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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » Could I be pregnant?

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Author Topic: Could I be pregnant?
sleepingisgreat
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My boyfriend and I have never had sex, however we do full around using fingers and having dry sex. Could there be a possibility that I may be pregnant if he ejaculated (nowhere near my vagina), touched his penis, and then fingered me after maybe not wiping his hands well enough? I don't remember how well he wiped his hands. And could there be a risk if we were dry humping with him naked and me only wearing underwear?
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Welcome to the boards, sleepingisgreat (great handle!). [Smile]

Have you started out by looking at this clear, quick assessment tool we've made expressly for these kinds of questions: Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?

If not, how about taking a look and then coming back round if you've more questions?

[ 01-14-2014, 06:26 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sleepingisgreat
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So I'm particularly embarrassed for typing "full" instead of *"fool" in my original message, so I'm sorry about that x)

But anyways, yes I have looked at that! But I'm unclear as to whether there is a higher risk if he may have had some ejaculate on his fingers while he fingered me? And if there's a higher risk if he was pushing through my underwear where the opening of my vagina was while we were having dry sex?

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Molias
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We take all of those circumstances into account when writing about pregnancy risks. So whether or not there was ejaculate present, manual sex would not pose a risk.

As long as your underwear wasn't pushed to the side, allowing direct bare-skin contact between your genitals, then even if his penis was pushing your underwear into your vagina a bit, that's still not a risk. When we get down to just one layer of clothing, especially when it's a small pair of underwear, things can get a little dicey because of the risk of it being pushed aside, but again that's just because that turns into direct contact and is no longer dry sex. So in the future, it might be a good idea to either add another layer of clothes or have your partner wear a condom for that kind of contact. (Heather makes a good point below about this being a more questionable level of risk than I said here.)

[ 01-14-2014, 07:00 PM: Message edited by: Molias ]

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Heather
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Oh, please. In 15 years of doing this gig, I have all but gotten awards for the lunacy of some of my typos. Fret not! [Smile]

As that page notes right at the top, all of the assessments account for fluids with any activity where there can, realistically, be fluid-sharing. And that also includes us knowing about when exposure to fluids, even when it does happen, does or does not pose real pregnancy risks: sometimes it will, other times it won't. But know we have accounted for all of that in that piece.

I get that sometimes it is tough to figure out what is and is not dry sex. For sure, if only one person has a garment on that basically allows the other to still enter their bodies, it gets iffy. (And I'd say moving forward, that's so close to intercourse, that if you do not want to be having intercourse, or taking any of the risks involved, that's not a thing to do; or, if it is, that's a thing you should only be doing while using some kind of contraception.) Are you saying that is what happened? That you were basically having intercourse, with his using your underwear as a sort of quasi-condom?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sleepingisgreat
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Oh and the reason I'm scared is because my period is now two days late, I was experiencing constipation, and I am experiencing discomfort in my lower left abdomen. May these be symptoms of an early pregnancy or am I just worrying myself silly?
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Heather
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Periods are generally not considered late, by medical standards, until they are around five days later than the latest one would expect their period. That's because cycle deviations of a couple to a few days are very, very common for so many people.

But here's the thing: if this were because of a pregnancy, then you'd have a positive on a pregnancy test. So, if you are concerned that may be the case, concerned enough to ask like this, I'd say taking a test is a good idea. It sure doesn't sound like you had any likely risk of pregnancy, but it does sound like you are worried you did, and a negative result staring you back in the face often does a good job of allaying those fears cheaply and quickly.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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Also, you may find this piece helpful: Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sleepingisgreat
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Molias and Heather, thank you very much for your insight. It has lifted my worries tremendously!

And Heather, no we were not having intercourse. His penis was pushing against my underwear but I do not believe he entered me. If he did enter me it was only the very tip of the tip.

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Heather
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So, sounds like, too, it might not only be time to talk about using contraception and safer sex very soon, or even now, but that conversation might also help you feel better. It can be easy to feel scared about pregnancy being out of our control if and when we feel like sex is moving fast, and like we are not equipped to do what we can to reduce our risks and protect ourselves, you know? [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sleepingisgreat
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You're completely right, Heather. I have already scheduled an appointment with a Women's Health practitioner and will be talking to her about birth control options next week [Smile] So, to reiterate - there is no possible way I can be pregnant? Or only a very small risk?
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Redskies
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Good to hear that you have that appointment!

Really, that's a question that you need to evaluate for yourself, using the information we've given you, because we weren't there - you know what happened better than we do! What you've described doesn't present high risks of pregnancy.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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