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Author Topic: Communication is sexy
Member # 55254

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I met my best friend from college's really good friend recently and we totally hit it off. We started talking and doing lots of cool things together, and eventually realized that we liked each other a lot, so we'd try adding a sort of casual romantic aspect to our relationship. When faced with the prospect of endings things (as I'll be moving further away soon) we both were sad to just let things end, so now we're going to try the dating thing.

The best part for me has really been the part where we've been talking about and negotiating everything, like, what does dating even mean and how often do you want to do certain things, and how can we make sure we're still letting each other have enough space for the rest of our lives, not just each other. Previous experiences of mine have been really awkward because I was always the one who had to 'bring up' things I was 'having problems' with, because my partner was not comfortable bringing things up or didn't realize that certain things should be talked about.

Also, when we talk, sometimes this new guy sounds like he's quoting some of the articles on this site, about consent and expectations and it's really, really great because he actually believes it. This really surprised me in a fantastic way, because my previous partner and I weren't comfortable with the way heterosexual relationships (and gender roles) were portrayed in the media (like where the focus tends to be on the man and his pleasure), but we were both really new to dating and not able to reimagine things very much.

I would really like to thank everyone here at scarleteen for writing a bunch of really helpful articles that I've been perusing and rereading many times over the past 5 years or so, because it's made me a lot more aware and able to talk about everything and figure out types of relationship models that I'm actively interested in.

Posts: 48 | From: Northern Hemisphere | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I love this yay so much! [Smile]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 101745

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Hey moon goddess,

This sounds so fantastic! I'm really happy that you and your partner have been able to talk so openly and productively about your relationship. =)

Posts: 1352 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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