God, I *so* need to get this off my chest... I wouldn't dare tell my friends, since they'd think I was nuts. (Not that I'm not.. lol)
I'm an 11th grader with a major crush on my philosophy teacher. Actually, that's not the case: it's really more of a lust thing than any type of anything else. (Know what I mean?)I've got a huge thing for older guys- which sucks, because I don't want to do anything illegal, and, yet, they're the only type I tend to go for- and he's incredibly hot for a -?- thirty/maybe older guy.
Yeah, I know it's wrong. But as long as it's in my mind it's OK, right? I'm just wondering- am I the only one here, and a major weirdo, or have any of you guys been in the same situation?
It's not wrong to have a crush on anyone. It's simply not always right to act on those feelings, that's all.
Crushes on teachers happen to the best of us, and it's no real surprise. They're usually very intelligent people who have a good reppor with younger folks.
However, acting on it isn't just a matter of things being illegal. For a teacher to get involved with a student is unethical, even in the cases that it is legally okay.
Sometimes too, it's worth looking at when your attractions always lead us far outside our age group. It's usually telling us something -- in the case of seeking out people far older than us, it can mean that we're looking to be cared for or led, rather than engaging in mutually giving relationships, and that's not such a good thing.
i think the line blurs a bit when you get to college. the teachers assistants tend to be graduate students, so there's a matter of 3 to 7 years difference in age.
lately, i've noticed one of the TAs in a class i'm taking has been making an awful lot of small talk and he looks at me a lot during class. okay, the guy is attractive, and he's got this dead-sexy accent...
but we won't go there because for starters, i'm taken. and it's not right to do that sort of thing. it's just not right.
but once you're out of the class, there's not really anything wrong with it, is there?
------------------ if you get the molasses, i'll set up the trampoline.
Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000
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I actually think the thics of teacher-student relationships (like boss-employyee ones) have little to do with age.
It has to do with issues of power. It is difficult at best to be in a mutually balanced relationship with someone who can seriously control and affect your life outside of it. A boss or teacher cannot POSSIBLY evaluate someone fairly he or she is sleeping with, and you're going to have little room to complain if they do abuse that power.
In addition, MOST schools (even colleges) have in their job contracts that the teachers may not have affairs with students.
Just to clarify, I wouldn't *dream* of acting on it, not now and not later, because it *is* way wrong ethically long after it's acceptible legally.
And I know my attraction to older guys is some sort of a psycho-Freudian connection to my lack of a really good father figure growing up, Electra complex, blah, blah, blah, which is why I never act on these crushes. So don't worry about that.
However, it's undeniable that sometimes the stuff that is the most "wrong" is the most attractive. And, again... there's no harm in imagining.
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