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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » The Randoms » I think I'm a slut...

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Author Topic: I think I'm a slut...
Member # 699

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I'm only fifteen, and I seem to go as far as the guy wants to go (except sex) and almost every week, I wind up hanging out alone with a new guy I like and we end up doing almost everything but sex. When I'm with a guy I like, I like to kiss him and everything, then he just starts putting his hands in places and I don't bother to stop him. Only problem is, I tend to like a lot of guys. And most of them like me. But it's really hard for me to commit when I'm in a relationship. Even if I really love the guy and wouldn't want to go out with anybody but him, I get frustrated because I can't fool around with other guys, and I end up dumping him. I know your advice would be to "tone it down" but it's so hard! It's the urges that piss me off! What can I do?

please help

peace, music and anarchy

Posts: 67 | From: California, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 3

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Actually, Punk, I wouldn't tell you to tone it down.

Here's what I would tell you: sex should feel good on all levels -- physically, emotionally, ethically and intellectually. If the sex that you're having is okay with you in all those ways, and you're being responsible in the way that you practice it, it isn't my place or anyone else's to judge you on how many partners you have or how often you have sex. The only person whose place that is is you.

Perhps right now, to save yourself the frustration and the feeling that you're constantly screwing up, you should only get involved in more casual relationships where you can make clear you do not want exclusivity.

I'm going to take a wild guess and you can make another post or poke me in the nose if I'm wrong, but I'm guessing that what's got you so excited isn't the sex, but the attention and the feeling of being desired that it gives you. And that's okay, as long as you're really looking at that.

Sexual urges are pretty easy to take care of, you masturbate. And truth be told, if they are ONLY physical, that is the best way to take care of them when it comes to respect for yourself and others.

Lastly, intercourse isn't only sex. Oral sex is sex. Fingering or manual sex is sex. Kissing can be sex. Be sure that you know your risks for all of those things and are being responsible about them while you're figuring all of this out.

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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