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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » YAY! » Positive moments of support

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Author Topic: Positive moments of support
Ecofem
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I thought it'd be nice to share positive experiences where you helped someone or someone helped you when you really needed it. It can be something big and long-term or it can be small but very meaningful.

Or could you share something you do often to reach out to people going through something difficult that you went through through once yourself.

...Because while we have to go through a lot of crap, but there are kind, caring people all over. [Smile]

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Here are examples of mine:
*I am really grateful to my friend A. from high school for always being there for long telephone calls.

*I really appreciated how my other friend A.A. dropped off a little chocolate bar and a "good luck" note when I was stressing out over a paper deadline.

*After living abroad and having seen how hard it can be to make friends in another culture, I try to invite foreign exchange students to events and help connect them with other friends. I was always grateful when people did/do this for me, and learning about new places and different perspectives is always really interesting.

(Can anyone think of a better title for this post? I'd be more than glad to change it!)

[ 12-26-2006, 01:45 PM: Message edited by: Ecofem ]

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poppybluefrogs
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Ok, i noticed no one replied to this so i'll start. I'm always grateful to my best friend as he sits for hours at a time listening to my whingeing and stressing out. He even does it when we're not supposed to be talking like now. Last night he really calmed me down when i was freaking out about an exam.

Another one was when i was having a really bad day at work, and one customer was really obnoxious and arguing with me about a price that was quite clearly right. After she'd left another customer who must have heard the whole thing came up to me and said 'so its not eight pounds then' with a big grin on his face and i just couldnt help but feel better because i knew he was trying to have a joke. I thought that was really nice of him but i didnt have time to say thank you before he left.

I try to make people feel better when i can. When my sister started her periods i brought home some chocolate for her.

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prettyfaerie
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A few years back, my best friends, best friend (you still with me lol) had commit suicide. My best friend didnt want to talk about it and i respected that and was as close as ever. One day though, i just turned round and said to her 'I'm so proud, you've coped so well and i just want you to know that i'm always here for you, even when you dont need it' She broke down in tears and afterwards she thanked me for letting her know that.

Sometimes i think we as humans need to let people know that they are there and to be more appreciative.

Pity we're not friends anymore though lol.

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Carpe diem!

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Ecofem
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Anyone wanting to say thanks or give a shout out to someone for being there when you need(ed) them? Whether it was for something big or little, from someone close or something you hardly know, please share the good out there. [Smile]

OR

Can you share some little things you can do to show someone you're thinking of them and care when they're having a tough time? Here are a few:

- Call them up!

- Send a fun postcard

- Write an email or letter (The content can be all about you, what you've been up to lately or what an average day is like; contrary to what one might think, people going through difficult times often like hearing good news about other people.)

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poppybluefrogs
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just a positive thing my boyfriend did for me on monday. I've just started my final exams for A Level and he knew i was stressing out big time, especially about my first exam on monday. i was supposed to get the bus to his house after my exam but he borrowed his mum's car and surprised me by coming to pick me up and taking me for a picnic to calm me down. it really was so sweet of him and i felt like he was really supporting me and looking after me when i needed him.
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Allysa
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I would say my ex is a survivor after all the stress I put on him after my rape he still stuck by my side and coped a lot of my pain and frustration.....I do admit that because of my anger it was the main reason he left, but he never stopped caring and taking the full force of my blows, despite everything I throw at him, he still has time to give me a cuddle.

Luv Ya Babe

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Ally

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LittleMissSunshine
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I'm eternally grateful to a friend of mine. We've always had a unique relationship, but she's always been there for me.

She's seen me through health problems, emotional problems, *multiple* family problems, and everything inbetween. I really can't thank her enough for everything she's done for me...

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Channy
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*When my best friend died last year due to it being his 3rd battle with Cancer at the age of 16, I was the rock for my friends. I held them up when they were crashing down, I made sure they were okay and that they knew we would all get through it together.

*I'm thankful for my friends Susan and Marty, who have always been with me through the good and the bad. Through all the anxiety attacks, boy trouble, home trouble...everything. Without them I dont know where I'd be.

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eryn_smiles
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thank you so much- this man at university was the first person I ever told that I wasnt so sure about my sexuality and about how scared I was. He listened and held me while I cried and told me I was going through a tough time and that lots of people feel like this. I cant explain how grateful i was.

And to my gorgeous friend, soon to be a nurse. When i asked her if i could practice some physical examinations on her..she said, "you can examine anything, i trust you, i know you'd never hurt me". Thank you for your trust in me, i hope i can live up to it!

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Alice
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This is random and dorky support, but here it goes:

I was playing Scrabble on Facebook and I told my opponent that if I disappear then I'm sorry, I have a sick 19 month old who could wake up anytime during the night.. then we had this great discussion about kids, she had 6! of them, plus grandkids. She gave great random advice and after reading me brag about my little guy told me that I sound like an excellent mother, and that he's a lucky kid.

Even though I've been up all night and am facing a day that I'm dreading in 3 measly hours, I'm feeling a little oomph and glow-y. Thanks, cool lady!

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Hope Emme D
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It was on this site actually; I was cutting a lot an d was very scared and posted a new topic for advice and i got a fair amount of responses but one stood out in particular. She told me i wasn't alone and i started reading some of her other posts and learned that she had just been raped and was going through a lot. The fact that she could help me when she was going through so much meant the world to me and I stopped. Thank you.

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Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the the soul, and sings the tune- without the words, and never stops at all

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Bun Bun
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My boyfriend. For everything... The ones that stick out above all the others:

*asking a stranger if you could borrow their sweater because I was on the verge of having a panic attack and was freezing
*staying up until 3am listening to the details of a past abusive relationship that I had told nobody else- just because I needed to get it out of my system
*holding me tight and making me hot tea after I burst out in tears while watching a comedy show at his place because I was under so much stress
*showing up at my house with ketchup chips and pocky because he knew I was having terrible cramps. He even offered to massive my tummy <3

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mizchastain
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I'd like to thank the people on this board. I don't show up often, but the first time I did I was suffering intrusive imagery and didn't know what that even was, so you can imagine how scared I was, and a board member gave me enough info to work out what I had and realise it wasn't my fault. (I still get it sometimes but it's no longer a big deal.)

And I'd like to thank my long-term internet pen-pal, who has a lot of the same emotional problems I do and hasn't objected to me sending long tearful ranting emails when I've had a bad day at work.

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-Jill
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A big yay to my roommate. I lived my entire life in Michigan, but I'd been stagnating for about a year and was getting very frustrated and depressed. He and I talked and he encouraged me to join him here in Tahoe. He's supported me every step of the way and I feel much happier and more hopeful since moving out here.

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“I would have girls regard themselves not as adjectives but as nouns.” --Elizabeth Cady Stanton

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plain milyeh
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i've been missing morning car conversations with my mom lately. those were amazing.
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bluejumprope
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Last week I had a really special experience of a stranger helping me out...

I smoked a whole bunch of cigarettes after not having smoked in a while, and then, feeling pretty great, went into the library to work.

Five minutes later I was curled up on the floor of a study room too nauseous to move and completely freaking out. The room was spinning really fast and I felt like I was going to die. Luckily, I had some Promethazine with me (an anti-nausea drug I sometimes use for migraines) but it takes a while to kick in. After I texted my partner to come get me, I continued to lay on the floor, feeling really scared, beating myself up for smoking and feeling incredibly sick.

Then I remembered that as I walked into the library I saw this gorgeous older woman who I've seen several times around town and I always think looks really cool and grounded and nice. And, when I pointed her out to my partner once, my partner said the woman worked at an alternative health clinic she used to go to.

Anyway, I finally decided to go ask this woman for help, for comfort because I was freaking out so badly. I staggered over to her, introduced myself, explained what was going on and she was unbelievably nice. She sat with me for maybe twenty minutes in this private study room, while I was in a ball on the floor, and talked really calmly with me, telling me to breathe and about the properties of ginger, and just hanging out with me being really mellow and kind.

I was really afraid of being judged for bringing this on myself and she was the complete opposite of judgmental, which helped counter the frantic shame I was going through inside. When my partner got there, she continued to stay and it was so nice, these two women sitting around me on the floor, I felt loved.

[ 01-21-2009, 03:36 PM: Message edited by: bluejumprope ]

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without tenderness, we are in hell. -Adrienne Rich

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Kawani3792
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I have such a great friend...I had just found out something that bothered me deeply, and very few people know my family well enough that I would be able to talk to them about this. I was able to go onto Facebook and message her, and she was (and two years later, still is) so kind and understanding about anything.

Also, an author I messaged once (Nancy Garden, the author of Good Moon Rising, just to name one). I had just finished that book and was in tears at the end. When a book affects me like that, I want to tell the author (even though I know they'll probably never reply or anything) that they're doing this right. So I went to her website to try to find a message board or blog or something, some way to post something, and instead I found an email address. And a few months later, I actually got a reply, a real one-not an automatically generated response. And we talked for a couple of months, she congratulated me when I finally managed to come out to my mom and was very kind. It's really great to find out when amazing authors are amazing people, too.

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Meggsy
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[edited due to some ethical issues that may present issues with our guidelines and triggering - HC]

[ 07-19-2013, 11:32 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Robin Lee
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To clarify, someone being sexually frustrated does not cause them to be raped. Rape is about what someone, a rapist, chooses to do to someone else. What the person who experienced rape did or thought does not cause or contribute to the rape.

i'm pretty surprised at that your friend the RN would put this young woman in contact with you, as that was pretty unprofessional of her. no matter what the profession, people do not refer their clients or patients to friends for the purposes of friendship.

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Robin

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Heather
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I'm actually very uncomfortable with this being posted here, Meggsy, as it strikes me as profoundly unethical your friend did what she did per the capacity of her job and her responsibilities there.

Not to mention that she did this with you with what sounds like a lack of information given to you about caring for recent rape survivors.

I'm editing out your post, particularly since this thread isn't one where it seems sound to unpack all of this and talk about why this suggests some big ethical issues, but I wanted to give you a heads-up about why.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Fauna16Maude
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Not having the greatest of nights, so thinking about a few of the people who touched my life, even if their actions lasted only for a short time, might help.

To the woman who stopped her rush down the hallway for a moment to rub my back when she saw me standing outside my grandfather's hospital room crying my eyes out because he was dealing with a serious illness.

To the girl who was often in the waiting room at the same time I was at the first place I went to for rape-specific therapy, how she would look at me and give me a brave smile even though I knew firsthand inside she was falling apart.

To the girl I went to school with but only interacted with intermittently since she was a year above me -- we'd only had a few serious conversations, but on her last day before graduation, she told me she loved me and was glad she met me.

To the woman who gave me a sympathetic smile when she walked past my hospital bed in the hallway of the ER as I was dealing with the physical effects of PTSD.

To the former classmate who promised she'd be there for me when I told her I dealt with depression.

And of course to the classmate who would always show me a little tough love regarding my panic disorder when she herself not only was struggling with panic attacks, but coping with the unexpected death of a parent and her family's financial difficulties, amongst other things.

Of course there's countless more people, but these are just a few who are worthy of mention.

As cliche as this sounds, the world really does need more people like this.

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