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Author Topic: Sexual encounters of the funny kind
StilQuackn
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I know my first sexual encounters were pretty funny. Neither of us knew what we were doing really. I'd appreciate it if everyone would share any funny stories they have about their first experiences.
Posts: 34 | From: Florida | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Helpful27
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I nearly busted out laughing when I read the topic title.

My first wasn't all that hilarious. We had discussed sex before, I brought it up again. She asked me if I loved her, I confessed my love for her, ran across the dorm to get a condom, and I think I lasted about 30 seconds. I got better, I swear. :P

I think what was funny is that it was dark and I couldn't see where to put it, and I aimed a little low. She rolled her eyes and said "wrong one."

I think the funniest experience was when she was straddling me while giving me a handjob. The head of most men's penises gets REAL sensitive after orgasm, and I'm no exception. I've always had to stop her from stroking me after orgasm. Well, this time she wasn't about to be stopped. I must have thrashed about like a kid at the doctor's office. She giggled herself blue at my expense. Odd thing is we could never find the semen. It must have flung somewhere in my thrashing about.


Posts: 46 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Etch
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thats hilarious helpful! i have never had a really funny sexual experience. me and my man talked about it in depth before we ever did anything. we knew what we wanted and we knew what each other wanted. so its been all god.

but my first kiss was one of the weirdest feelings ive ever had. see it was with my first boyfriend who knew i had never kissed before. not even little kisses. but he didnt care enough to actually be slow about it. so one day we were alone outside and he just started to kiss me. he just stuck his tongue in my mouth like i knew what to do! i just started busting out laughing in his mouth. but i think thats happened to a lot of people.


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WildChica
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Oh wow...I'd have to say my funniest sexual experience was when I was giving one of my ex boyfriends head. See, we hadn't done anything very sexual in awhile, so he was really excited about it and kept pushing my head down whenever I tried to come up. Usually, when the guy is ejaculating I bring my head up a little so it doesn't hit the back of my throat...But he shoved my head down again and I ended up choking on it, splattering it all over him. He deserved it
Posts: 87 | From: San Jose, CA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
HotGrrl99
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Well, one day I was smearing chocolate pudding over my boyfriends dick, getting ready to give him an awesome BJ. I went into the bathroom to freshen up for a bit, and when I came out, his dog was licking his dick like there was no tomorrow, and my boyfriend was laying there with his eyes closed moaning my name like crazy!! LOL!!
Posts: 384 | From: Malibu, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sunflower
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My funniest sexual encounter kind of goes with the wild places thread, but it turned out funny. One night last summer we were at one of his friend's house. The friend lived with his older brother and the older brother's wife. Anyways the friend (who was 22 at the time) ended up passing out at like 9 o'clock and the brother and his wife (who are also friends of ours) were out at a bar. My honey and hi were really horney, because we hadn't gotten any "quality time" in awhile, so we really wanted to make love. We didn't want to do it in my car because it was parked right on a well lite street so we went in the garage!!!! He laid down a blanket and we got jiggy with it. Then we heard a car pull up and saw lights on the garage door. We freaked and started getting dressed really fast, we thought we would be okay though, because their garage was filled with junk and we really didn't think that they had any reason to go in their. Well guess what? The brothere decided that he wanted to get something from the garage!!!!!! We heard the door opening and we freaked, and right then I dropped my pager and I bent down to get it, and so when he opened the door it looked like I was in the middle of giving my honey a bj!!!!!! We were fully clothed but we had the lights out in the garage and it just looked really bad!!!! The brother just smiled at us and then shut the light off and walked out, I could have killed my bf right then!!!!! Once we went inside the brother was asking us if we had a good time and I just wanted to hit him, but since then we have just ignored the subject. Oh well!!!
Posts: 130 | From: Berkeley, CA, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BabyAngel84
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HOTGRRL99!!! THAT IS THE MOST HILARIOUS THING I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE!! AND I'VE HEARD SOME CRAZY STORIES BEFORE!!..IF I WERE YOU I'D NEVER LET HIM FORGET THAT ONE!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ....OK I'M DONE NOW BYE!!!
Posts: 161 | From: Kenosha, Wisconsin, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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I dunno, guys, that's only so funny.

Sexual contact with animals is how anthrax (which is fatal) came about.


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HotGrrl99
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Miz S... It wasn't done on purpose. I had no idea that my boyfriend forgot to feed the dog! The poor thing was so hungry that as soon as he smelled the chocolate pudding, he just began licking away like crazy! It's a male dog, so I keep telling my boyfriend that now he is officially bi!!
Posts: 384 | From: Malibu, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
StilQuackn
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Not to mention, chocolate can kill dogs and cats...
Posts: 34 | From: Florida | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jayjers
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Since my b/f is so young he doesn't know too much about everything. We were getting it on one day and he started going for the wrong hole on accident, I started CRACKING up! Another time while I was riding him he slipped out and stubbed the head of his penis (you know how you stub your toe) He was soar for a few days. Lets see... Another time we were in the shower and he slipped and fell with me on top of him... LOL..

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JayJers!


Posts: 50 | From: K-Town Tn | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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i hope this isn't too risque, but it was quite funny.

we were having sex one afternoon, and we were really into it. the bed was sqeaking and shaking. then the squeaking got really loud, and it didn't sound safe. but my boyfriend was enjoying himself too much for me to interrupt. he yelled out, "oh my god! you are a dynamite f---" and at that exact moment, the bed collapsed.

i said, "that good, huh?" and we laughed until our stomachs hurt.

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i think you're special ... and i don't mean that in a short bus kind of way


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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btw, i got the beams back from the welders today, so i can go fix my bed now. (yeah, it was a metal frame)
Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Musickat01
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Our first time wasnt really funny.. It was in a baseball field dugout...in my car... Acutlly, we were both very nervous!!

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Give it all you got.. and if that doesn't work, give it some more!!!


Posts: 145 | From: Dover, Delaware USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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