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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » Paranoid stupid me, dry humping.

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Author Topic: Paranoid stupid me, dry humping.
sspiderlamp
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So almost a week ago, my boyfriend and i were dry humping. he wore underwear, jeans, i wore underwear, jeans too. we both reached orgasm, and my jeans were a little moist from my fluids. i know im probably asking a pointless query, and ive read the dry humping and other'no risk' articles but im still paranoid i could be pregnant. im sure i know im not. but due to the internets other scary 'facts' and answers, and that part of my mind that thinks sperm are magic unicorn pregnancy creators, i am still scared and unsure. it would be most appreciated if someone sciencey could be bothered to explain to me about scary sperm and their abilities to get through clothes and put my mind to rest for good. thx a ton and sorry if im annoying im just super paranoid [Confused]
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Heather
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Can you perhaps start by trying to explain to me how you understand reproduction to happen?

In other words, if you were explaining it to me, what would you say?

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sspiderlamp
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UUmmm... when a male and female have intercourse and there is an exchange of fluids and fertlization occurs. basically any sittuation where the sperm and egg can fuse.
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Heather
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Okay, that's a place we can start. [Smile]

So, for one, for fluids to be shared...well, fluids have to actually be shared. In other words, your boyfriends semen has to be able to have direct contact with YOUR vulva or vagina. That can't happen when one or both of you has clothes on, something you can test,if you like, by putting something with a similar consistency to semen -- like a watery body lotion, in a similar volume (so around one teaspoon) on the crotch of your jeans. If you do that, you can see that the jeans, if they even do that, will soak up that fluid, and you will not be finding that lotion on your vulva.

The way sperm cells can move towards the cervix at all is by the propulsion of semen during an ejaculation and by there being an uninterrupted path, as it were, for that semen to go from the opening of the penis to the cervix. Things like condoms or pants block that path.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sspiderlamp
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Thakyou so very much heather. this has really calmed me down. im sure its all in my head, and the internet saying otherwise is false? the staff on this site have proof theyre qualified so that helps!
So deffo no risk then??
thanks a million soo glad i asked!
p.s will try the lotion thing [Smile]

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Heather
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Well, "the internet" doesn't say things. People ON the internet say things. And sometimes those things are true, and other times they are not.

You can't control that, but you can control where you go, what you read, and what you give weight to.

It might help to think about this about something else. For instance, if you have a pet, and your pet was very sick, who would and wouldn't you trust when it comes to information online about what to do? Would you do just anything just anyone says? Probably not. You'd look, one presumes, only at places like sites from veterinarians and other qualified, educated, credible places and people, places and people you could verify in some way knew what they were talking about, right?

Same goes here. So, where are you reading what you are? Who is saying the things you are giving weight to? Is it sound for you to be giving those statements weight?

[ 01-22-2014, 02:55 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sspiderlamp
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Fair enough. i should know better than looking at yahoo answers and freaking out. its just easy to do that because im me, and my brain likes to freak out easily if it's stuff to do with my body/health.

and bashing 'can i get pregnant through clothes' into google search probably wont yield reliable results at all. i think ill stick to scarleteen.
deffo no risk right??
thx again!

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Heather
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Okay. So, yep, you have been looking at one of the places online where you can not only be guaranteed to get totally wrong information, and which is never factually checked or monitored, but where you can't even find out for sure who is answering your question, or even know their name.

Google also isn't a reference book or encyclopedia, so you don't want to ever use it that way.

You can stick here, but you can also look at other resources or sites similar to ours. If you need help figuring out where else is sound to go, this piece can help you with that: Legit or Unfit? Finding Safe, Sound Sex Educators & Support Online.

And no, as you already know, dry humping cannot create a pregnancy.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sspiderlamp
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thx a million!! super glad i asked for help! thx!
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sspiderlamp
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thx a million!! super glad i asked for help! thx!
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sspiderlamp
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Sorry but i have one more question. if one person was wearing just underwear and the other naked, and they were dry humping, then the person in the underwear ejaculated, and the semen soaked through, would this cause a pregnancy because of the semen soaking through onto a naked vulva?? just curious [Razz]
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Heather
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When we give risk levels on acitivities for this, we account for fluids if and when they may be an issue. Knowing situations like you are describing with dry sex can occur, our answer remains the same, because we have accounted for that. Check my answer to you up a little bit again where I explain how an unobstructed path to the vagina is essential for a real possibility of pregnancy.

That said, this also does not sound like something you would be comfortable with, given your posts so far. So, since you know something like this would freak you out, I would advise you elect not to do somethung like this until you do not feel so scared.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sspiderlamp
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thanks again and for the quick reply. I have calmed down a lot since yesterday. When my boyfriend and i began bringing sexual stuff into our relationship, we agreed to do nothing with a risk of pregnancy until we were old and mature enough to deal with the consequences of things like birth control failing.we engage in manual sex(which doesnt freak us) usually and are careful. i will wait till im less scared to do dry humping again. thankyou again
[Smile] [Smile]

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Heather
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Well. And really feeling ready and okay is not usually just about pregnancy or STI risks. In other words, we can not feel feady or okay sometimes even when none of those risks exist or are issues.

So, it might help to try and think about what you really need to feel okay with any given kind of sex, beyond just avoiding risks of pregnancy. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sspiderlamp
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Thx again. hav known my boyfriend (who is also my bestfriend) for over a year. we are very happy and love and care about each other very much, and u are right, feeling ready is not just about risks, and we are comfortable with what we are doing. thx again heather
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sspiderlamp
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I thought posting here would be better than making another question, since this one sort of fits here anyway. Thanks yet again, and im rly sorry for another question. But i had manual sex yesterday with my boyfriend, iwas touching him through his underwear (he had already ejaculated a bout 20 mins before) and i stopped to touch myself quickly, then resumed. In your above posts u said there had to be direct contact for a risk of pregnancy, so does that mean if his semen soaked through underwear a bit, then onto my finger that used to touch my vulva, that we are free of risk??? sorry again for the paranoidness.
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Stephanie_1
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See, you actually answered your own question in your question- yep direct contact means exactly that, so nope no need to worry.

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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sspiderlamp
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Oh thank chickens for that! So is it 100% confirmed that what i did was totally risk free??? thanks again and sorry about my irrational worrying [Smile]

also how come it cant make a risk?

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sspiderlamp
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and sorry for the repost in other topic. if that could be gotten ridden of then great.
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Stephanie_1
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Reread your question post or the above answers- what do you need for a risk? It wasn't present here. Check this for more information on that: Can I get pregnant or get or pass an STI from that?

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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sspiderlamp
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thanks sincerely and i have read that useful page. [Smile]

what i meant was why cant the sperm survive to be a risk when its non direct? (one peep in underwear)

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Stephanie_1
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Because they're really rather delicate. They can't swim through clothing because it's not a hospitable environment for them.

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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sspiderlamp
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thankyou tonnes
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Stephanie_1
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Welcome [Smile]

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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sspiderlamp
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sorry this is late i just want to say a big thanks to you. me and my boyfriend have decided to take a long break from sexual stuff till we are ready and notscared. thx again
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Sofeefee102612
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Hi, just last friday (today is monday) my boyfriend and I messed around. He was only wearing underwear and I was wearing spandex-like underwear. I was on top of him and grinding on him. Im afraid there's a way to get pregnant through this? I've been stressingg out over this so much.. I don't know what to do. The "posibilities" that I hear of scare me. He said he was not wet at all, but I don't know what to think. Can you give me your opinion on this? Do I have a chance of getting pregnant?
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Redskies
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Hi, Sofeefee, and welcome to the boards. Can you make your own new thread? It's much easier for us to keep track of everybody that way. Toward the top and bottom of the page, you'll find "new topic" - just click that. We'll be happy to talk with you there.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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