. I know this from experience, had I not rented this apartment from a friend who went on her exchange year in Japan, I'd been without a housing solution.
So now I'm facing the same conundrum, only this time because I can't afford to pay two rents for the summer and can't end this let I currently have until fall.

No apartment in the fall = no more university.
No more university = no more student benefits
No benefits = no income (I've applied for every job I can find with no luck whatsoever, because I don't have sufficient education or experience)
No income = living on the street
Living on the street = I'm not strong enough.

I'm really stressed out by this. My life has always been a struggle to struggle and it's really starting to wear me out. I haven't had suicidal thoughts since my teens and while I know I'm too scared of death to actually do anything to myself, lately I've been having self destructive thoughts again because I'm just getting so tired of always having to fight and never having time to just breathe easy and say "hey, my close future looks pretty secure."

I'm really, really tired and cry-y.

Posts: 239 | From: Europe | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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While I know you're upset, this probably doesn't have to go the way you're seeing it go. Having been on-street and also close to it at other times before, there are a LOT of steps in between you can take and some options which will probably result in you avoiding that, including subletting, commuting from where you live now and a whole host of options.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cian
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I am subletting currently. I have a dog, so few people are available for having me as their roommate (also the reason why I don't get student housing. I'm in their studio-apartment line, but it's a year and a half long and I've only had my application in for a few silly months.)
I've applied for council flats and every other agency I know but I'm not all too hopeful, they let in May and June, not so much in the fall.
By August, the new student base is looking for apartments, making my house seeking all the more difficult.
What also bums is that I can't afford a rent higher than 450$ (+electricity and water) without compromising my ability to feed and properly care for my dog. (Me, I can live on porridge and dust.) $460 is in the cheapest range of rents in this city.

I can live at my sister's, but that'd not be ideal considering school, as they live in a 1 and a half bedroom flat with their two under-four children, two dogs and a cat. I need some peace and quiet in order to sleep and do schoolwork.

But yes, it's entirely possible I'm blowing everything out off proportion. Right now I just feel like finding myself some hidey-hole and dying there just so I can get some rest.

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Heather
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If you want to talk through more options with this once you've gotten some rest and venting-time off your chest, I'd be happy to do that some. We need to try and keep topics here in the scope of sex education, so I don't want to get too deep into it, but I can talk some on this.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Cian
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It's alright, Heather. I realize there's plenty of options for me. None of them ones that I like or want, but options all the same. (ie. shared housing. I don't really like people in my "zone", but I realize that when the options are people in my zone or the street, there's really no room for argument.)
I tend to be very hard headed, it'll probably be my own undoing. I know I want my own flat, I'd prefer one that is roomy enough so I can fit more than a bed in there, and money is an issue. However, I am in no place to make demands. I'll be lucky to have a roof over my head in the fall.

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Heather
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In my experience, few people, save the very independently wealthy, are in the position to have their first places away from home be sans-housemates.

I honestly can't think of anyone I know, including myself, who didn't live with housemates for at least their first couple places. While I've been able to live alone a few times in my own life, that has usually either meant a) living in truly awful neighborhoods or places or b) some kind of barter, Like, the last place I lived alone, I took on being the maintainence person for my building to reduce my rent. I know plenty of people who have never been able to afford to live alone, even into their 40's and 50's.

Who knows, even if you've a preference for living alone (which I get, I have it, too) you might find living with housemates is good for you in some ways.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Cian
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Over here, it's perfectly normal for students to be living alone in single flats because of government paid student benefit-- however, the demand far surpasses the supply. I too have lived alone for a year now and I thoroughly enjoy being by myself (and my dog.)
I'm currently in the housing queue for student flats, but the line is long (a year and a half).

But anyway. No point mulling over it. I know I won't have a satisfactory housing arrangement as fall rolls by. All these difficulties are really bringing out the worst in me. I'm constantly in a terrible mood, have suicidal thoughts, just overall tired with life.

Sorry to take up your time, Heather. I don't think I can be helped, I just get whiny when I face problems.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I understand, but at the same time, suggesting you will become homeless or choose that rather than taking a roommate is....well, I don't think I have to say that's pretty extreme.

And if someone is here telling us they may become homeless, we really can't not respond.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Cian
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I know, Heather.
No worry, I just needed to get it off my chest because I'm really upset about it. Thanks for your time.

Posts: 239 | From: Europe | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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