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Author Topic: Help! I am so scared, can I get pregnant from this?
wonderingxo
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So, me and my boyfriend did not have sex. There was NO penetration. We only fooled around. I was over his apartment for 2 days. Day 1, we showered together, and I gave him a blowjob and hand job, after that I stood up and I realized his penis accidentally touched my clitoris or near my pubes area (I am not too sure because it was only for a split second, I am sure that it was not near vaginal opening, though). Also, I remember I touched myself down there while giving him a blowjob and hand job, he did not ejaculated, there was only pre-cum. But after that, we took a shower, and I put soap all over my body.

Then Day 2, we did dry humping but I was all clothed and he was in his boxer. He took his boxer for like 5 minutes, I guess but then he put it back on, while I was all clothed all the time. His penis was never near my vaginal opening, but I am mainly concerned about the part when I gave him bj and hj. Again, I remember there was pre-cum and I remember after I touched his penis, I touched my clitoris (cause I was touching myself, too) But I never went near my vagina nor my vaginal opening, it was really around my clitoris. He did not ejaculate as well. I was worried if I might have dried pre-cum on my hands (I didn't remember it was wet, I remember my hand was dry while touching my clit) Also, I only touched that for about a minute or two. Again, after this happened we took a shower.

Can I get pregnant from this? I know it's a silly question and I know that the chance is really really low, but I need to ask this myself in order to ease my mind. OH, and also, he told me he masturbated and cummed the morning before I visited his apartment (meaning before DAY 1) but after that he obviously showered and urinated, he said he normally urinates a lot. So I assume, he urinated 2 or 3 times before we did that. Once again he did not ejaculated, it's just the pre cum on my hand (that was possibly dried up) that worries me. I am a virgin and my hymen is still intact. I have never put anything inside me not even fingers.

Please help me, I am freaking out. I am from Asia and sex is not something that you talk about over here.

You guys are my only hope. [Frown]
I have been worried sick...

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wonderingxo
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Note: When I say I touched myself, it was really only in the area of clitoris. Like I said, I have never put anything inside my vagina. Even when I masturbate, I don't put my fingers in. I hope you guys will comment on this soon. My period should be here in a week or two. this happened 3 days ago, that means I was in my ovulation day, right? I am freaking out. :'(
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Robin Lee
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Hi Djeulita and welcome to Scarleteen,

I'm sorry to hear that you've been so worried.

We have several articles on what is and isn't a pregnancy risk.

Here are a couple to get you started with figuring out whether you had a risk or not.

http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/14/t/000372.html

Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?

With regards to your question about ovulation, there's actually no way to know when you ovulated unless you've been charting your cycles for several months. Counting days doesn't tell anyone anything about when they ovulate. For more information about that, take a look at this: http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2013/12/03/lets_dial_down_some_maybe_ovulation_freakouts

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Robin

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wonderingxo
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Thank you for answering my question really fast. Yes, I read the articles, so does that mean I am good? Yes or no? :S Also, I have heard that virgin pregnancy exists. I read this article where it says that this girl had sperm on her and that slipped through her hymen. Is that true? Internet can be really dramatic.

I live in Asia where sex education is not very much exposed. [Frown]

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wonderingxo
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I am also worried about the fact that his dick touched my clit for a second, does that count as rubbing? I am freaking out. :/
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Robin Lee
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Genitals accidentally coming into contact for a split second isn't at all likely to get anyone pregnant. It's when bare genitaals are rubbed together intentionally that there is a chance that pregnancy could occur.

I'm not really sure what you mean by "virgin pregnancy." As made clear in our articles, pregnancy can occur if there is vaginal intercourse, or if someone ejaculates directly onto someone else's bare vulva, or if a bare penis and bare vulva are rubbed together. Anal intercourse also carries with it some risks of pregnancy, though it's less likely to happen than it is with vaginal intercourse.

Also, whether someone's hymen is present or not doesn't influence whether or not they can get pregnant. Whether or not someone can get pregnant depends only on the sexual activities that happen.

Here's some more information about the hymen that might help clarify that.

My Corona: The Anatomy Formerly Known as the Hymen & the Myths That Surround It

Does this help?

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Robin

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wonderingxo
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Thank you. I did not remember rubbing my genital with his genital intentionally. So, I guess I am good? I am still freaking out. We have never wanted to penetrate to begin with. Because I am keeping my hymen intact. I know this sounds irrelevant, but where I am from, your hymen determines whether or not you have had sex. Albeit, the possibility of breaking hymen by the use of tampon, or sport activities is also high, that's just not how our society thinks. I know I should have not engaged in sexual activities considering I have so little information about sex. But, what's done is done. [Frown]
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Sam W
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Correct, you did not have a risk.

As for your hymen, what was your takeaway from the article Robin left you?

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wonderingxo
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That virginity is a vague concept and that you can't really tell if someone has had sex by looking at their hymen.
Things like these are not taught over here. We only learn basic stuff. Birth pills are only available for married women, and morning pills are so hard to get either. [Frown]
Thank you, this site helped ease my mind. Although, I am still kinda worried and hoping that my period will come really soon!

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wonderingxo
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Hey, yesterday I started feeling like my breasts were tender, also I have back pain, and then now I am having cramp around my left leg. I am worried, could that be a sign of pregnancy or just PMS? My period should be here in 3 days, but I read sign of PMS could be early sign of pregnancy too. [Frown]
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Robin Lee
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It's not possible for something to be a sign of early pregnancy if one didn't have a pregnancy risk in the first place. [Smile]

What you're describing are things commonly experienced by people before their period starts. What do you usually experience before your period?

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Robin

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wonderingxo
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Yeah, the same thing but usually if the cramp already kicks in, I'd have my period real soon, right now I have been having the cramp all day long but still no period.
Also, I would like to ask your opinion on this? (Link removed because of inaccurate information. --RM)

[ 12-13-2013, 09:00 AM: Message edited by: Robin Lee ]

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Robin Lee
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It's not unusual for premenstrual symptoms to change. our bodies aren't machines so they're just not going to do exactly the same things all the time.

No, having a virgin pregnancy isn't possible. The only thing that poster said was that she was a virgin. She didn't talk about what being a virgin actually means in her case (people have different definitions) and she doesn't talk about what partnered sexual activities she did engage in, or mention whether she'd been sexually assaulted.

People who tell these stories online have their own reasons for telling them. We can't know why they leave out crucial information, we just know that they do.

How someone can and can't become pregnant relies on facts, and when those facts are missing from people's anecdotes you can know you're not getting the whole truth. [Smile]

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Robin

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Robin Lee
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This article will give you more information about how to find accurate information online:

Legit or Unfit? Finding Safe, Sound Sex Educators & Support Online

Here, too, is some information about the idea of virginity:

20 Questions About Virginity: Scarleteen Interviews Hanne Blank
Magical Cups & Bloody Brides: Virginity in Context

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Robin

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wonderingxo
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Ah, thank you so much for clarifying the information. When I read that I was pretty scared. I have another question, though. How come having a virgin pregnancy is not possible when you also say that hymen does not influence whether they can be pregnant or not? I am a confused. :S Thank you so much. I am still hoping my period will come soon.
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Robin Lee
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Hi Djeulita,

We say that a virgin pregnancy isn't possible because the word virgin means different things to different people. When I hear someone saying they were a virgin, and got pregnant, and don't provide any more information than that, it tells me that they're leaving information out of their story; no one just magically gets pregnant, and, again, saying that they wre a virgin doesn't tell us anything, since they're not defining what virgin means to them. So, someone saying they were a virgin, and got pregnant, doesn't actually tell us, or anyone, anything about how that pregnancy happened. Someone might consider themselves a virgin, for example, because they've never had vaginal intercourse--but they got pregnant from anal intercourse. Anal intercourse is sex just like vaginal intercourse is, sex that does have a ris of pregnancy connected with it.

Plus, as you read in the articles I linked you to above, someone who doesn't have an intact hymen isn't necessarily someone who has had sexual intercourse. The hymen can wear away for all sorts of reasons before anyone ever has any partnered sexual activities of any kind. Likewise, someone who has had sexual partnered activities might still have a partial hymen. So, there being no hymen doesn't say anything about whether someone has had sexual experience or not.


Does this help at all? perhaps it would help clear up your confusion to talk about what the word virgin means to you.

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Robin

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wonderingxo
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Ah, I see! Thank you. That helped a lot.
Also, I would like to ask another question.
I know that you have stated that I had no pregnancy risk. But, I am very impatient about my period to come and that still stresses me out.
I have had acne breakouts and usually that's my PMS symptoms. I really hope I will get that soon. The thing is that sometimes I would feel dizzy and a bit queasy. That still makes me think that I have pregnancy symptoms. [Frown] ((
Would you please describe the nausea during pregnancy? Is it heavy or light? Cause mine is light. [Frown]
Maybe I am just stressing out, I don't know..
Also, I would like to get a pregnancy test, that test pack thing, yeah, when do I use that? It's day 9 today since this happened. Is that going to be valid enough or do I have to wait more?
Thanks. :'(
I am sorry if I sound so persistent, but I am also scared. I need help and you guys have been so helpful, I really can't thank you enough.

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wonderingxo
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I keep picturing that I am pregnant. I can't sleep. I have been having terrible days. I don't have anyone to talk to, the only one I can talk to is my boyfriend and even he is also stressing out so I don't want to burden him. He keeps saying that I need to calm down and just be positive. I tried, but the anxiety and scare keep coming back again. I keep having this "worst scenario" in my head. Like, if I am really pregnant I would probably have to run away from house, or commit suicide. I dunno. That sounds dramatic but my society is so strict. I have been locking myself in room...

My family has been wondering why I am acting up like this but obviously I can't tell them.
I am so stressed out.
I should not be since I have exams coming up soon.
I have so many things to do but my anxiety has been blocking me to do a lot of things. :'(

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Robin Lee
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Djeulita,

I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling so much and still feeling so scared.

As we've talked about, you really didn't have a pregnancy risk. Do you think you're having trouble understanding the facts of how you really didn't have a risk and of how pregnancy does and doesn't happen?

If taking a pregnancy test would help you feel better, then by all means you can take one. Pregnancy tests are considered accurate when taken 14 or mores days after the pregnancy risk.

It sounds like you'd really benefit from doing some things to take care of yourself and help relieve some of this fear and stress. Here are some ideas for self-care: Self-Care a La Carte

--------------------
Robin

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wonderingxo
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I will wait and take one. I am still struggling with the anxiety. Do you think all the nausea and bloated feeling comes from the stress?
Also, I have been reading articles that per cum has sperm in it? is that just myth?
I am very, very, very sorry.
I don't mean to sound persistent.
I just need valid information because this site is the only reliable site that I can rely on.
I also have a heart problem. I was born with light heart leakage hence I tend to have abnormal heartbeat rate. I am not allowed to be stressed out cause that would trigger and risk my heart.
I really need to calm down.
Thank you so much, Robin.

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Robin Lee
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Nausea and bloating can absolutely be physical signs of stress. Stress manifests in our bodies in all sorts of ways.

Many of the suggestions in the self-care article I linked you to are aimed at helping one physically relax, which can help with physical symptoms of stress as well as take pressure off your heart.

Pre-ejaculate (pre-cum) doesn't itself have sperm in it. Sometimes, it can pick up sperm that has been hanging around in the urethra. However, that still only matters if one has been doing the types of activities that can lead to pregnancy, which, as you've read, are direct contact between bare genitals. As I mentioned above, the very quick, accidental genital contact you were concerned about really is not likely (as in about as likely as finding a thousand dollars in cash on the sidewalk) to lead to pregnancy. Does this help clear up your confusion?

My suggestions to you are these:

1. Take a break from reading about pregnancy risks, pre-ejaculate, etc.

2. do some of the things mentioned in the self-care article, or other things that you know help you relieve stress.

3. If you're still feeling worried at a time when you know a pregnancy test would be accurate, take a test to help with peace of mind.

How does this all sound?

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Robin

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wonderingxo
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Thank you so very much! I tried having a bit of a self care today and I guess that worked. But, the stress still came again after a few hours, especially when I was alone or when I saw my family. I think that has to do with my guilt?
I am going to take the pregnancy test next week because my period should be due this Sunday.
Thank you so very much, Robin. I seriously cannot thank you enough.

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Heather
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What do you think you can do for yourself to start resolving those feelings? If it is guilt, what do you feel guilty of?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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wonderingxo
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Maybe I will take a break from all sexual activity, at least until I feel like I am ready.
I think the guilt has to do with social and religious norms in the society that I belong to. :/

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Sam W
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I think taking a break until you feel more ready and less anxious is not a bad idea at all.

It can be really tough when the things imposing guilt on us feel so big and omnipresent. Is the guilt around being sexually active at a certain stage in life, or being sexual in general (or something else entirely)?

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wonderingxo
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It is really though when you belong to the kind of society that represses you from being sexually active until you are married. In some cases, girls are mostly considered as "bad" if they are openly sexual even if they are already married.
So, I think that answers your question, Sam.
It's really though.

Anyhow, I took pregnancy test today and it was negative. It says in the package that I can use it at any time of the day, cause some brands are only accurate if used in the morning. So, I took it in the afternoon. I was wondering if it is already accurate - even though I don't use it in the morning? I know that the package claims so, but I am a bit concerned.

Also, today is day 13 after this incident happened. I know you guys said that I should take it at least 14 days after the risk but I was impatient, so does that make it less accurate?

I'm sorry for talking and asking too much. I don't have anyone to talk to regarding sex over here. I would like to educate myself more, too. I am very thankful for you guys. You guys are awesome. :')

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Heather
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No pregnancy test has to be taken in the morning. If you followed the directions of your test, you can trust its accuracy.

I am sorry you are having such a tough time with this culturally. You said you would like some more education around all of this. Want to give us an idea of what you want more of? That way, we can build you some link lists so you can have that. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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wonderingxo
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Hey, guys, so I have taken like 3 pregnancy tests and they are all negative. My period isn't here yet, though that means I am a day late now. I want to ask, why do we have to interpret pregnancy test not more than 5 minutes? In the package that I bought, it says that I should not interpret it after 10 minutes. Why is that?
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Heather
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Because after a set period of time, it can show a different result, like a positive when it is actually negative.

If you are just asking why that happens, though, I don't know.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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wonderingxo
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Hey, so it's been a while since I posted something here. My period is not here yet, I'm a week late. But, I already took so many pregnancy tests, probably like 7 already. All are negatives. I followed the instructions carefully I always have stopwatch with me, too. I am still paranoid cause my period is not here. [Frown] The last test I took is today, and today is exactly 3 weeks after the incident happened. I keep thinking to myself that I still can be pregnant although all the tests are negative. I keep thinking that there is possibility that detected HcG tomorrow.. or the day after.. even today it's negative. I don't know. ;( is it possible or am I just being a paranoid freak?

Also, why's my period late? it's almost the end of the month, I am afraid I'll be missing my period? :'( Please help

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Molias
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Periods can be late for reasons other than pregnancy; there's some information about that in this article: M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period?

There's really no way for us to be able to tell you why yours might be late right now, though. With so many negative tests you can know that pregnancy isn't the cause, at least.

Maybe right now you can take a look back at the self-care article linked earlier in the thread, and find some more things that might help to distract you from this fear a bit?

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wonderingxo
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[Frown] is there any possibility that the tests that I took are invalid? 7 of them? I feel the need to keep checking and testing but it's killing me and wasting my money, too. :'(
What does it take to make pregnancy test valid?
And is it OK if girls miss their period because of the stress?
I have been stressing out for 3 weeks now plus I have my thesis to be done and final exams, could that be the reason?
Thank you so much I am trying to do the self care
I am sorry for asking to much:(

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Redskies
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With 7 negative pregnancy tests, taken correctly, you can be very, very sure that the negative result is correct.

I'm not sure what you mean by a "valid" pregnancy test? Are you asking about how pregnancy tests work scientifically, or are you asking about how to use a pregnancy test, or something else?

Stress can make a period late or missed. As you can see in the link Molias gave you just above, there are also lots of other reasons why a period might be late or missed. Sometimes, it can be for no apparent reason at all. Having a lot of stress can also make us feel much more worried about everything, including pregnancy fears when there was no risk.

Missing a period or getting it late is absolutely nothing to worry about. It just happens sometimes. If someone hasn't done anything that could cause pregnancy and/or has a negative pregnancy test, the thing to do is just wait for the period to come whenever it comes. We would suggest seeing a healthcare provider if someone misses three periods in a row or if someone has other health concerns. Other than that, there's no cause for concern.

What do you think would help you move on from the worries you have?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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wonderingxo
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Thank you. What actually prompted me to keep testing is that, some tests would show negative within the first 10 minutes, but when I checked them again in hours, some would have really blurred pink line below the negative line. I know that all tests should not be interpreted more than 10 minutes but this scare me, should I worry? I'm sorry. [Frown]
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Redskies
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One of the most important and basic parts of correct pregnancy test usage is not to look at them, at all, after the time period the instructions tell you to read them. The display on an hours-old test will tell you absolutely nothing about the real result. It may well look different to the actual, proper result display, and again, that difference means absolutely nothing.

Think of it this way: imagine you're finding some really, really disgusting old mouldy food. You can't even tell what food it used to be, let alone whether it might have been something delicious. There is no way you would consider eating it, because it is certainly not food any more, it is rank, and it would make you ill. But that doesn't tell you anything about what it used to be like, and whether it would've been one of your favourite foods or something tasteless. You can't know any more, because it's changed so much, and the only thing you can do with it is to throw it out.

Old pregnancy tests are like old mouldy food. They have changed so much that you can't know what they used to look like, they are no longer good for anything, and the only thing you can do is throw them out before they stink up your room with mouldy smell or your mind with worry.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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