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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » Pregnancy without sex (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Pregnancy without sex
annabanana43
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Hello! I am currently on the birth control pill and take it pretty regularly (usually within that three hour window). Sometimes I have to double up the next day though. I have been for 4 months now. I am on the day where I just started my sugar pills so I'm about to get my period.

Last night I fooled around with a guy but I was still clothed with spandex shorts over my underwear. He was naked however. We didn't really do much, just make out a lot. He didn't actually cum I don't think, but there was a point where it felt wet near my thigh gap. But again, i still had my shorts on, though they had ridden up a little. It could have gotten on my shorts too but I'm not sure.

I'm really nervous that somehow I could be pregnant. If I am to get my period like normal tomorrow or the next day (which is when I should), am I in the clear? Or is it still a possibility? Or am I just freaking out for no reason? I know from the risk chart that mine is low but still.

[ 01-25-2014, 12:46 PM: Message edited by: annabanana43 ]

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Redskies
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Hi, annabanana, and welcome to the boards.

By "risk chart", do you mean this: Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That? (and if you don't, we ask everyone with pregnancy risk questions to read it first, as it's got all the information)? Can you tell me why you would describe your risk as "low"?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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annabanana43
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Yes I have read it. That's the one I am talking about. And because I had shorts on (spandex shorts) it wasn't direct contact. Also because I do use birth control pills, and while I don't perfectly, I still have somewhat of a back up. Am I wrong? What are your thoughts?
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annabanana43
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Yes I have read it. That's the one I am talking about. And because I had shorts on (spandex shorts) it wasn't direct contact. Also because I do use birth control pills, and while I don't perfectly, I still have somewhat of a back up. Am I wrong? What are your thoughts?
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Redskies
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You're absolutely right about shorts meaning there was no direct contact. I'm wondering why you describe it as "low risk" rather than, for example, "no risk"?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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annabanana43
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Just because his penis could have been wet and then I feel like he let it run against my spandex (which are thin) - I left that part out I realize. And because there was cum on my leg near my vagina and near the edge of my thin spandex (with very thin underwear underneath) it could nave maybe gotten through or dripped down without me knowing it. Im Just so scared.
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Redskies
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Two questions from me this time [Smile]

What do our materials say about pregnancy risk - or lack of risk - when someone is clothed?

Can you tell me how you think reproduction could happen in the situation you described?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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annabanana43
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It states that there is no risk. I just got nervous bc he was not clothed and I was wearing thin material and cum was actually near my vagina but on my leg.

I know it's silly that I think that but I just thought maybe reproduction could occur if somehow the cum that was on my leg went up the side of my spandex.

If I am supposed to get my period tomorrow or the next day and I do, will I be in the clear?

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Redskies
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You got it [Smile]

Did you fully want to have the sexual contact you had, and were you completely comfortable at the time? As you're worried now even though you know there's no risk, that suggests it's a good idea to think about if you feel ready or not for that kind of sex.

It's not silly at all to either be scared of something or to not know well enough how something works. I was meaning the real nitty-gritty of reproduction - how you think the ejaculate on your leg might be able to start a pregnancy in you? I'm asking because if we can find the wiggly bit in your thinking or understanding there, maybe we can replace that with scientific fact and help you not to be scared and give you the information you need to make the best decisions for you in the future.

When someone's taking the pill, it means that they don't have a fertility cycle, and so the monthly bleeding isn't strictly a period. Instead, it's a withdrawal bleed. And yes, if someone has a period or a withdrawal bleed, they can't be pregnant, because a bleed is the shedding of the lining of the uterus. If you'd like to read more about any of that, we have lots of information on the site that we can link you to, if you like?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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annabanana43
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I guess I just figured because it was on my leg but so close to my vagina that it could have somehow actually touched my vagina or maybe more got in places I couldn't really see?
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annabanana43
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I guess I just figured because it was on my leg but so close to my vagina that it could have somehow actually touched my vagina or maybe more got in places I couldn't really see?
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Redskies
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That sounds a bit like semen - or, more to the point, sperm - is a magic thing. It is very not-magic [Smile] . How about you have a read of this: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodies/where_did_i_come_from_a_refresher_course_in_human_reproduction and see if things become any clearer for you? That piece is being trialled as a revamped version, so you'd also be doing us a favour by letting us know if it helps you and what works or doesn't work for you about it. Heather created a thread for feedback, if you'd like to leave any: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/10/t/002643.html

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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annabanana43
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I guess I just figured because it was on my leg but so close to my vagina that it could have somehow actually touched my vagina or maybe more got in places I couldn't really see?
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Redskies
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I'm guessing your latest post was an accidental re-post, but if you take a look at what I linked you to, that should help clear things up [Smile]

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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annabanana43
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Thank you for your help. I just have the biggest fear and I feel like pregnancy is everywhere around me today! Haha. I just had never been in a situation like that. The article was really helpful. I just have a bad feeling and can't shake off my fear. I'm nervous that I'm going to get my period but bc I'm supposed to get it so soon, it could be just a fluke thing. I feel like my stress might delay it too now. I don't know. But I just have never had fluids like that so nearby down below. I do know what I'm not comfortable with though now. I just can't get rid of this awful feeling.
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Edith_*
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Hello there!

I'm glad to hear the article was helpful but I'm sorry you are still feeling bad and fearful. Sometimes when we feel scared is a sign that maybe we should take the time and think if we are really comfortable with the choices we are making. You are right, stress can help sometimes to delay a period so maybe it would be helpful if you do some Self-Care while you wait for your period. Here is a great article with some good pointers:

Self-Care a La Carte

Hope this helps a little! [Smile]

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"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it " (...'cause no one else will) -Gandhi-

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annabanana43
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Hi there!

I did get my period, but it seems to be just a little lighter this time. Even though I got it less than 48 hours after my incident occurred, does that mean I'm in the clear? Or could it simply not have registered yet? Or am I just overthinking?

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annabanana43
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I've also been nauseous all morning and my period has gone away so now I'm really nervous! And I know I shouldn't be but it's scary.
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Heather
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When you say it has gone away, do you just mean you are having a few hours, or even a day, without noticeable flow? If so, this is typical with periods. They rarely involve a constant, nonstop noticeable flow. Especially during periods that are lighter.

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annabanana43
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Yes! And just really not as heavy as usual!
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Heather
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Which will happen sometimes: the flow with periods is not the same with every single cycle you will have in your life. Over time, it will tend to vary quite a lot.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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annabanana43
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But you do think the fact that I got my period even though it was very shortly after is a good sign? I've heard it takes 5 days to fertilize, and I don't know if that would affect my period
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annabanana43
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Sorry if I'm being annoying, but if I could get some feedback that would be great!
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Molias
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Well, we've given you really clear feedback about your pregnancy risk level here, and Heather went over variations in period flow level. If you still are worried about pregnancy after what we've covered here, you might find it helpful to take a pregnancy test. That's really all you can do at this point, if the facts about how pregnancy can happen aren't helping you feel at ease.
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annabanana43
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It's been a week since it happened, so it would be ok to take one, right?
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Edith_*
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Pregnancy tests can be taken 14 days after the risk. Here's some info about it:

Peeing on a Stick: All About Pregnancy Tests

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"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it " (...'cause no one else will) -Gandhi-

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annabanana43
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I have the worst anxious feeling about becoming pregnant, like a certain intuition that makes me feel like I actually am. I know I had no risk, and I want to take a test for peace of mind, but the waiting for the 2 week mark is making me physically break down. Is this normal? And is my nausea and body cramping all in my head? Could symptoms show as early as now, about a week and a half post-risk?

I'm so sorry, I just have nowhere else to turn.

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Edith_*
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I wouldn't say feeling like this is "normal" or "abnormal". Feelings are just that, feelings, and you get to feel the way you do. [Smile]

No, symptoms of pregnancy -- when it *actually* happens -- take weeks or even months to show up. The first symptom is a missing period which you already had. I cannot tell you why you are having nausea and body cramps but it might have something to do with that anxiety feeling you are describing.

I know I already linked you to this article but in case you didn't have the chance to read it, here it goes again:

Self-Care a La Carte [Smile]

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"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it " (...'cause no one else will) -Gandhi-

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annabanana43
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I just don't know why I'm imagining all this stuff or if I even am. Like I'm having cramps down below and in my lower back, so of course I assume that's implantation. No one really answered my question about my period: I understand I got a somewhat normal period, but because it was so shortly after my "non-risk," does that still count as being an actual period (aka no pregnancy)?
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Heather
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When a period occurs does not change what a period is, which is a shedding of the uterine lining. When that lining is shed, there is not anywhere then for a fertilized egg to implant or stay implanted.

Understand too, that if and when a fertilized egg implants,t hat is not a thing a person can feel.

Clearly, you are concerned you may be pregnant, so why not go ahead and take a home test?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Edith_*
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Having a period is a clear sign pregnancy didn't happen. [Smile]

Like I said before is not wise to "assume" everything has something to do with pregnancy. Pregnancy -- when it actually happens -- doesn't show symptoms 1 week after. Mind, the first symptom of pregnancy is a missing period which, from what you said, you already had. [Smile]

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"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it " (...'cause no one else will) -Gandhi-

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annabanana43
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Thank you both so much for your help. It has been really comforting. I'm trying to get myself to take a test just for peace of mind but for some reason I'm just too scared. I've also been feeling very very achy in my arms and legs and dizzy, which I never feel, which of course worries me. I also may have gotten a small stomach bug this past weekend, so the aching could be from that still, but I have no idea. I just feel a way I've never felt before and it's worrying me to the extreme. I don't know if I could take a test without passing out, haha.
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annabanana43
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I'm also feeling way more exhausted than usual too which scared me as well.
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Heather
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Well, you have to take some kind of action to try and help yourself here if you want to change the way you are feeling.

Why not call a friend to keep you company while you take it?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Sam W
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Hi annabanna,

I think you're probably right that the aching and other symptoms is from the bug you had, but if symptoms (like the dizziness) continue, you may want to check in with a healthcare provider just to see what's up (and maybe get some treatment for the symptoms).

I understand that, with the anxiety you've been having, taking a pregnancy test probably feels really daunting. However, seeing the result staring back at you may help you feel less stressed. But, ultimately, whether you decide to take a test is up to you.

And, if you're feeling stressed, it might help to take a look at the self-care article Edith gave you a little ways up the thread to see if you can find some strategies to help soothe yourself.

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