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Author Topic: This guy and my parents...
Celise
Activist
Member # 196

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Ok, I asked this guy out and he said yes, so I am really excited about that, but my parents have to meet him first, my parents are, how can i say it?, living in the past. From the way my mom was talking she dosen't want me to be dating anybody that is not a virgin, and I think this guy is not a virgin, should I tell him to lie? because I know my mom will ask and if he says he isn't they will make a big deal out of it, and embarass us both. I know my mom and I don't think she cares about how anybody else feels in a situation. And also What is a good thing to do on a first date, some of my frieds said we needed to go somewhere we could talk, so we would know if we wanted to go on another date. Any good places? Thanks
Posts: 89 | From: Newton, NC, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MissKitty
Neophyte
Member # 222

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You say you think he's not so, you should find out for sure first. Also, that's a very personal part of someones life so maybe you should talk to your parents about embarrassing people. I don't want to tell you to lie but if there's no other way to get around it....
And if you want to talk you should go out to eat together or something like that.
If you're not talkative then the movies is the best place to go.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Quite honestly, I think he's entitled to say that his virginity is a personal matter. Really.

Your mother -- or anyone -- really should not be asking complete strangers about their sexual history, even if she is your mother and cares about you. That's just impolite and crossing the line. The polite response to someone who is asking that of you is simply that it is a personal matter.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
HotGrrl99
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Member # 105

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Wow! Your mom has chutzpah (nerve)! In the first place, how many boys today are actually virgins? It could take you years to even find one! Secondly, even if the boy really is a virgin, that doesn't mean that he is not super horny. He could be dying to get you into bed even more than the experienced guys, because he want's to finally lose his! Instead of bothering you about all of this personal sexual crap, your mom should be talking to you about safer sex and birth controls! Tell her that she needs to be more realistic.
Posts: 384 | From: Malibu, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wuwuwuwu1
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Member # 101

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Ya know, virgins aren't an extinct species. I am one, and alotta guys I know are too. Yes, guys and girls are horny, but that doesn't mean that everyone is gonna just have sex for the sake of losing it. What is with all the bias against males.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I'm going to agree with you, wu, I'm seeing the bias and I'm not comfortable with it at all.

Everyone: always take a minute to remember that your issues are usually not that different from anyone else's issues. A lot of the time that people have gender bias, it's simply because not BEING that gender, nor having experineced life on that side, they assume it must be the opposite of their experience. And that is rarely so.

I'm also going to take a second to point out that a lot of men and boys who DO act like stereotypical "mean" often do so because way too many people expect them to by stereotyping them.

Be wary when we post of making a war of the sexes where there just isn't one. All of us, no matter our gender, race or creed, deal with all the issues we discuss here.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
HotGrrl99
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Member # 105

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You're right Miz S. and wuwu, maybe I am kinda stereotyping guys. It's just that most of the ones that I meet seem that way. But I'm sure there are a lot of exceptions, or maybe it's just the way the boys are around where I am.
Posts: 384 | From: Malibu, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lightfoot
Neophyte
Member # 237

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You know some guys may be jerks. But alot of us aren't. I know that i can slip in and out of my "macho-ness" whenever I need it. One moment I can be sweet, cuddley, caring, and attractive and the next I can be the stereotypical male. From who I believe I am to what everyone percieves I am.

Don't always judge a book by its cover.


Posts: 9 | From: Dullsville, Texas, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
HotGrrl99
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Or a cover by it's book!
Posts: 384 | From: Malibu, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lightfoot
Neophyte
Member # 237

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Very true Hotgrrl99. Never though about it that away.
Posts: 9 | From: Dullsville, Texas, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pink_Lemonade_03
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Member # 277

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I think a fun first date would be going to a fair... or going to the zoo! That would be fun! And you need to talk to your mother about the questions she asks him because whether he has had past sexual experiences is really none of her business and will probably offend him greatly if she asks.
Posts: 140 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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