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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » What should I do?

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Author Topic: What should I do?
Alan Hdz
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Member # 107547

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My girlfriend's period is usually about on the 23rd or 24th of each month;

around the beginning of this february (around the 2nd or 9th) we did the usual, my bare penis against her bottom (she was wearing underwear) but it was just for a moment, I saw spots of precum on her underwear yet i didnt ejaculate, and althought the underwear sometimes moved out of place i always stopped, adjusted it, and continued without my penis touching her vagina; so she got really scared out of no where, and i have tried explaining to her that there is no pregnancy risk as I didnt ejaculte nor was there direct contact, but she's been feeling fatigue, vomiting sensation (she's even puked a couple of times), cramps and she has had a white discharge in her urine. She even took a pill that she takes when she has menstrual cramps, in case she got it afterwards, yet she hasnt, and thats when she had the white discharge (don't know if thats relevant).

All of this has got me thinking if there is a possibility of her being pregnant, and what you could suggest we do? We have decided to strictly abstain ourselves from this type of activities since we are not at all in a position to run a pregnancy risk, but I'm very nervous right now.

I'm hoping she gets her period, but it just seems like it won't...do you think she could be pregnant? [Frown] [Frown] [Frown]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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We've discussed this activity and pregnancy risks with you before, so you already know what we have to say about the pregnancy non-risks from this activity. However, given how your girlfriend is feeling, I'm glad you have opted out of doing this: it sounds like, as a pattern, this is something she feels very afraid around, and so continuing to do something she's clearly so uncomfortable with is very much a poor idea.

Is her period late yet? If it is, she can take a pregnancy test if she has pregnancy concerns. If it is not, she will just need to wait this out, and then, if it is late, take a test then.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Alan Hdz
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I would consider it late; since it's usually on the 23rd or 24th of each month, but I don't want to freak out too much just because of a day or two, it's late.

But given the symptoms she's been presenting, do you think she could be pregnant?

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Alan

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Well, you could consider it late if you wanted, but since the vast, vast majority of people's menstrual cycles standardly deviate by a day or two, and often enough, by more, a late period is generally only considered so by people educated about reproductive health when it is around five days later than the LATEST someone -- someone being the person who has the periods themselves -- expects it.

Also, a period that comes, over many months, right around the same dates like that? Is actually likely to be a very irregular period, since months don't have the same number of days in them. That's why for people charting periods, you chart to see the number of days in your cycle over time, not what dates they happen on.

To give you an example, check out what I did here: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/my_period_is_late_or_is_it

Someone cannot be pregnant because of "symptoms." For a pregnancy to occur, someone has to be part of the things that can, in reality, potentially create a pregnancy. Again, please reread our previous responses to you around this.

She is clearly scared and freaking (or she may just be voicing things to you like she is because she's not happy about the way you've been responding, or about the activity you two have been doing: I don't know her, so who knows).

Here are her options, options that are actually productive: she can go test now, especially if she thinks she is having symptoms of pregnancy. You have to be pregnant for those, so if she was, she'd get a positive result on a test. Or, she can wait until her period is actually late and test then. Or, she can see a healthcare provider now or at any time to have them evaluate this.

Me? Not a pregnancy psychic. All I can do is give you information, as we already have, that tells you this kind of activity does not pose realistic risks of pregnancy, and what next steps there are to take.

I would also encourage you, if you have not already, to perhaps talk about her feelings with all of this and give her room to voice them: it may be a lot of this freakout has to do with feelings she needs to express about your relationship, or the sexual activities you have been engaging in she doesn't feel good about -- but also maybe has not felt supported in just saying no to, again, you will know this stuff better than I -- or you telling her she can't be pregnant when, of course, pregnancy is going to be a way scarier thing for her than for you, even in the abstract, even when there have not been real risks.

[ 02-25-2014, 06:02 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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