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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » Test accurate after 22 days after risk

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Author Topic: Test accurate after 22 days after risk
Teendrama
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Member # 109313

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I have read all articles possible.
I had protected sex on 29th December however with unprotected genital rubbing and perhaps fingering.
On the 4th January had anal - don't think he ejaculated.

I have taken a lot of tests including a clear blue digital today and thankfully negative.

My december period started -12/12
January started a day early with brown discharge then normal but only lasted 4-5 days. Although I travelled across the Atlantic the day before it came.
My cycle is 27 days and I know it is ovulation/ luteal phase that matters.

Surely 22 days after a risk would be accurate? Why am I stressing? Surely regardless hcg level would be high enough nearly 3 weeks after period due. I am stressing and getting cramps/ sore ribs.

I have spend more money in the past month on pregnancy tests than I have in my entire life! Will an ultrasound at 6 weeks at least confirm or deny a pregnancy - I know I'd have to pay but surely it would be worth it?

Like another poster earlier the religious factor is very influencing. Society, politics and everything else in my country is ruled by religion - abortion is prohibited so that probably adds to the anxiety.

Additionally I read the post about taking off the blinders off abuse. The guy who caused all this coerced me into sex and wore me down emotionally. I know this relationship is toxic and even though it's long distance I can't break it off. I tried to and hate the ways things are.

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September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Teendrama, we have talked to you about your pregnancy risk and using pregnancy tests, so if you want more reassurance, you can go back and reread those threads.

I think it would be more beneficial in the long run if we use this thread to focus on the things that are likely causing your anxiety: namely the environment you are in, and the fact that sexual activity you had was the result of coercion. So, let's talk about this: why do you feel that you cannot leave your partner? What do you think you need to be able to leave him?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Teendrama
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Member # 109313

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Is it emotional guilt perhaps? I think I believe I can fix him. One time I spent with him he took me to Springfield MA and told me how tough his life was and it did suck. I don't want to be yet another person who walks out of his life.

My best friend knows mentally I need to break up with him. I need to reassess life and truly communicate how frustrated I am but he always promises he'll change and I always give him a change. Ultimately I am a people pleaser I would rather suffer myself that tell bad news. I am not strong enough to walk away. We just have so much emotional baggage and made future plans and I just feel tied to that.

I think if he cheated I would even forgive him and I find cheating horrible. The worst thing is I know he won't break up with either. We're both broken but cling to eachother even though we can't help.

Ultimately I don't know what would free me from the situation and I hate that.

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Sam W
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Hi teendrama,

A few things you said stuck out to me. The first is that someone having a tough life does not give them free reign to be awful to other people. And, as a side note to that, nobody is obligated to try and "fix" a partner who is toxic to them. And, toxic people will often play up how badly they have been treated by others and then turn to you and say "but you won't leave me, because you're different, you understand me." That can be a really flattering and appealing dynamic at the beginning, but it leads to you, as you mentioned, feeling as though you can't leave because you'll be "another person who walks out."

We build a lot of ideas about how romantic and loving it is to stick by someone who is treating us badly. But love is not a magical shield that can protect us from the harmful behaviors of the person we care for. And we get to draw the boundaries with the people in our lives and break contact with them when they treat us badly.

It sounds like you know a lot of this, but sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else. Would you like some resources on evaluating and ending relationships?

[ 01-27-2014, 03:34 PM: Message edited by: Sam W ]

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Teendrama
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Member # 109313

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Objectively I know even for my mental health it needs to end. I read the Self-care article and realised how much I need to exclude negativity from my life.

Yes, I would appreciate any resources gladly. Thanks.

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Sam W
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Member # 108189

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I'm glad you found the self care article helpful.

I think these will be a good place to start.

Getting Through a Breakup Without Actually Breaking

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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