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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » How high are my pregnancy risks?

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Author Topic: How high are my pregnancy risks?
jclark283
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Hello everyone, this is my first post on Scarleteen. My name is Jennifer, I'm 20 years old from Canada. Nice to meet you all. [Smile]

Right now I am currently going through a pregnancy scare. On January 1st my boyfriend and I did not have intercourse although we had genital to genital touching and rubbing from behind around my bum area and vaginal entrance. 3 days later (January 4, 2014) I had my period which was normal and went away after 5-6 days which is also normal for me. I had my typical cramps and didn't think anything of what I did on the first.

My period is due for tomorrow (Feb. 4) or somewhere this week. Since Friday I have been experiencing cramps, lower back pain, bloating, and a little bit of nausea. It has all been on and off and seems to be worse today. I am BEYOND scared that I am pregnant. I am worried that he had pre-ejaculation on his penis and that it may have gotten inside. What do you guys think my risks are like? Thank you so much.

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Heather
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Welcome to the boards, jclark283 . [Smile]

So, am I understanding correctly that you were both nude and he was rubbing his penis directly on your vulva?

Too, these symptoms you are having: are they very different from how you usually feel right before a period? or when scared about something?

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jclark283
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Hello Heather [Smile]

Yes, we were both nude. He was rubbing it near my bum hole but as well as around my vulva for a few minutes.

The symptoms I am currently feeling are not different than what I usually feel before a period, the only difference is that I don't usually feel them for this long. Although some time a few years ago I remember having symptoms for a week before my period finally came. But haven't since until last Friday.

I am so scared at the moment, which makes me feel nauseas at times.

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jclark283
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I also feel very bloated and my lower abdomen hurts when I press on it. (Also another symptom I usually get before my period)
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Heather
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Okay. So, for this time and future reference, direct, unprotected genital-to-genital rubbing does, indeed, pose pregnancy and STI risks. basically, the same ones intercourse poses.

So, next time, if you want to reduce those risks, you need to use a condom and, if you like, something additional.

If I have this right, though, he did not ejaculate, meaning you can figure you used withdrawal as a method properly, a method estimated to be about 96% effective when used properly for one year. So, while I can't speak for the STI risks, the pregnancy risks in this case were not likely high.

It sounds most likely what you're feeling is PMS, but in the event your period doesn't show up when you expect it, or a few days after, then you can go ahead and take a pregnancy test.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jclark283
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I will definitely play it safe next time and always use a condom even if it isn't intercourse. Do not want to experience this fear again.

I am not too worried for STI's as we have been together for the last 6 years and have been each others first, but I do understand how it could be a high risk for it.

I am happy to hear your response, really makes me feel so much better that there is not such a high risk. [Smile] Thank you very much.

I have another question, if I got my period 3 days after the genital to genital rubbing happened, wouldn't that mean I am pregnancy free?

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Heather
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If it looks like a period, acts like a period, and feels like a period? It probably is a period. And menstrual periods are a thing that happens when people are NOT pregnant.

So, yep. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jclark283
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Haha, I am so sorry. I am just the biggest over thinker! [Roll Eyes]

I worry about things such as how sometimes in early stages of pregnancy people do get a period and then don't get them after that. I seriously need to stop with google searching.

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Heather
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Google isn't a research tool: a lot of people seem to treat it like it is, but it really isn't one.

It's much more like a box full of random that you shake up, and who knows what will fall out. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jclark283
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That is very true! It causes people to over think their situation, makes my anxiety go up. Such a bad habit!!
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Heather
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You can learn how to use it well, mind, but that does involve more than just putting words in the search engine.

It also means choosing neutral language, and not using language that will only pull up pages that basically validate a fear or misinformation. For example, when people here go and search "implantation bleeding" they are going to get a whole mess of stuff, even though that's not actually a medical term.

If you're interested in getting better at this, librarians are research superheroes. They are usually delighted to show anyone how to research well, including online, so if you go to a local library and ask for that help, you'll probably get it. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jclark283
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I will look into my local library to see how to research properly. [Smile]

Just a bit of an update, today I have yet to get my period and it is officially one month since my last period. My cramps don't seem as bad anymore, although I have tons of gas and I notice my cramps worsen when I am not sitting properly. I can now feel them almost all over my stomach and I am SO bloated, pregnancy still crosses my mind. [Frown]
Woke up nauseas and gagging, although I also get that way when my anxiety acts up.

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Sam W
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Hi Jclark,

It's completely normal for a period to be late or early by a few days. And, since it sounds like you may be having PMS symptoms, your period is likely coming soon. But as, Heather said, you can always take a pregnancy test just to ease your mind.

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jclark283
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Hello Sam, thank you for the reply.

I am absolutely terrified to take a pregnancy test. I just don't usually have cramps for this long without a period.

Do you think that if I had genital to genital rubbing and got my period 3 days later, in January, that I should be okay?

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Heather
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We've already addressed that. The suggestion to take a test is about suggesting something that would let you let this fear go, since making clear about what we think about your risk -- "If I have this right, though, he did not ejaculate, meaning you can figure you used withdrawal as a method properly, a method estimated to be about 96% effective when used properly for one year. So, while I can't speak for the STI risks, the pregnancy risks in this case were not likely high.
" -- doesn't seem to be doing the trick.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Sam W
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I agree with the assessment that Heather already gave of your risks, and that the fact that you already had a period in January means you aren't pregnant.

I know the thought of the test may be scary, but some people find that nothing helps ease their anxiety like seeing a negative result. However, if you really don't think it will help, than you'll have to wait it out until your period comes. I think some self care might help with that:
Self-Care a La Carte

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jclark283
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Thank you both Heather and Sam. I am going to try to wait it out until Saturday and if my period still isn't there I'm going to do a pregnancy test.

I will check out the link, thank you

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Heather
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By the way, if you want to talk out why taking a test feels so scary to you, always happy to do that with people.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jclark283
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I would like that!
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Molias
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Do you have a sense of why you find it so frightening? A pregnancy test won't actually change whether or not you're pregnant; it will just give you the facts about the situation. And those facts will, most likely, make it easier for you to move forward.
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jclark283
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I understand what you mean.
I guess I'm just worried about the what ifs. What if I am pregnant?! I'm so worried about what may be the truth. I'm only 20, not married, still in school, my parents would not be happy [Frown]

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Heather
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Well, were you pregnant, not knowing for sure would not magic it away.

It would just limit your options per managing that well the longer you waited to find out, and make it harder for you to deal with as a reality, not at all easier.

[ 02-04-2014, 05:34 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jclark283
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You're right, I just find it so hard to deal with things like these [Frown]

I have very painful cramps and a lot of gas, do you think it's normal to experience this for 5 days now? Seems to be getting worse. Also, do you personally know anyone who has gotten pregnant by experiencing something like my situation?

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Heather
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Gas and painful cramps for five days is certainly not something someone without some kind of health issue tends to experience, so for sure, I'd check in with a healthcare provider.

Do people become pregnant from direct genital contact? Yep, that's how it happens. How about from using withdrawal? Yep, since it, like all methods, is not 100% effective. But we've already discussed my sense of how high the risk was here, so saying it again and again isn't a sound use of your time or mine. It also won't tell you anything about if you are or are not pregnant.

So, moving forward, since you find this so hard o deal with, one big thing I would take away from that is that you perhaps need to reevaluate if you're ready to be sexual like this. Sounds like maybe not, in which case, you got some helpful information here: even if sex feels good at the time, if you feel freaked to hell after, then you know something isn't right for you.

But for now, you have options: you can wait this out, you can take a test. These are the things you can actively do, and where you can take this from here.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jclark283
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Hello, so I am now officially 4 days late for my period and still experiencing some cramps but more gas.

I decided to take a pregnancy test and it came out negative. I have another one so tomorrow I will do it just to be 110% sure.

I bought the First Response pregnant test, I hope their results are right!! Cause I'm feeling so much better. [Smile]

[ 02-08-2014, 02:28 PM: Message edited by: jclark283 ]

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Edith_*
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As long as you followed the instructions that came with the test, you can trust the results. [Smile]

--------------------
"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it " (...'cause no one else will) -Gandhi-

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jclark283
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I made sure to follow the instructions. [Smile]

Since this morning, I've been having sharp, but definitely not severe pain in my lower abdomen. It's just in a small area above my private part. It also hurts when I press on the area. Now, I googled it and it said pregnancy or ovarian cyst. Any ideas?

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Edith_*
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Well, I think Heather already addressed how Google is not a research tool, even when everybody else thinks it is. [Smile]

You had a negative test result, I'd advice to stick to that.

If by any chance you are worried about ovarian cyst, a healthcare provider is the best person to talk. [Smile]

--------------------
"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it " (...'cause no one else will) -Gandhi-

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jclark283
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Thank you, Edith.

My period is now 2 weeks late, I have gas in my lower abdomin but that has been on and off for the last 3 weeks. I'm also experiencing tender breasts.

I'm hoping both my pregnancy tests were right. I'm worried I took them too early (4 and 5 days after missed period).

Could there be a cause for me experiencing lots of gas and breast tenderness but no period? I just really don't want to end up pregnant. [Frown]

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Heather
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If you are still having issues with gas and abdominal pain after weeks, then again, as I suggested before,it would be best you see a healthcare provider about that.

Do you have access to a general doctor or clinic? If so, given your concerns, but also these general health issues, that is the right place to go to get sound information on the cause.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jclark283
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I am still experiencing it, although it has been going down.

Do you think that I took my pregnancy tests too early?

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Heather
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Only you know if you followed the directions on your test per what it told you with timing.

But again, do you have access to general healthcare? If so, they are not only the right people to address your abdominal issues, they are also the right people to talk to should you still have pregnancy concerns, or feel better following up with a clinic test.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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