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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » Important Question

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Author Topic: Important Question
mysteriousmoon
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So my boyfriend and I messed around a little. We're both virgins and want to wait until marriage but I did touch his head and rubbed my finger over it and I could feel it was wet at the very tip but it was only precum because he had yet ejaculated. Afterwards he fingered me on the outside of my panties and at my crotch, barely going inside me--only for a little bit but then took his hand out. He hasn't masturbated in 3 days--and I don't recall which hand I used to finger myself for a little bit when I was done touching his head. No one ejaculated and there was not genital-to-genital contact. Could I still be pregnant? (Also, my period has been stretched for awhile lately since last Tuesday or Wednesday and I woke up this morning with a little bit of pink-ish red on my toilet paper and still later today.).

[ 01-21-2014, 02:12 PM: Message edited by: mysteriousmoon ]

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Heather
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Welcome to the boards, mysteriousmoon. Have you already accessed our content on how to assess possible pregnancy or STI risks on your own before posting this?

If so, can you fill us in on what you didn't understand so we can best help it become clear for you?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mysteriousmoon
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I'm just curious to know if, from the following information given, I could be pregnant.
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Heather
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Let me try this again: did you already look at some of our material that can give you that information already, like this: Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mysteriousmoon
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Ok, now that I have read it it has relieved my fears. I just don't feel ready anyhow to further explore manual touching unless it's outside the garments. Either way, thank you very much. Can you explain to me how it's absolutely impossible for manual masturbation (including mutual masturbation, because after touching his precum, I was touching myself) to cause pregnancy?
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Sam W
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These two articles give a good illustration about why merely touching pre-cum (or ejaculate) will not lead to pregnancy: Who's Afraid of Sperm Cells?

Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction

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mysteriousmoon
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They seem really reliable, but what if the temperature wasn't like that? Maybe I'm just paranoid. But it was my first sexual experience...

So touching his precum--and using the same hand to touch myself (no hand washing or anything) will not make me pregnant?

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Heather
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It's about way more than just temperature. Reproduction requires very specific circumstances and factors, and they just are not present with manual sex.

But you know, you get to not be comfortable with that and opt out, even though it does not pose a pregnancy risk, right?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Sam W
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All the info is reliable. So yes, what you described cannot cause pregnancy.

Since you sound a little unsure, are you comfortable with the level of sexual activity you're engaging in?

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mysteriousmoon
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My boyfriend doesn't pressure me to do anything I am not comfortable with, in fact, it was his idea to just do outside of clothes because he felt we needed more time, and I completely agreed.

How come they are not present with manual sex?

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Heather
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Fertilization requires a host of specific factors, including the volume of semen and a great many sperm cells. And for there to be semen, someone with a penis has to have ejaculated.

You know, even if he doesn't pressure you, if you don't feel okay about this and comfortable yet, that gets to be okay. You get to opt out of anything you do not feel ready for no matter what.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mysteriousmoon
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I always thought even a drop of cum/ precum contained billions of sperm cells. Or am I wrong?
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mysteriousmoon
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quote:
Originally posted by Sam W:
All the info is reliable. So yes, what you described cannot cause pregnancy.

Since you sound a little unsure, are you comfortable with the level of sexual activity you're engaging in?

I thought I was--trust me, it was consented and mutually desired, but we're still discovering each other's levels of readiness, and even though at the time I felt like I knew everything, it appears I'm too paranoid to participate in manual sex, unless it's outside the clothes.

It just makes sense in my head--touch head, finger touches wet tip, rubs outside panties and inside myself...that I'd pose a risk.

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Heather
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Nope: ejaculate and pre-ejaculate are actually very different fluids. How about you go take another look at those links and really read them through?

I am happy to give you some more, too, like this one, for example: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/can_preejaculate_cause_pregnancy

But again, this is about more than how many sperm cells are in a fluid, as that first link Sam gave you talked about in depth. That fluid has to have the right conditions and kind of contact for pregnancy to even be possible, and manual sex is not that kind of contact as it is indirect, unlike intercourse and direct genital-to-genital rubbing.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mysteriousmoon
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Ok, and so even if that was actual cum, in my hands, nothing could happen?

Thank you for all the articles--I've been reading them through!

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Heather
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Infections are a possibility then, but pregnancy, while we technically can't say it's impossible that way, is, in that circumstance, about as likely, if not less so, as being struck my lightening.

Sperm cells are wusses, in a word. They are so, so very fragile, and being squashed around at all in hands busts them up on top of taking away the seminal fluid they need both to move and to stay viable within the vagina.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mysteriousmoon
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I don't think it was cum--how do I know for sure? All I know was he was still hard, he didn't say he released nor looked liked he was there, nothing came out, it was like, wet at the tip and that's all.
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mysteriousmoon
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Also, if it helps, I just finished my period--started last Wednesday and ended about on Saturday--but after the whole event with my boyfriend and I, I woke up, went to the restroom and found a little pink stain on the toilet paper, and then even later today a little bit more.
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Heather
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Again, none of this matters: you did not have a real risk of pregnancy via this activity. You obviously get to decide to believe us or not, but if you don't, I would suggest you seek out a second qualified opinion from someone like a sexual healthcare provider or another qualified sex education resource. Perhaps hearing others stating these facts will help.

If it doesn't, then what you can know is that this isn't about facts. In fact, given you have voiced discomfort with all of this, I strongly suspect this is about just not feeling ready for or comfortable with this kind of activity yet, and that you'd probably feel a lot better choosing to opt out until you discover you feel more relaxed about all of this.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mysteriousmoon
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I just wanted to know for sure for sure, 100% I wouldn't be pregnant. I have no other resources to go to in person. Is it 100%?
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Heather
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We cannot tell someone, in a situation like this there was 100% no risk responsibly as an organization. For one, because we were not there to see what happened, but also because, as I already said, we simply cannot say this is absolutely impossible.

All we can say is what we already have: that is is not even remotely likely, that the facts of how pregnancy can occur do not tend to square with this scenario, and if you are concerned you became pregnant, from any situation at all, the only sound way to find out if you are or are not is to take a pregnancy test, as pregnancy testing is the only accurate way anyone can find out if they are or are not pregnant.

But if you have no one else reliable you can talk to about any of this, that sounds like a situation to aim to remedy. It's awfully hard to have any kind of sex life, or to make choices about it, without at least some sound, non-judgy support from someone who also has accurate information or knows where to get it, okay? It's no wonder that in that kind of isolation someone is going to feel pretty freaked out.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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